wherever I may roam

In the Surf

2009-03-17T10:28:00.003+09:00

Sitting on the beach, you can hear the waves roll in and roll out. If you watch them break, you can even feel the pull as they draw back to the depths of the ocean.

Sitting at work today, I can hear the waves of rain and snow lashing the world outside. Through the window watching the torrent batter the world, I can feel the wind forcing the sheets of water to its will.

Floating through life, we also experience the subtle yet undeniable pressures of waves. They may not always seem to be waves, but through ups and downs we are pushed along and pulled back with the power of our own will almost completely wasted.

Mrs. Hattori is an English teacher at Nakano Daira JHS this year. A strong and confident lady, she is a caring mother and the teacher responsible for many of the special needs students. With stoic grace she is holding her head high, as her wave tries to pull her out to sea. A few days ago, her mother-in-law passed away.

Mr. Uehara is also a teacher at Nakano Daira. A homeroom teacher, he is young and popular amongst the students and staff. The force of the waves are combining to push him along at an incredible pace. In the midst of preparation for his students’ graduation tomorrow, he was at the hospital this morning, to witness the birth of his first son.

Students all over Japan are ending their school year. With the pomp and circumstance ever present in Japanese ceremony, the students and teachers alike are being driven by the currents. For many, the high of the ceremony is quickly followed by tears as they depart, for the last time as classmates, and the first time as graduates. In turn, they will be driven way up again, as they begin their new lives at their new schools. And still younger others will ride a similar wave into this school, the currents spinning them in circles as they try to adapt. The teachers too are not immune to these forces, as many of them are swept away to other schools. The force of this, while not unexpected, is impossible to prepare for, as the announcement of which teachers are leaving does not occur until after the graduation ceremony. The pull on these teachers also rips through the students, and rolls wetly down cheeks.

Ken Sakai is a carpenter and a snowboarder, maybe not in that order. He is a light-hearted joker, and is one of my best friends in Nakano. Only the second time I met him, he gave me a ride to the train station, as I was hobbling my way there on crutches. Since that advantageous day he and I have gone snowboarding and skateboarding together; we have gone to the onsen and the bar; we have had barbeques and parties. My group of friends has grown from simply being his friend. The current pull on Ken is so strong, that the rest of us are being drawn along with it.

Ken’s mother is dying of cancer. He is staying strong, and keeping his head up, but the draw of the wave is pulling him back to his hometown in southern Japan, near Kobe. This is not a short term trip, Ken is moving home. As the sadness of the struggle that awaits him at home sits in his mind, the loneliness of leaving the life he has forged in Nagano must also be pulling on him.

Ken’s upbeat attitude towards things will be seriously missed by the friends he leaves behind here. It was with this in mind, and in his honour, that our friend Jun organized a surprise going-away party. On Sunday afternoon, close to forty of Ken’s friends got together for a barbeque. Ken thought he was meeting two friends and some girls for a Japanese style get-to-know-you mixer. When he walked up to the rented out bar, he was greeted by a wall of those who have been touched by his friendship. The turbulent waves of joy and sadness were visible in his eyes. The evening went on, and after the arrival of more guests, and the performance of a band, Ken took the mic to thank everyone. His words were few but grateful, and his choked back tears left many trying to do the same. Sometimes the waves don’t break so cleanly.

For me as well this is a bitter-sweet moment. One of my closest friends is leaving, and his mother is very sick. It is hard not to feel sorrow. Yet at the same time, I cannot forget the fact that I have such a good friend to make me feel such a loss. Looking ahead to what it will be like after Ken’s charm has gone, simply enlightens me to how much Ken’s smile brings to the lives of his friends here in Nagano. I cannot help but feel a little proud that as a foreigner here in Japan I have managed to carve out such good relationships. I feel that I am not just living in Japan, but that I am actually living Japan.

The waves continue to swell and roll, bringing smiles and tears. Afloat in life, we are all swept around by the current. The highs expose us to the lows, and the lows remind us of the highs. At the top, we cannot fear the wave crashing down, and at the bottom we must never lose hope that the wave will pick us up once again.

Almost One Page on in the New Calendar

2009-01-28T10:16:00.002+09:00

It is hard to believe that the year has turned already. As January slowly slips away, I am still coming to terms with the fact that it is the year two thousand nine. It never ceases to amaze me how time seems to both stand still and fly by at the same time. Over the past three and a half years I have enjoyed living in Japan and absorbing the language and culture. At times I can hardly believe that it has been so long, yet other times I see just how adjusted I am to life here, as things that are shocking or amazing to new foreigners have simply become part of life here for me. That is one of many reasons that I have not felt inspired to write recently. As Japan has become more and more the norm for me and my lifestyle, the quirky things I find become more and more acute, and less accessible for people on the outside of this culture. As opposed to finding a way to translate these to the page and to a Western perspective, I have simply been taking them all in and enjoying the new found level at which I can appreciate the intricacies of Japanese life.

As my window to the world of Japan has slowly been growing, I realize that the window to my world in Japan has been closing for many people back home. I am unsure if I can really offer all of my thoughts and opinions on Japan, but what I can share is a little update on my life here. This will most likely end up being very long, and I hope that there are those out there who still read this site, and also those with the patience to bear with, what I can only imagine, is going to be a lengthy look at where I am in Japan now.

Snowboarding and the weather

After a year of training my new ACL, I have finally been able to get up and go snowboarding again. This is the day that I thought so much about during my long road to recovery. As boring as tedious as the physio became, I kept to my routine with one thing in mind: snowboarding. The work definitely paid off, as last year, after having the screws removed from my leg, I was given the ok to board. Needless to say, even though it was spring I was up on the mountain the next weekend.

Fast forward to present day. This season I am once again the proud owner of a seasons pass to Nozawa Onsen Ski Area. I have been snowboarding 21 times this season, with ten of them being before the turn of the year. My knee has not given me any trouble, and it really feels like I was never off it. I have a real sense of accomplishment, and I am proud of the effort and patience I put into bringing my knee back to health.

Though my knee is in good condition, the same cannot be said for the ski hill. The weather in Nagano has been extremely strange this year. The evidence of shifting wind patterns has become very obvious this year. Starting in fall, a very low number of typhoons made their way to Japan. This winter started with a late snowfall in the city, and then a big dump. It was cold for a few weeks, and then warmed up to rain…even on the tops of the mountains. Right now it is hard to believe that it is January, and not actually some time in the spring. The last remnants of once proud snowbanks are now only mere slushy stains in my muddy backyard.

Cats

My two feline friends are doing well. Kuno has gotten a little bit bigger, but I’m sure she has reached her, albeit small, adult size. Usagi on the other hand has been his adult size for quite some time, but he keeps getting bigger. He is a bit of a pig, and if there is food in the dish, he will be there every fifteen minutes. The problem arises from the fact that Kuno’s stomach is only so big, so she nibbles then rests, and then goes back for more after. That is when Usagi swoops in and gobbles most of what is left in the bowl. I am thinking about building a special platform for Kuno’s dish, one that Tubby can’t get up on. That way Kuno can get the right amount of food, and I can monitor how much Usagi is really eating. The worst part is that if he is hungry (which is always) and there is no food in the dish, he will act up. He takes to scratching things he knows I will react to. I wish I could hold out, but there is only so much damage to the couch that I am willing to take before I feed the fatty. I throw him outside when he gets really worked up, but then after a few minutes he will be clawing at the screen door, begging to get back in. When someone comes over he turns to all purrs and cuddles. A big fat 5kg lap warmer…that leaves hair on everything dark.

Work

As many of you know, I changed my base school last spring. I have been working at Nakano Daira JHS since April, and I quite enjoy it here. The kids at my old school had started to take a big slide in behaviour, and I am very pleased to be back at a school where the teachers work very hard on fostering good community spirit and good relations between everyone in the school. The kids here are not angels by any means, but they are leaps and bounds ahead of the kids at my old school.

The teachers at Nakahei (the nickname for my new school) are all very friendly. The school is larger, so the staff is larger as well. There are some teachers whom I barely know, but many of the teachers have become very friendly with me. As I have no homeroom responsibilities, I seem to have more free time at my desk than other teachers. This combined with my desk being the closest to the coffee area and the common table area in the teachers’ room means that I often have random conversations with teachers taking a break. The chance to talk about many different topics has definitely helped my Japanese a little bit.

The Decision

The time of year has come again; I must make a decision on what I will do from August onwards. I have the option of renewing my contract for a fifth and final year, or to not renew my contract and follow a different path. The reasons being weighed on both sides are many and heavy. I have spent many hours recently, staring off into nothingness, trying to sort out what I will do.

Previously, I had thought that I would be given a bit of a bonus for staying so long. In August, the Board of Education asked if I would stay; when I mentioned the Olympics, I was told I could have the month of February off to attend. I was under the impression that this was a bonus for my hard work, and compromise for staying one last year in spite of the Olympics. However, in a meeting with the BOE last week, they reneged on that deal, and said I could use all of my vacation days if that was what I wanted. I was a little taken aback. We talked about it more, and came to a bit of a compromise (one with which I am not too impressed.)

Next year the Foreign Language Instructor in my position will be responsible for two large demonstration classes. These will be viewed and critiqued by teachers from various places in Nagano. This is a big deal, and a brand new person fresh out of collage is not going to be able to do as good a job as I will. I tried to explain this to the BOE, but the boss just kept looking things up in the JET programme guidelines book. I wonder if they really do understand how much more valuable I am, than some goon fresh outta his bachelor degree.

What I will decide, now I cannot say. The deadline is fast approaching, and I must make a decision by next Friday. In the end, the safe decision is to say yes, and if I feel like it later, I can change my mind. If I say no, then they will start the process to find a replacement. With the decision pressing harder and harder on my mind the closer I get to that last day, I am finding it more and more difficult to push my ambivalence even one point to one side or other.

Life

At meetings or other times I am listening to people new to Japan, I am struck by just how much I have become accustomed to living life here. The problems that many people deal with, even some with which I myself dealt with, are often nonexistent in my life now. The day to day things provide very little trouble. Grocery shopping, paying bills, everyday conversations, shoeing away Jehovah’s Witnesses, have just become another aspect of my life that I do without too much contemplation and planning. The only thing that still gets me is the recycling. There is usually one day a month for each kind of recyclable (glass, cardboard, plastic bottles, etc.) Each one also has to be taken to a specific location, at a specific time, on that one day. I of course have no map to any of these places, so I get by with the ones I know, and thankfully Yukari has been taking the ones I don’t know, and dealing with them in her neighbourhood.

My car was recently in the shop to get the Shaken inspection done. What makes this more painful is that the starter motor went a month ago. So about five hundred to fix the starter motor, and then another fifteen hundred to get the inspection and other fixes done, I have definitely taken a big bite out of this months pay cheque. It’s not all bad however, as after the inspection my rear defrost and wiper work, and also the new muffler means I don’t sound like I am driving a Ferrari around town. The down side is my wallet being so much lighter in my back pocket.

Friends

As much as I love to talk about myself, I thought it may be informative to let everyone know what is going on with my friends as well. Everyone is doing well, but this year has ushered in some major changes for some of the people in my life.

First off, Brandon is back from Thailand, and is teaching English once again (to his chagrin). The main reason he is back is snowboarding, and also to put a little money in the bank before he moves to Hawaii, which happens in May. Then it is the big life of a SCUBA instructor for him. B and I have been snowboarding in Nozawa Onsen with our friend Alan who lives there. Alan is doing well other than hurting his back at the beginning of the snowboard season, catching the flu after his back got better, and then getting his ass kicked by me in dodgeball last week. But now that he is healthy and rested after the beating in dodgeball, he is doing pretty well. Alan is also a fourth year, and it looks like he’ll be here for another.

Last year I became good friends with a guy named Justin. He lives in Nakano with his wife Kumi. She teaches at a local junior high, and he teaches one town over. They are great fun. They live with in walking distance (though it is usually skateboard distance when the weather permits), and they both like to cook good food and drink good alcohol. Needless to say, many a late night has been spent getting stuffed and sauced in front of their jealousy inducing flatscreen TV.

Other than foreigners, I also have a good group of Japanese friends. My good friend Jun got married a little over a year ago. Last fall, he and his wife, Shinobu, had a beautiful little girl. Her name is Neiro. She is really sweet, and is the best baby anyone could ask for. She is awake all day, and sleeps all night, barely a cry at all when she is sleeping. Jun and Shinobu even had a New Years party (only four of us, but still…) and Neiro never even made a peep.

Jun is also working a backcountry snowboard operation with our other friends Ken and Tatsubon. They have been clearing brush to open up the old runs of a closed ski hill. They have a snowcat to take clients up the mountain, and then they can ride down a whole mountain of powder. On top of all that work, they are also volunteering to help build some ‘kamakura’ (a Japanese style igloo) for the festival that is held annually at the base of that old ski hill.

My other close Japanese friend, Hiro, is doing well. He and I met in the hospital, as we were both in for ACL operations. It was his second time in there, and his latest surgery seems to have done the trick. In the last year he has moved out from his old place, into a place with his girlfriend, and is now engaged. On top of that, he has grown his handmade leather goods business, and found the time to build a skateboard halfpipe in his house. Hiro and I get along really well for the simple reason that we are both nuts when we hang out. Everyone around us is hanging their heads in shame or embarrassment, but he and I never quit! It is truly a blast to hang out with him.

Thoughts on Japan

Japanese gets easier, but there are sometimes when being a foreigner in Japan never does. As friendly and as polite as Japanese people are, there are still stereotypes that are impossible to break. These stereotypes are deep ingrained in the psyche of most Japanese people, and I believe that most people don’t even realize that they are drawing on clichés or possibly being offensive. For the most part, people who say discriminatory things tend to be people who I know to be completely accepting of foreigners. It seems that Japan has taught many people what “foreigners” are like, and that most people have taken that thought truly to heart.

Most likely this stems from the “Us” and “Them” attitude that is commonplace in Japan. This attitude is by no means exclusive to foreigners. Japanese have levels of speech depending on status, and there is a different way of talking about yourself and others depending on who you are talking to. It is simply a matter of social courtesy to speak in these in-group or out-group terms.

This is why, I believe, that many Japanese people have such a stereotypical view of almost all foreigners (even ones they have known for years). It is not a malicious definition of strange others, rather it is just that they have associated certain behaviours that they see in some foreigners and applied this to the entire out-group of “gaijin.” It can get annoying, and even verges on offensive a lot of the time. It is just strange for English speakers to hear generalizations about all foreigners, as we often define people based on their personal ethnicity. In Japanese, it almost always goes “So foreigners, right, they ah…” or “Oh that makes sense, you’re a foreigner.” In translation this sounds really bad, but once you understand that it is simply the way the structure of the language, and the history of thinking about Japanese as one, and the outsiders as something else, you begin to understand that even while it is a little rude to our tastes, that it is not intended that way. I try to not hold these strange stereotypes against the people who say them, but that is not to say I let them go unchallenged. This is a battle that almost all foreigners in Japan will face at one time or another (or many others to be sure). We must do our best to educate Japanese people about foreign cultures on a personal level, and do our best to not confirm the beliefs that already surround us.

Even with that in mind, life in Japan is not a bad one for foreigners. Though often misunderstood, we are often treated with a lot of respect. If you can speak even a little Japanese, you will amaze many people. Many people will be interested in you, and it is not hard to meet a lot of friends. Some foreigners fall into the trap of making mostly foreign friends, and therefore lose out on a lot. I have luckily made a place for myself where I have balanced my foreign and Japanese friends. Even when I am pissed off at something (like whale meat for lunch), I find it hard not to feel blessed that I have been granted this opportunity to not just visit Japan, but to live here and experience fully what it has to offer.

To all my family and friends, thanks for putting up with my distance, both physically and socially. I would love to make this year a better one for communication, and I will try my best. I ask the same of all of you. Emails and phone calls can work both ways, so I will endeavour to do my part, if you will too. Also, I keep the invitation open; my house has a very comfortable sofa and lots room for luggage. If you can spare the time and a little bit of cash, then you are welcome to come and stay at my place for free. There is so much in my life here that I could never begin to explain in words, and I would love to share that with all of you.

On one side of the ocean, or another, I will see you soon.

Proud of Maple Syrup

2007-11-27T23:47:00.000+09:00

...and hockey, but that's about it right now. In as far as being proud to be a Canadian goes.

I love my country. I love the people (not all of them) and I love what we (most of us) stand for. I am proud of the role Canada has taken for it's self as an international leader that is working towards a better world. Unfortunately, for myself and like-minded Canadians we can no longer take a sense of pride in Canada's role as a leader in those respects.

Recent events have had me shaking my head and feeling the urge to (and indeed in some instances I have gone through with) apologizing for the backwards slide of our nations stance on certain issues which once defined our global image. Canada's (old) New Government has destroyed the country that I held pride in, and has replaced it with something so foreign that I feel this may be one of the largest disgraces in our short history as a nation.

Unlike the FLQ crisis and the sponsorship scandal, the current problem, while still getting attention, doesn't seem to be sparking the public outrage that is needed for the government to realize the intentions of the people. Or maybe I am wrong, and Canadians aren't any better than some other western countries when it comes down to having a government that is...what's that word...oh yeah, responsible to the citizens.

In specific I am thinking of two stances that our government has chosen to dig in on. They are, as you may already be guessing, our country's stance on capitol punishment, and even more concerning is the stance (or lack there of) on the environmental issues facing the entire planet.

Canada, a global leader in the fight to stop capitol punishment has slipped well past even being a contentious objector, to simply saying “well we don't kill people, but hey if you catch one of us and want to kill us, well whatever, we don't do that but hey we wouldn't want to be rude and make it seem like you are bad guys for that, so go ahead...just keep those trade routes open, eh.” Now I am not saying a convicted killer should be free to roam the streets, but taking a stance against the institutionalized murder of a murderer is not saying that either. What I am saying is that our nation needs to stand up and protect our citizens that are facing this situation in other countries. Even if we don't repatriate these people to Canadian prisons, let's at least fight for the staying of their deaths. If we are against capitol punishment, then we should be against it, not just sitting back on our haunches feeling morally superior.

The next one is the real sad state. OK, the Liberals didn't take the proper steps to get Canada prepared to meet our Kyoto agreements. Great, that's on the table. But hey, what a great chance for the new leaders to step up and show what a good job they can do. How about trying to save the sinking ship instead of just telling everyone to grab a PFD and hit a life raft? Or maybe the (dis)honourable Mr. Harper is trying to send a message to the youth of our country. If you can't do something in the time you said you would, just don't bother. Or maybe it's: if you can't do 100% just quit before you fail. Either way, Canada's New Government's new morals are a real asset to our nation, and our new PM (the 10kg spare tire he has is definitely new) is showing his wonderful leadership.

What gets me up in arms even more than him pulling us out of the Kyoto Accord, is the recent hypocrisy that his representatives have shown. If we were drawn out of Kyoto because of it's lack of binding targets for all parties involved (India and China being those of note) then why on earth did his government block a commonwealth agreement that would have placed binding resolutions on the commonwealth nations, which surprise include India! This is Stephen Harper showing his true colours. It includes green, but also blue, purple, red and brown. The colours of our surprisingly strong cash.

With Australia's recent elections and change of power, Canada now stands as only the second country that has not ratified Kyoto (in bed with the states, fuck I hope we have a condom, we know the diseases that they have) and the only nation that has not signed on to the commonwealth environmental agreement. Great leadership.

Granted, there is still controversy about global climate change...but there is also still controversy surrounding the connection between HIV and AIDS. But we pass the latter off as a bunch of goofs who are arguing semantics and standing in the way of actually helping. Why has the government shown that is not willing to do the same for those who dispute the former? Oh yeah, green. Big fat stacks of it flowing black and silty out of the ground in northern Alberta.

So this is it. This is my challenge to you Canadians. If you believe that the government is misrepresenting your beliefs and your image of Canada, stand the fuck up and say something. Post it on the net, speak it in your local cafe, hell, write it on a bathroom stall or bus seat for all I care. We have sat back for seven years and berated the American public for standing by a leader who they say does not represent their beliefs, but here we are and the shoes are on our feet now...and ah, fuck it, pass me another beer a hockey game is just about to start.

Well pass me a cheese grater, cause the maple leaf I once wore with pride hasn't faded nearly as fast as the principles of our nation.

Start with a Seasonal Comment

2007-11-17T19:54:00.000+09:00

That's how you start a letter in Japanese: Recently it's gotten really cold, hasn't it? Did go see the leaves changing colour? The momiji (Japanese maple) trees look really beautiful now. It started snowing in the mountains.

As it stands now, those are all true. It temperature has dropped quite quickly recently. The leaves of the Ginko trees are a beautiful yellow and are covering the ground surrounding them. The Momiji leaves are a brilliant red, and a few have just started to fall. (They are quite resistant to the cold, and many leaves hang on until the snow starts coming down.) The amazing Karamatsu pine trees are changing colour. (That is right, these pine trees have needles which change to brilliant reds and yellows every winter.) And yes, the peaks of northern Nagano were dusted with white the other morning. This is Autumn in Japan.

The concept of seasons and temperature is such a regional idea. The weather in Vancouver has been colder than Nagano for the last few months. Your leaves are already falling, or have been whipped off the trees by the new November weather of high winds. Most of the leaves here have just recently started to drop, and the temperature as well. Our nights and mornings are finally colder than those of Vancouver. While a few nights of negative temperature would signal the onset of winter back at home, here it is the mark of mid-autumn. Even the first snows are not enough to have people thinking we are in winter.

Winter is getting closer to being around the corner, however. The next few weekends will be busy for the residents of northern Nagano. Yard and houses will begin being prepared for the coming season. Seasonal plants will be removed, one that live through the winter will be given protection from heavy snow and cold, kotatsus will be started, and heaters fuelled and fired up. In the mountainous areas windows will be boarded up to protect them from the weight of the ensuing snow. The turn of autumn is not just evident in the plants, but in the life here as well.

For me this signals the last push. My leg has been getting stronger and stronger, as the few hours of physiotherapy I do everyday are starting to show some improvement. Living free of my DonJoy has been simply euphoric. My knee feels strong and stable, most of the time. There are still the moments when I worry that a twist or a back-pedal will have me in the hospital again, but I think these are more in my head than my joint. Also the screws in my leg have been sensitive to the cold recently. A wise friend (with the experience of a large plate and half a dozen screws in his leg) told me that your body has a hard time making calcium around metal, and that minuscule gap is enough for the metal to expand and contract, causing the pain. Despite that, I have joined the gym again to ride the bikes, run, and swim. I don't have the time to do it, but I feel my knee needs the dynamic exercise that my at-home-physio isn't providing, so the time will have to come from somewhere (probably sleep). This push will continue strong until early December. That is when Judgement Day comes.

No, this is not some movie about robots from the future coming back in time to save humanity from impending disaster. This is me going back to my least favourite place in Nagano: Matsushiro General Hospital. On December 6^th I have my next appointment with Dr. Horiuchi. Short of staying there and experiencing the joys of the nurses and the food, I will have a full course.

I will lie down on a slightly padded plastic tray, and have the lower half of my body inserted into a large white plastic orifice. Then, as a reminiscent of about a thousand of those old-school force-fed-paper computer printers drones, magnetic waves will be passed through my knee, creating a resonance image that looks something like this:

I will be strapped to a chair and my leg will have to glide through the full range of extension and flexion, with the resistance getting harder and harder. I will also be made to walk a two metre plank (thankfully no hungry sharks at the other end) again and again, making sure that my footfalls are in a specific location, but while still keeping my gate normal. Finally, I will lie on a bed and my knee will be twisted and tweaked, extended and flexed, while Dr. Horiuchi searches for problems in my knee.

After all these tests, I will finally be a person again, or at least I will be treated like one again. Dr. Horiuchi will sit down, pull out the beautiful images of my knee, read all the lines of data about my strength and balance, and take the feel from his physical manipulation of my joint, and he will make an assessment about my knee. If all is good he will say something like this: “Your knee condition is good. Your course is excellent.”

Those are the words I am working so hard towards. Those are the words that will open my life back up. Those are the words that will begin my full return to sport. They won't free me from the hours of sitting alone lifting ankle weights, and doing squats, but they will mean that the countless hours I have already spent in that fashion have achieved the goal I had in mind. Those words will mean that the days of my winter will not be spent in my house feeling down, but rather up on the slopes learning once again how to ride my snowboard.

But that is looking too far ahead. For now I have to focus on doing that physio everyday, on making my leg even stronger, and on making that possibility into my reality. It has never been hard to quit or slack off...but in the end neither of those is really an option. I know the result I am looking for, and nothing but my hard work can make that a reality. This is it, as fall starts to wane into winter, I press on with my final push.

Going Commando

2007-09-10T22:31:00.000+09:00

Pardon the long lack of an update. I am not sure if anyone even reads this any more. Summer was extremely busy, with the old guys going home, and some new dudes coming in. Between the proscribed physio and trying to get away for a bit, my summer vacation quickly slipped away. Events with work have left me angry with my employers, but then I have a good day with my kids and I know why I still love my job. Things have been up and down, rinse and repeat. But this week has brought some of the most amazing developments in about half a year.

My birthday later this month, will mark six months to the day since I received ACL reconstruction surgery. The process of rehabilitation has not been an easy one, nor did I expect it to be. The daily exercises have been time consuming, and in the summer heat, unbearable. The parts of my leg that the brace covers have been in a constant state of heat rash for months, and worsening as the temperature rose in August. It has been as difficult as I foresaw.

Last weekend I went it for my six month check up (a few weeks early, as my hard work had paid off, and my schedule was bumped up a bit). I did the full sphere of strength tests in the physiotherapy room. And then it was on to the doctor. He asked the usual questions, and then performed the stress and stability test. All seemed good, so I started to put my Don-Joy Custom Leg Brace (or Non-Joy as I have actually changed the name on it with white out) when bomb dropped:

He saw what I was doing and said this: “You don't have to wear the Don-Joy in your daily life.” I was elated. I had never ventured to imagine that I would be free of the Don-Joy so soon. He told me that running, biking, and swimming were all ok with the brace off, but to put it on when I do other sports. That got me again! Up until now I haven't been allowed to run or swim, let alone do other sports! But then he laid something else on me. He asked me to please wear the brace at least the first few times I go snowboarding. WHAT! I was resigned that I couldn't board this year, but he said to take it easy at the start, and wait for after the next MRI to push it.

I was shocked. It was some of the best news I had heard in a long time. My week had been really shitty, and that just turned it around. I am not going to push it too hard on my leg yet, but I have started to add some running and biking to my physio schedule. I am determined to get my power back up to full (currently at 70%) so that I can fully enjoy this winter. But the dream that is so close to a reality, of getting back to my sports unexpectedly pales in comparison to what he had said before.

Three days with out the Don-Joy and I am loving it. The freedom of movement and the lack of sweaty itchy leg is simply amazing. But it is also strange. I have been trying to explain to people, because they all ask what it's like to be with out it. The only answer that I have managed to find that fits the feeling is this: if you are a habitual underwear wearer, and then you miss laundry day and go commando one day, you don't feel bad or good, just different and strange. That is pretty much how it feels to be Don-Joyless. Strange, and sometimes unnerving (say at the bottom of a flight of stairs) but also exhilarating free.

So I can run, I can jump, I can swim, I can most likely board this winter, and I don't need to have the Velcro and plastic prison on my leg all the time. I have been busy, and had some ups and downs recently, but now I am way on top. And the view, it is damn sweet.

not for the faint of vocabulary

2007-06-01T16:02:00.000+09:00

I'll write more soon, but for now you'll have to suffice with simply a rant, and no news.

I am going to kill my (expletive deleted) neighbour. He is a big (expletive deleted)ing (expletive deleted).

This spring I have paid my friend to re-do my backyard. We built a wood deck, a traditional Japanese BBQ pit, and a flower bed. The next thing to come are some mountian rocks, and a tree. This is all being made out of recycled and eco-friendly products. It looks really nice to boot.

Now my (expletive deleted)ing (expletive deleted) neighbour decided it would be a good idea to come over into my beautiful new backyard, and go to town on the hedge seperating me from the street. He absolutely butchered it. Essentially he cut the bushes in half, entirely removing the side on my backyard. He did this today while I was at work, but he only did half of the freaking thing...which is better than the whole thing, but it looks even more stupid now. What really pisses me off though is that the flower bed we dug and lined is now in the middle of nowhere. It was all sized up to give me more privacy, but now my yard is even more visable than before.

I went over and told (expletive deleted)in (expletive deleted) to stop it and not do any more. He seemed to not understand why I had a problem with him playing Edward Scissor hands with my backyard. In the end he said he won't do anymore, which leaves me with just one problem: how do I instantantly regenerate half of a half of a hedge?

What a fucking asshole.

Day 29 and 30

2007-04-18T11:29:00.000+09:00

I used my clichés quota up in my last post, so I can't use all the good ones about getting toward the end of things. There are so many that would be perfect, but as crutches must be shed before walking well, clichés must be left behind in the interests of half-decent writing (since this is only a quarter-decent writing, I might throw one or two in towards the end of the line...did I sneak that one past you?).

Day 29

The last full day in the hospital started like all the ones before and the one that will come after; six something and the lights snap on. The cheerful “ohayo gozaimasu” is sweet enough to cause instant cavities, or turn your stomach. My stomach turns, as do I to assume my patented Morning Nurse Evasion technique. It may be that I was half asleep so my fake sleeping wasn't convincing enough, but I am tapped on the arm and roused out of my sleep. Plan two (Hiro and I created this one to try and avoid early morning blood tests), the moment after my arm is shaken I “wake” in a startle and convulse a little bit. It shocks the nurse, but she still hand me the thermometer and takes my pulse. I lie about the number of times I went to the bathroom yesterday, because honestly who keeps track of that with out writing it down. Ah yes, the last full day is going to be just like the others isn't it?

Morning physio and lunch come and pass with nothing special to note. Time is dragging today. Is it because my time is almost served, or is there some other reason that hours fill the spaces between movements of the seconds hand? On top of time being drawn out, I have begun to get a very strange feeling. I have waited so long to be in this position, ready to leave. It is just that thought that is sitting a little strange with me. I have been away from my life for a month, from my kitchen and my bed, my couch and Kuno. As I quickly as I was plucked from that life, I am about to be dropped back in it. I have been having thoughts about whether I am going to handle that well. The excitement surrounding cooking my own food and relaxing in my own space is definitely there, but I am also carrying around some apprehension. This is probably a very normal feeling, especially since I live alone, but to a very minor extent (in comparison) I have now gained a greater understanding of the feelings expressed in The Shawshank Redemption. I have things to go back to, and I have only been away a month, but going from such a regulated environment to one in which your freedoms are almost endless is very daunting. Even the desire for that freedom makes it none the less daunting.

Having just gotten to afternoon physio and strapping on my ankle weights, I am suddenly informed that I have an MRI. The test is no surprise to me, but the fact that I hadn't been informed of the timing earlier is a little annoying. Same old routine, lock up the valuables, take off all metal bits, and stand in front of the dude with the metal detector. I wonder if it is easier to get on a plane in the United States. Finally, I am lying down on the bed and my leg is being fitted into a support. When that is over the bed rises up and slides into the narrow centre of a giant cylinder. As the test begins, the same old sounds are emitted. I can compare them to nothing, as they are extremely unique, and if I were to be head first in the machine, probably quite frightening. Uncontrollably I shake, as I come back awake. As usual the sounds have mesmerized me, I just hope my jolt wasn't enough to screw up the imaging. Soon it is over, and I with drawn from the narrow passage and sent back to physio.

Back in my room I have begun the final stages of my preparation to leave. The trouble last night as actually wound up giving me a great head start on my packing. Most of my clothes are away, and since I know that I only need enough for tomorrow I can put most of the rest away too. I am having a hard time taking down my cards and other decorations, as I don't want my last evening here to be stark and sterile. After that it will really just be my computer and my valuables. Tissue and water are a few items that I will give to my friends in the ward. In these final hours, as I have taken care of most of what is possible so far, I can only sit and wait for that second hand to make it's cycle again and again until the time when I can take care of the rest has finally arrived.

I need to break this cycle of looking around and trying to figure out how I can better prepare for tomorrow. Since there is no Canucks hockey on right now, I am going to play some on my PSP.

Day 30

A month ago this day was unimaginable. Two weeks ago this day was a dream. Last week this day was still too far away. Three days ago this day was still undecided. Yesterday this day was coming all too slowly. Today is this day.

Waking up this morning, I could barely believe that it the last time I would wake up to those awful lights. The feeling could have almost been called joyous, save the fact that I was still woken up by those damn lights. Continuing along with the standard morning routine, check my temperature, make up some number of times I went to the bathroom yesterday, and take a shower. Breakfast wasn't half bad this morning, but then again it wasn't half good either.

The smile that I could feel across my face was stuck there for most of the morning. In physio my knee brace angles changed to 20 and 105. It is amazing how such a small change in angle can make all the difference. The discomfort of twenty degrees of extension is notably different from thirty degrees. Only one new exercise was proscribed today, the exercise bike. It is exciting knowing that I can try to ride slowly. The bikes here are tiny and archaic, and with the limited flex of my knee and the fact that the seat post only goes up to my hip, it is next to impossible for me to ride the damn things. A little modification (a sandbag on the seat) made it a little easier. After the standard routine it was time to start walking. Down the hall and back, up and down the stairs, and all quickly. The feeling was euphoric. If you have ever used crutches you will understand the joy of walking with out the damn things under your arms, but this was even more than that. A month ago I could barely move my leg, and now I can walk. I can go up and down stairs, I can turn, I can carry things. While running and jumping are still out of the picture, I can at least start to get some normality back in my life.

This is it. I am watching the Canucks game online, and finishing the last post I will make from this bed in room 607 of the hospital. In under an hour, I will pay my dues, and get a ride home. It is still almost too much to comprehend. Walking through that front door and knowing I don't have to come back is going to feel so wonderful. I really don't know what more to say about it, because I haven't sorted through my thoughts on it.

Before I go, I want to make some acknowledgements. My thank you list to the people who came to visit me:

Yurio

Kojima-kochosensei

Takayama-sensei

The Gals – Eriko, Tomoko, and Miyuki

Tokunaga-san

Brandon and Aya

Rich and Kaori

Maruyama-sensei and Kobayashi-sensei

Sayuri

Mochida-sensei

Shoko

Yoshikawa-sensei

Koujo Mitsuko

Mera Minako

Kou and Akiko

Jun

Shimoda-sensei and her family

These are the people that took the time from their own lives to visit (some many times) and make my stay in the hospital a little easier. They brought treats and flowers, and most of all support. I feel extremely lucky that I have so many people here that care about me. On that note a big thanks goes to all those in Vancouver who emailed and sent stuff, and to all you who have been reading my updates. While I often felt isolated up here looking out my sixth floor window, it was communication with you in Vancouver, and the support of those here in Nagano that really helped me get through this. I can never express the depth my gratitude to you all, thank you for your loving support, and please know that it made all the difference.

Next time you hear from me I will be on my couch!

Days 27 and 28

2007-04-16T21:45:00.000+09:00

Fireworks are both pretty and explosive. These few days have seen both those qualities. I have never denied being a pain in the ass, in fact I have admitted to as much on many occasions. To put a slight spin on the next sentence you are going to read: the pain the ass gets the ointment.

Day 27

Clichés are so cliché, and this one is done like dinner, but it fits like a glove...so, when it rains it pours. Today was torrential, and it was a beautiful sunny Sunday. Today's storm was not water falling from the sky, but rather people arriving at the hospital.

It was around half past ten when my phone rang. My friend Jun was down stairs in the hospital, but since it wasn't official visiting hours they wouldn't let him leave the first floor (in all honesty they probably weren't even supposed to let him in the door, but the guy at the visitors window knows me apparently). Since we couldn't hang out inside, we left. I wasn't supposed to leave with out first getting doctors approval and filling out a form, but since he couldn't stay and I wasn't about to go to the sixth floor and cut through the red tape in my chainsaw style, I just left. We went to a sunny spot near the hospital and hung out. Jun is my hero as he came prepared; he brought some snacks, some coffee, and two cans of beer. Since I was already breaking the rules, I decided why not break them some more. So we kanpai-ed and I enjoyed my first cold one (in fact the first drop of alcohol) in twenty eight days (I know it was that long as I enjoyed a few my last night of freedom).

As noon was approaching, Jun had to be on his way. I came back up to the sixth floor. I knew there were going to be questions, and I was debating just making something up about being somewhere in the building, but in the end I told the truth (which is probably good now that I know the guy at the visitors window knows me). No one said a thing, which was good, but I seriously though I was going to hear about it. The fact that I had a bit of a buzz from the beer in the sun made my Japanese slower and probably simpler. The thing is there wasn't even a whole lot of time for the staff to notice before the next wave hit.

The plate of less than appetizing fish and rice had just shown up, and I was in the process of trying to decide how much of it I really wanted to try and eat. It was at that point that an English teacher from Kosha, Mrs. Shimoda, and her family showed up. Her boys were carrying flowers and chocolates. Since the room is small for four visitors, and I didn't want to disturb my neighbour during lunch, we went to the lounge to talk. It was at that point that the third wave broke.

Sitting at the head of one of the tables, with a big bag of picnic supplies, was who other than the night class gals. I gave them a wave, but sat down at talked with the Shimodas for a while. They are really interesting people, as they lived in Viet Nam for three years. Both mum and dad are English teachers, so the boys speak a little bit. We talked about the hospital and about school, and I gave the obligatory explanation of my surgery. They couldn't stay long, as I am sure they were off to go look at cherry blossoms. When they took their leave, I transferred over to where the gals were.

The previous identification of a large bag of picnic goods was indeed correct. I was presented with the choice of stay in the lounge or go outside. Is that really a choice? So after hacking through the aforementioned red tape, and filling out the stupid form, we were off to the ruins of Matsushiro Castle. They are ruins,but they have been recently updated, with a few modern replica pieces and sakura trees (cherry blossom) to fill up the rest of the space. Today was full bloom, and the trees were simply spectacular. We found a spot outside the ruins and enjoyed a great chat and some wonderful food.

Food was consumed, coffee was drunk, and photos were taken. It was then that the wind started to pick up. While this made for a beautiful blizzard of blowing blossoms, it also made us all pretty cold. We packed up and headed to the next stop: 82 bank. They knew where the actual bank was (before Yuriko and I just went to the ATM). They actually only found it because they got lost one day. The nurses had told me it was close to the hospital, but never exactly where. The style of building is not normal for a bank, and the sign is very small and only visible from the street directly in front of it. That is really all justification for me not knowing that it happens to be the building in the middle of the parking lot immediately out the window of my hospital room. Quite literally, if I could go outside on the balcony and throw a frisbee, I am sure I would land it right on the roof.

The time to return 'home' (I don't know what is more disturbing, referring to this as home, or that I initially wrote that with out even thinking about it) had finally arrived. Food was stuffed in my belly, cash was stuffed in my wallet, and I settled back in my room. Dinner came shortly, and then it was just another Sunday evening. I played some hockey on the PSP (the Canucks beat the Stars twice!) and read for a while. After all the excitement I was pretty worn out, and I went to bed pretty early.

Day 28

It was going all too well. I should have expected that things would not continue to go as smooth and as easy as they were, but I has been so long since a Monday was actually good that I just got caught up in feeling happy.

Since Shouhei went home on Saturday, and Nonoka went home today, there is no longer a bottle neck in the physio room. Prior to today, the two of them and I all needed to use the same machine, of which there only happens to be one. With only Nonoka and I using the machine today, I did not have to wait around for twenty minutes for my turn. This morning I was able to breeze through my new physio routine in record time.

The carrot on a stick; motivation makes people work harder and get through things faster. For any expat Canadian living overseas it is hard to imagine that the chance to watch an NHL playoff game live would not be motivation to get past the most difficult obstacles. This weekend while surfing the internet, I stumbled across a page that offers programs that can access streaming TV. The page I saw stated that CBC broadcasts of the playoffs would be offered on this program. That was enough of a hope for me to race back to my room and buy some internet time. Sure thing, after about ten minutes I had downloaded the program and I was watching the Canucks and Starts in real time. This is only the second time I have seen a real time NHL hockey game here in Japan. The other was in a Canadian Bar in Tokyo and I skipped the morning session of a conference to do so, and that wasn't even the 'Nucks.

It was nearing the ten minute mark of the first when the first image flicked to life on my computer screen. The resolution had noting on HD, or even your standard CRT (cathode ray tube, you know, normal old tv), but I could see the puck and the players, and that was good enough for me. Beyond my elation at now being able to watch hockey in Japan, I was thoroughly entertained by the game. Edge of the seat, talking to the ref and the players, suggesting strategy, that's me when I watch hockey. Today was no different. In fact, when the Canucks put their first puck in the net I cheered so loud that the nurses came in to see if I was OK. Nurses and Doctors flowed through my room as is usual, but today they all got a little lesson on the game of hockey. My enthusiasm showed them how passionate Canadians are about hockey, and I was able to tell many of them that it is not football or baseball that brings the most sports fans together in Canada, but hockey. Even my friend Hiro wants to come to my room to watch the next game.

After the inevitable overtime I was pretty pumped up. I worked hard in physio, especially since we have to end early on Mondays. Rounds not only require us to sit around waiting, we have to burn through physio faster than normal as well. None of that bothered me, as on Friday Horiuchi-sensei said during today's rounds that I would be informed of my discharge date. Finishing physio and then waiting for rounds is standard fare, but feeling happy while doing that was new for me. When the gaggle gathered and gawked, I was ready to learn my fate.

Legend-his-own-hospital Dr. Akizuki led the group again this week. He manipulated my knee and said some stuff in Japanese. He looked at me and repeated it, and said “OK?” Not really understanding, but knowing that I heard the word for injection (and not being afraid of needles, either before, but most definitely not now after this experience in the hospital) I said my favourite way to agree with out really showing support and gave him a “sure.” Then they were out the door.

I was a little stunned. What happened to my promise? Dr. Horiuchi told me that I would find out today, and that I should be out before Friday...but no one said a thing. He knows that I need time to make arrangements before I get out. The biggest thing on my mind is Kunoichi, not only because I am paying per day to have her watched, but also because I know that girl has a job and organizing the earliest convenient time is going to take some work. That is the biggest thing on my mind, but there are two issues that are the most important to take care of as early as possible. First, I need to get a ride home. Since some of my friends don't have standard schedules I should manage a ride home, but the day and time I am released will determine who it is that can pick me up. I will have to make a few phone calls to make this happen, and that requires some advanced notice. Furthermore, my friend Jun has been doing some work on my garden, and he has my house key. I need know that he will be home to give me my key, or we need to arrange a place for him to hide the key (but I only want to hide it for as short a time as possible, hence needing to know when I am going to get out). On top of all that, since I am good to go, I don't want to have to continue paying for the hospital room and the food that I pick at. The criteria for release is apparently if my bad leg has over fifty percent strength of my good one. The test I did today clocked me in at over sixty. So what is the hold up?

One of the nice nurses is in charge of my room this evening. I called her in and explained to her that I was promised that I would learn my discharge date today, but I hadn't learned that yet. She went and called someone, and came back with probably this weekend. First, that is not a set date or time, and secondly Dr. Horiuchi said that I would be home before Friday. There was a feeling deep down in the bottom of my gut that told me not to believe I would learn anything today. Right beside that feeling was an other that was telling me not to believe that I would be out by Friday. The problem he gave me a loose promise that thing were going to go that way, and since he is the doc I'm inclined to hold him to that.

Time Warp. Today's post until now was written between five and seven, the time that rounds ended and I spoke with the nurses and seven the time something was finally done. It is now eight thirty, and the situation is slightly different. If the squeaky wheel gets the grease, I have been bathed in it. I finally decided that I had reached my limit with the staff not communicating with each other, and not getting a straight story or follow up answer from anyone. Dinner came, and I refused it, I told them I was on a hunger strike. When they tried to pull out the shelf to leave my food, they found I had jury rigged it closed (don't mess with a man who knows his knots). When a new nurse came in to see what the problem was, I told her I had already explained it. My room mate explained to her that I had spoken with another nurse but never gotten confirmation, she said that they had changed shifts so she knew nothing about it. High five for sharing patient information girls, keep up the quality health care!

Since the sincerity of my problem was not being addressed in a manner in which it was obvious to me that they understood the severity of the issue, I decided that they needed a demonstration of just how serious I was. I started to pack my bags. I put all my snacks except water into a bag. I took all my books and computer stuff and put it away. I started to remove clothes from my closet and put them into my suitcase. Now, I know this is extreme and probably more than what the situation called for, but I needed to make a gesture that showed that I wasn't willing to wait around for their hierarchical bullshit to get in the way of my care. I was never planning on going anywhere (I left the book I haven't finished, the clothes I need for the week, and my towels, and flowers and cards, and all my valuables in the lock box) but I did a good job of making everyone think I was. Half of the on-duty staff must have come in and tried to speak with me, but I just kept packing. I'm no card shark in poker, but no one here was calling my bluff.

After putting most of the stuff I could afford to pack, and leave that way, into my bags, I realized that my own haste was my enemy. I couldn't keep packing with out putting necessary items away. My room mate Serizawa-san gave me a bit of a break when he asked me what I was doing. He was trying to calm me down in a very hand-off way, and made it seem more like he was trying to help me make plans. I saw right though it, but it gave me a chance to stop, but still look to the staff like I was engaged in getting ready to fly the coop. I explained to him honestly (when the staff weren't around) that I was just making a gesture to show my level of seriousness in the issue. I confessed that I wasn't about to run out, but I wanted the staff to think I considering it. He admitted that he still didn't really understand, and he seemed genuinely concerned for me.

After the break, I was forced to figure out how to continue with my charade and not make more work for myself or stall out and call my own bluff. I was standing around with my hands in my hair, when yet another nurse came in. This time the news was music to my ears. Dr. Horiuchi had returned and was waiting to confer with me about my discharge. The conversation was full of apologies, him for not explaining the situation to me during rounds and not informing the staff, me for the manner of which was required to bring him back. This guy is really a great man, and a wonderful doctor. Even when I was super pissed off at him, I couldn't be that pissed off in front of him. He has a really diffusing nature, and he listens and then responds (the nurses are great listeners, but I often feel like I would be better off talking to the wall...at least I might hear my own echo or something). Dr. Horiuchi and I talked about my leg, my treatment, and my post-discharge care and concerns. I did and do feel genuinely sorry for him that he had to walk into the shit storm of this evening, but I am not ashamed of what I did, as I honestly believe it was the only way for the nurses to break the hierarchy and call him back. He remembered our chat from Friday, and said that he meant to keep his word (he couldn't say it because he cannot break rank, but I got the feeling that he was going to talk to me during rounds, but the divine one Akizuki stole his chance).

I was given the option of Wednesday or Thursday. I really wanted to select Wednesday so I could get the hell out of here as fast as I can, but I did have all those pesky little preparations that made learning this info very important. I placed a few calls, and in the end Wednesday is going to work. Yuriko is going to come pick me up (she really has been my saviour, I guess she has been my surrogate family for the duration of this stay). Jun is going to hide my key on Wednesday morning. And as soon as I have typed this, I am going to email Sayuri about Kunoichi.

I know I should feel happy that I know when I am getting out, but tonight has taken so much out of me. I am completely exhausted, but my heart is still racing and I know I am not going to sleep very well. As I am coming to the end of this post maybe I am supposed to have some epiphany where I say if I could go back and change it all I would, but screw that, I got results. I am not proud of it, but I am sure as hell not going to be ashamed of it. I know when I am leaving now, I know my schedule between then and now. And to top it all off, I already have most of my packing done. I will bring Dr. Horiuchi some nice sweets next time I come, and I will bring something for the nurses too. I have no hard feelings toward them, I just wish they would have been more contentious about communication and getting back to me with answers. I hope that between now and Wednesday afternoon that my favourites all have a shift, because I want to get a picture with them before I go.

And it is here that I must stop for the night. I will write one last time before I leave...and I will even post it from here for simple posterity's sake. If the news of my discharge has brought a smile to your face then I am glad, I have still yet to crack one, but I just might soon. Again thank you all for you support, being able to write in a candid manner to people who know me pretty well has probably been the best form of therapy in dealing with my time here. Two more days. I just smiled.

Days 21 to 26 inclusive

2007-04-15T08:25:00.000+09:00

Accountants use them. Sailors use them. Surfers use them. Stage Managers use them. In fact, I bet there are not many jobs that don't use them at least occasionally. What are these magical things I am alluding to? Charts!

An episode of ER, or any other hospital show, will enlighten even the most backwater person to the fact that hospitals function on the use of charts. Any complex system that requires organization and order can be made to run smooth with the implication of some form of charting. In the hospital scenario, charts can be a matter of life and death. From allergies to injuries, charts are what keep hospital staff from making serious mistakes, and help avoid millions in malpractice allegations. Protection of the staff and the patient are the reason that charts are kept accurate and up to date.

There is one problem that comes up when using charts; you actually have to read what is written. This week, a few occasions have occurred, where if my chart had been read properly, then much stress and angst would have been avoidable. Would have been. Unfortunately (I seem to have typed that word way to many times since coming to the hospital, for some reason that makes me very nervous) my chart seems to have a very bad habit of collecting dust. If the chart was in the hands of a responsible person, then you could bank on it being checked. The staff this week have proven themselves to be less than responsible.

Well, preamble aside, pull out your scalpel it is time to dissect my week. (there are also a few people I would not mind taking said scalpel to as well...)

Day 21

You wake up on Monday morning after hitting the snooze button one too many times. In the shower you discover the bar of soap has magically turned to a small white sliver stuck to the bottom of the soap dish. There are grounds in the coffee which spilt on your shirt as you rushed out the door. And you just creep along in in bumper to bumper traffic, till some full of sunshine person bumps your bumper. And since your car radio is shot it isn't until you get to work half an hour late, that you are reminded you were supposed to change your clock over the weekend, and you are an hour and a half late (or half an hour early, they both suck). I would put serious consideration in to trading your Monday for mine.

The boredom of the weekend or the monotony of the same old...it is hard to pick which is more draining, both mentally and physically. By the time Monday rolls around, the confining importance we impose upon our system of time is welcome. The problem with Mondays here is that while the daily schedule is refilled, the events that happen on Monday are so loosely slotted in to the course of the day that they are like invisible and very comfortable handcuffs. You don't even know they are there, but you are bound none the less.

Rounds. For those who have kept up to date with my posts, I think one simple word is needed for you to taste the bile that rises in my throat even thinking about Monday afternoon. As expected this Monday proved to be no less of a circus parade than previous weeks (for once I really wanted to be proven wrong.) The doctors gather in the nurses area in the middle of the floor at half past three. The patients are encouraged (and I use that word with more flexibility than a Chinese acrobat) to their rooms. The eve of Tuesday has usually fallen before the doctors finally start the parade in which the audience is actually the spectacle.

When they finally reached my room, I was half pleased (that he was actually there, and thus 'justifying' our imprisonment), and half repulsed (read previous post regarding doctor worship) to find that Dr. Akizuki was band leader. Being fluent in English, Dr. Akizuki asked me to remove my brace, examined my knee, and commented on his findings, all in Japanese. That was before they were out the door and off to their next performance (or is is viewing). I'm glad I understood none of what Dr. Akizuki explained to me, because that way I could break a sweat trying to imagine that there was actually a purpose to me waiting all afternoon for the exhausted one to grace my with his presence.

Day 22

Why am I keeping track of the number of days that I am in here? At first, I thought it would be like etching lines in the stone walls of a prison cell. I always imagined that doing so helped people in prison stay sane and keep track of time. I now realize (quite literally as I hit the 2 key twice) that it is very depressing, and is almost like further incarcerating myself. I have locked myself in to keeping track of how long I have been stuck in here, but with no set number of days in which I can earn freedom, I am in a sense just morbidly celebrating how long I have been holed up.

Lunch was a barrel of fun (if you are in that barrel and fun is a wild pack of rabid monkeys). The fun had nothing to do with the flavour of (or lack there of) the food. This fun stemmed entirely from the appearance of a new item on my lunch tray. For some reason I received an extra cup of water, with what appeared to be a wrapped tablet of some sort. I couldn't read the kanji characters on the tablet, and it didn't look like it was standard fare, so I called the nurse back into the room. Miraculously she asked for my electronic dictionary, but my elation that the staff actually asked to use my dictionary quickly faded as I saw the work that she had looked up: anaemia. She proceeded to explain that the results of the last blood test performed indicated that I was anaemic. She continued by telling me that the doctor had proscribed this supplement. When I arched my eyebrow in query, she took that for me thinking it was gross and explained that it was indeed delicious and dropped the sucker in the water and let it fizz

That arched eyebrow was less about the taste of the supplement, and more about the nature of my anaemia. For starters, I have had more blood tests than I can count on my hands (literally, I counted and I ran out of fingers) since starting the preoperative process until today. Not one of this myriad of tests has shown me to be anaemic. If I have recently developed anaemia, the most plausible cause seems to be the hospital food (which I have said from day one lacks proper balance). Furthermore, the last time blood was drawn was last Thursday, and on Friday the doctor made a point of showing me the test papers and telling me that everything was normal. So that arched eyebrow was really me wondering what test showed I was anaemic, and what the reason for my anaemia was.

After eating the edible portions of the meal, and leaving the supplement in the cup, I called in a nurse. I asked for an English speaking doctor, and she got a funny look on her face and ran off. The head nurse came in and explained that there were not any English speaking doctors in that evening, but she would help me. Starting by explaining that any rudeness would have to be attributed to the frustration of trying to do this in Japanese, I began enquiring into the nature of this anaemia. The nurse did a good impression of my arched eyebrow, and went to retrieve my chart. It turns out I have a very rare (or they would have you believe) form of anaemia: clerical anaemia. This is the kind of anaemia where the patient is actually fine, but someone makes a mistake, which is further compounded by incompetent people not checking charts. In other words, the kitchen staff screwed up and put some other patients drink on my tray, and when I asked about it the nurse just assumed that I had anaemia and proceeded to lie through her teeth about the test and the doctor proscribing the supplement.

Now this supplement was not going to kill me, or do any damage what-so-ever to most people. However, there is a principle here that needs to be addressed. A supplement is a form of medication, and here in the hospital there are many forms of medication that can have very harmful side effects if given to the wrong patient. There is another equally large problem that was illuminated by this situation. When a patient raises a question about a medication (even one as benign as a supplement) the staff should follow through with due diligence and check the chart, other wise what is the point of doing all these tests and recording everything (and I mean everything, they quite literally asks me every morning how many times I went potty the previous day. And none of them seem impressed when I say I can't remember and turn the question back around on them...probably because they can't remember either). It just seems to follow logical sense that if one has a chart that one would consult it before making assumptions about the situation, that is unless one is trying to experience the defending side of a malpractice case at some point in one's career (which would undoubtedly be cut short).

Today did manage to offer a breath of fresh air, in the fact that I went out side...for a breath of fresh air (now I am either lazy or a grammatical genius). Yuriko visited this afternoon, and I managed to get day parole for a few hours. The necessary stop at a bank machine provided me with a small window to partake in a wonderful spring tradition in Japan that I would have otherwise missed out on. Sakura is the Japanese word for cherry blossoms, and indeed they are as beautiful as their name. It was still a little early for viewing in this area, but there is an old saying about opportunity and knocking. Two brief stops at famous (well known and famous are the same thing in Japanese, I really think the former applies to one of these places, and the latter to the other) sakura viewing spots left me with a few dozen digital shots of sakura, and a sense that I am not missing out on all the beauty of the Japanese spring this year.

The weight of the supplies procured from the local supermarket and corner store, was noting compared to the weight of the invisible yoke that settled on my shoulders the second I re-entered the hospital. Quite literally the moment I stepped through the second set of double doors at the entrance to the hospital I felt a massive weight pressing down on me. My breath became shallow, and my steps laboured. It was an incredible feeling, though one I wish I had never had to experience. The sheer difference in my whole state of being changed in two steps. While this is a very depressing idea (and feeling), it does take me back to Kenan's comment on stepping out of the hospital at the end of everything and getting back into the Real. I can only hope that my feelings at that moment are the exact reverse that they were at the moment I re-entered the hospital. It is pretty hard to doubt that they will be anything but.

Day 23 – yes I am still counting days, I started so I might as well see it through.

Is it just me, or does it feel like that movie Groundhog Day?

Ok, I'll stop having fun with the word processor.

Ok, I'll...

This morning was going well, all to well, until it suddenly felt like Monday all over again. I knew that this day would come eventually, but I had no idea what to expect. Not much, and lots of waiting. Pretty much par for the course (of getting screwed around) at Matsushiro General Hospital. Today brought about more pointlessness, that really further helps me understand how all my money is being misappropriated. Today's version of the Sponsorship Scandal, is called 'Reha-kaishin' (Physiotherapy room rounds) but it might as well be called “please touch you toes” (and not because they are checking your flexibility).

Today the standard Monday afternoon parade goes on tour to the Physiotherapy room, starring everyone's favourite egoist (not me, I'm not that famous) Dr. Akizuki. Reha-kaishin involves a change of roles, in opposition to the patients sitting around waiting for the doctors to walk around, today the patients sit around waiting to walk around themselves. The doctors, smartly dressed in their embroidered white coats and starched self righteousness, make a large semi-circle. The nurses line up all the patients, including the elderly and feeble (like lambs to your table...there's a step that I'm missing in there...what could it be) When it is our turn to stand in the circle of judgement, we are asked to turn around and walk the other way (I swear I felt the laser sight of a rifle on my back). After getting about five steps, the next one in line is sent along. Is this a ritual dance? Some form of seance or evocation? No, apparently the purpose of this is for the doctors to observe our gate (not like Monday's rounds, which are more mysterious than how the caramel gets inside the Caramilk bar).

That in itself is an entirely reasonable and necessary observation, but observation alone is entirely unreasonable and unnecessary (I will try to stop using these mirrored sentence patterns - and breaking the flow of my sentences with amusing musings [shit, I did it again {the inserting too many parenthetical insertions}]) As I was saying, if they are going to go through the effort, or put us through the effort rather, of observing our strut (and might I add mine is mighty fine {I gave up on my resolution [remember the one about parentheses]}) they should at least provide feedback on their observations. As far as I could see not a single patient was told how to improve their walk.

To be fair his Highness Dr. Akizuki, director of the Hospital, God of the limp-ed, did come up to me (to my disdain) after everyone had finished their best super model impression. His exact words, and I quote (hence the quotation marks) “So, what do you think about this hospital?” Good one, you just made a few soccer teams worth of mostly elderly and currently mobility impaired people walk for you, and the most intelligent thing you can think of saying is “So, what do you think about this hospital?” Had I been witty I would have asked “What is the fee for this reverse consultation?” but instead I tucked my tail (saving my big words for the blog) and gave him the very political and quite transparent answer of “I think the doctors are all very qualified for what they do.” I left it at that. So did he. I am still wondering how much I am going to be charged for my opinion (and what it is the doctors actually do).

Day 24

Newton's first law of motion is “Inertia is a property of matter” which is better expressed as objects in motion tend to stay in motion (objects at rest tend to stay at rest). Newton's third law of motion is “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” These definitions work really well when talking about vectors and velocities, but when applying these to my life I see them in these terms:

Adam's applied version of Newton's first law: When shit gets bad, be happy, cause it is only going to get worse.

Adam's applied version of Newton's third law: When you waste my time, I will take time to get pissed off at you.

These laws, while slightly vulgar, are generally considered universal unless you are operating under the auspices of special relatively. Unfortunately (I used it again) here at Matsushiro General Hospital, the standard laws are in full effect.

Today is a happy day (and by happy I mean getting bit by fun ). This day marks three weeks after my surgery. As is the same with every passing week, my then angle of my knee brace and my physio “menu” changes. The three week mark however is like a sweet sixteen, a coming of age of sorts. So I put on my cutest little pink dress and put my hair up in pigtails and headed down to the physio room to the the first one there.

At the stroke of quarter to nine, I was indeed the first one in the room. Knowing that the angle of my brace would change, and seeing the big changes that the people who have already reached their sweet sixteen, I took a seat in a very visible spot in the physio room. A few minutes later my physiotherapist came in the room, and started checking some papers and then left the room. Within a few minutes she came back and stood around. I was across the room, but very obviously looking right at her. She never came over, and never even seemed to acknowledge that I was there. Since my knee brace was off and ready to be changed, I couldn't hobble over to her, and I thought she would eventually come help me.

Twenty five minutes, passes and she was still doing (look) busy work. At that point, I decided that, as I have finally received the English instruction manual (and I saw it done before), that I would change my knee brace myself. It really is dead-simple, four screws, two plates, pop out two stoppers and replace them with the ninety degree ones. It was as I was finishing this process that she finally noticed me, and I overheard her comment to herself “Oh, it's Thursday.” Real quick in the morning. The next words were about me changing my brace myself, and more irritation directed at me regarding waiting for her to change my menu (what exactly did she think I had been doing for the last half hour?)

When she was convinced that I had performed the in-her-opinion open heart surgery on my brace successfully, she told me to do the standard first set of exercises. This was quite strange, since it was obvious to me that all other people at three weeks stop the normal warm up for a more difficult one. My attempt to raise this issue was cut short, as she turned and left to go administer massages to some other patients. Two points: the physiotherapists are very busy, and I had some time left on my internet which I was planning on using to listen to the hockey game and make some phone calls.

I am going to cut this story short, because it is long, and makes my other rants look like sunshine and lollipops. If you refer to my applied version of Newton's laws, you should being to understand that this downhill slide continued, and feeling my time was being wasted, I got pissed off. The big reason I felt my time was being wasted comes down to simple time management skills, or more precisely the lack of them that my physiotherapist displayed. It makes simple sense to me that if a massage takes fifteen minuets to administer, and instructions for new exercises take about a minute to teach, that you teach the instructions then give the massage. That way the person receiving the instructions can exercise with the massage is happening. Maybe that is just the way I think, I could be entirely off base. I mean, maybe it actually makes sense to some people to have one person wait around for a quarter hour just to receive a minutes worth of instruction, and then be sent to do it themselves. Either way, I spent most of the morning sitting around between my new exercises watching my physiotherapist go from one massage patient to an other, and occasionally remembering “Oh, it's Thursday.”

Anyone who saw my face this morning would begin to use grapefruit instead of honey to sweeten their tea. There was a point when my physiotherapist asked why I looked so angry, and I just asked how long it was going to take. I even held in my rage when she told me that teaching my new “menu” takes time. It was true, just not the amount of time that it was taking. Noon was fast approaching, time for lunch and also the time that physio closes for an hour and a half. I left about five minutes before twelve, and at that point there were only four patients left in the room (and they were only there because they were waiting to be wheeled back to their rooms by the nurses.) First in, and nearly the last out.

Every ounce of my being wanted to skip out on the afternoon, and veg out in my bed, or skip outside for a break. I fought that urge, realizing that while her inability to manage time affected my schedule, I was not going to let affect my recovery. I pulled up my socks, and pulled down my cap, and prepared to enter the pit of doom with out snapping into a rage induced Hapkido fit where I start breaking arms and legs (the former being other people's, and one of the latter most likely being my own) Gladly, my perseverance held, and my rage seeped out in a few, less than under my breath, questions to my friends about why my routine was different than other people at the same stage.

Those comments were, as intended, overheard by another physiotherapist, who must have passed the news on to mine. When I approached her later with that very question, she very quickly said “oh, you mean the sitting leg raises? Yeah, you can do those from now on.” Now I really do have to give her credit for not showing a hint of shame in saying that, but I something like that is usually paired with an “oops, I forgot” or a “yeah, sorry about that.” This one, she was stone cold. Battle of Wits? This is the championship match.

A little later in the afternoon, she came over to see if I understood exactly how to do the leg raises. This could have been extending the olive branch, but if it was she ended up with olive juice smeared on her face. I answered no, as honestly I didn't understand, but also proceeded to question why other parts of my “menu” were different. It was at that point that she continued with the theme for this week, and went to check my chart. A novel idea if it was done in the beginning, or if not the very beginning at least the first time that she realized “oh, it's Thursday.”

In checking my chart she realized that she had made a few mistakes in my exercises. Now, I am not one to gloat, but if I were I would have been gloating then, with a big I-told-you-so smile plastered across my face. I am not one to gloat, but quite coincidentally I had a muscle spasm at that point that tightened my cheeks into what may have appeared to others to be a slightly crooked smile.

Day 25

This is going to be a record. It is almost ten, the lights here in the lounge have been out for sometime, I am about to eclipse seven pages, and I still have two more days worth of things, that would be extremely hilarious if I were to read them not write about them, to write. You can stop reading and come back to this spot. My internet time is going away faster than the Canucks lead in the series, so I just gotta write.

TGIF. Thank God (or was that Dr. Akizuki) It's Friday. I was definitely thankful (to neither of the aforementioned) that it was indeed Friday, for no other reason than the roller-coaster ride that was Thursday was undeniably over. Physio went well, save all of us ACL patients getting in trouble for having too much fun (I honestly wish I was joking, but we seriously got told off for a little bit of harmless goofing off. There is one physiotherapist here that definitely need to get himself a girlfriend...or whatever gets him going...and get rid of some tension.)

Morning and afternoon physio went smoothly, as I no longer need to receive (or not receive) instructions on my new routine. When I got back to the sixth floor, I met my favourite (and I mean that seriously this time) doctor, Horiuchi-sensei. This guy not only did a superb job (I'm taking his word for it) on my knee, but he is really understanding. It is unfortunate (I said it again) that I have to lace into him a little now.

In our conversation, I inquired about when I am up for parole. His reply was either next week or the week after. That week after part threw me for a loop, and I decided to see what the criteria for discharge is exactly. He told me that when the muscle strength of my injured leg was half that of my other leg I would be eligible for discharge. It was at that point that I informed him that on Monday my left (injured) leg strength had indeed been well over half of that of my right. To his credit he did this immediately, but again why was this not done earlier, he consulted my chart and low and behold I was telling the truth. It was then that he said that I should be good to go next week, and my release date would be discussed at next weeks Monday meeting. Next Monday during rounds I will be informed of which day of the week I can go home. At least one set of Monday rounds will have an obvious purpose.

Day 26

Having briefly mentioned the ACL gang, and as we lost a member today, I think I should elaborate a little more (also it is a good way to fill up a rather boring days worth of events). The gang happened to be four of us. Myself, Hiro, Shouhei, and Nonoka. Profile time:

Shouhei is a junior high schooler from Iiyama (my neighbouring city). He is in third grade, and was invited onto a pretty elite alpine ski team. That is how he tore his ACL. Shouhei did his time and earned his parole today.

Nonoka is also a junior high school student in the third grade. Remember her name, because if her recovery goes well you might well hear it again during Vancouver's Olympics. She lives in Hakuba, arguably the Whistler of Japan, and just happens to be a junior member of the Japan National Moguls team. She tore her ACL after a bad landing off a back flip. She's getting out on Monday.

Hiro is a twenty-six year old back country snowboard guide, which is another way of saying he is a bum. He and I get along like a pair of bad kids in the third grade. Hiro has spent a fair amount of time in this hospital, as this is his fifth time in here. He is lucky (or unlucky) enough to be using his knee brace for the second time, and this is indeed the second time he has torn the same ACL. He's got a week in here after I'm out.

That's the gang. Over the last few weeks we have hung out in the lounge here on the sixth floor, and down in the physio room. In the evenings, Shouhei, Nonoka, and I have studied English a few times (I really want their AETs to be surprised they haven't fallen behind in English). On other evenings we all play cards and Hiro spouts out the English swear words that I taught him.

The worst is when it is just Hiro and I. We have made a game out of teasing the nurses, and getting up to no good. It started with wheelchair races. Then we told the nurses we were going to go drinking, then we sent the elevator to the first floor and hid up here on the sixth. Listening to the nurses fret about whether we had left or not was a riot. At night we set the alarm clock at the front desk for just after breakfast in the morning, and listen for how long it takes them to figure out what is making the noise. We got a bottle of grape juice that looked like red wine, and started yelling “kanpai” and acting drunk in front of the nurses station.

Now we only do this when the nurses with good humour are on shift, and for the most part they laugh and smile. I think we make their night a little more fun, and it sure as hell helps us break up the monotony of long boring evenings. I am really glad that Hiro is here, because I have someone my age (and obviously my maturity level) to goof around with. His friends and I get along really well too, and I am sure that when this is all over the he and I will continue to hang out and be friends.

And speaking of things being over. I have more to write, and is just going to have to wait. Hope you enjoyed this instalment. Looks like there might only be one more before I am home!

Days 16 through 20

2007-04-11T11:21:00.000+09:00

Recent events in my life at the hospital here have been much more settled and more routine. The effects of this is that I feel much more settled, but also quite restless. A strange paradox has presented it's self to me. When things here are hectic and I feel they are out of control, I get very irritated feel quite put off. Conversely, when things are as completely routine as they have been recently, I get bored. This is not really a mystery to me, nor should it be to those who know me well. The full potential of my abilities are often presented in paradoxical situations such as this. I thrive on having the full picture of events, and having the ability to foresee and prepare for different possibilities. At the same time, it is the kinks in those plans and preparations that create the stress that causes me to be creative and spontaneous, and to function at my full capacity. Essentially I require the capacity to be in control of a situation, yet still have forces from outside my sphere of influence affect the events, thus creating a situation which is off track and requires my energy and focus to have it put back on track. It is a paradoxical control freak complex. I need to control the big picture, yet I also need things to challenge that ability and force me to operate at a higher level. This is not new to me, nor to most of you (I am sure), but my current condition has illuminated this and also given me the forum and ability to express it so.

Day 16

A day early, and a day late. Another paradox? Or is it more oxymoronic than paradoxical? Twelve curvy pieces of metal, holding closed four wounds, ranging from five millimetres to five centimetres. The schedule that the hospital seems to hold so religious (as do I, most of the time) and the schedule of my body are not necessarily the same. This is what makes medicine a blend of science and art, for if our bodies all acted and reacted the same then it would be pure science, and humans would be much more robotic. It is also this situation that created the current oxymoron...or is it paradox?

The itch inducing staples in my leg were scheduled to be pulled two weeks after surgery. That is the schedule that they follow for almost all patients. However, since the human body is dynamic, mine was healing a little faster. Itch and redness were the clear indicators that my body was ready to be rid of the staples. I was as convinced as my leg was, but it took a day for me to convince the nurses that that was the case. Today was the day that they finally asked the doctor to look at the staples, and low and behold he agreed that it was time for them to come out. A day early by the sacred texts, and a day late by my books.

With the shedding of these less than stylish piercings, I also enter a new and exciting stage of my hospital stay. The wounds in my leg have healed to the point where I can shower with out a plastic bag taped around my leg. This is wonderful because it also means that I am now able to use the shower in my room, and yes, shower in the morning.

Day 17

Again, according to the sacred texts, this is the half way point between the surgical bed and my own bed. The interim hospital bed is less than comfortable, but somehow I imagine it will feel more and more comfortable everyday as the end of my stay is (reportedly) closer than the beginning. The clock is now counting down, even though my blog entries (and hospital fees) continue to rack up.

The kilometre-stone (call me metro-centric) of two weeks also presents some new (and welcome) changes in my routine. The largest of the changes comes in the physiotherapy department. My disgustingly expensive knee brace has been inhibited to between thirty and sixty degrees of flex. Today the latter changed to seventy five degrees. Each week this angle will be increased by fifteen degrees. The forward flex will be kept at thirty degrees until six weeks after surgery, when the brace will be full open, allowing from zero to the theoretical flex of one hundred eighty degrees (not possible with a leg inside the brace). The other change at physio is the amount of pressure I can put on my leg. I am now up to twenty kilograms, which is slightly less than a third of my body weight. Next week that will go up again as well.

With the turn of this kilometre-stone, a one shot event also happens. With no external metal in my leg (only the internal spikes and screw) it is time for an x-ray. Of course, as with most things here, it is a waiting game. The radiology department fits hospitalized patients in when ever they have a break in out patients. As I knew was going to happen, they called for me right in the middle of my physiotherapy, but my doctor in physio is cool as all hell, and told them that they would just have to wait for me to finish. She didn't even know that I would be pissed that I had to go and come back, I assume she just didn't want the other department eating away at her time and schedule. So I got a chance to get back at the radiology department, and for once they had to wait for me.

Day 18

Good Friday. This is of course in no connection to the mythical religious festival that occurs on the same day. Today really was a great Friday. The previous morning there was not ample time to shower before breakfast. Today however, I dragged myself out of bed early enough to hop in the shower prior to feeding time. Washing my entire leg, getting the iodine and scabs off, was simply divine. Really feeling clean from head to toe was a feeling I had forgotten.

After getting feed, it was time to work out. Down to physio, and up the weight. The progression through the range of ankle weights is all patient dependant, and entirely at their own digression. I have been making steady progress, and today was an other time to step it up. My injured leg is now working on three kilogram weights, and my good leg is maxed out at four. I will keep pushing this week, and hopefully I can soon max out my left.

My usual ritual of icing my leg after physio also brought about more good news. A doctor came in doing rounds, and I remembered that I was told after two weeks I would be able to go outside. The doctor agreed that it was standard, and since over two weeks had passed that I was free to go to the bank. When Yuriko came in the afternoon I told her the good news. I ate lunch with her and Sayuri (the girl who is cat-sitting Kuno). Sayuri even brought along her video camera and showed me some footage of Kuno and Donguri (one of her other cats) playing together. After eating we all headed out. Since none of us knew where the bank was, we went to the convenience store. I got some cash from the machine (thankfully not enough, as it gives me an excuse to go out again) and I stocked up on some snacks and water. We also hit the supermarket for some fruit. There was joy involved in getting these things, but the real pleasure was in the sun and the breeze, the fresh air that felt so cleansing. I had the same feeling you get after showering. The weeks of hospital air and grime just seemed to float off me as my skin exhaled.

Day 19

It is hard to believe that another week has rolled by. Time is so misleading in this place. Some days it flies by, and others it drags on. The weeks seem endless, and then suddenly seven more pages from my Farside calendar are in the garbage. The weekend is here once again, which means a lot more time for nothing.

Simple pleasures are what keep me going sometimes, and this morning brought a smile to my face. As usual I was first in the physio room, and my dedication brought a perk today. Now this really is petty, but I am not ashamed at all. The windows in the physio room face towards a narrow parking lot that is usually crowed with expensive cars and more recently the through road for some construction equipment (for a different wing of the hospital). While doing my laps up and down the hallway I caught sight of the first car to pull in. The copper coloured BMW SUV (to bad we can't abbreviate the entire English language, eh?) pulled into a space, but it was obvious, even from inside the building, that it was going to be in the way of the construction equipment. A labourer approached the vehicle and (I can only assume) asked him to move somewhere else. The driver looked irritated, and got out of the vehicle to inspect what was happening. In the midst of my laps I didn't catch the best view of the drivers face. I did however see it when he came back, looking sour, to move his all leather interior, gas guzzling, bank account depleting chariot. It was none other than Akizuki-Sensei, the hospital director, and the reason I have to sit around in my bed on Monday afternoons. Knowing that he was put out even slightly made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I know it is petty, and I know many of you will make the value judgement that my pleasure from this is wrong, but I don't care. It made me happy; it didn't hurt anyone; save your own morality for yourself.

A time warp then descended on my hospital room, or that is at least how it felt. With no afternoon physio on Saturday, and no visitors, time stretched on and on. There is only so long one can read, then watch a show on the computer, then read again, then pace (a real feet on crutches...is that a pun?) Minutes turned to hours and hours to days, and I spent about a week trying to stay same. As the only vice I can succumb to in my cell, I mean hell, I mean in the hospital, the coffee machine must have seen me a handful of times. The combination of boredom with my coffee addiction now means that even the cool coffee machine no longer excites me (cool as in kick-ass, it serves hot and iced coffee.) To understand how bored I must be for this machine to not be exciting, let me explain it a little:

This coffee machine (like most things in Japan) has a slogan: “Grind coffee on a mill.” Yes, that is a stupid slogan, but if you don't really understand English it might kinda be cool. The first reason to choose this machine over the other coffee machines in the hospital is the selection. It has about five kinds of iced coffee, almost ten kinds of hot coffee, and two cup sizes: big and jumbo (big being a coffee shop regular, and jumbo being a regular...and if you have to translate those into Big Green Monster coffee shop names you are thoroughly branded and should get back to the pasture). Those sound standard by Vancouver norms, but they are much better than the thimble sized cups that most machines in Japan serve up, and much better than canned coffee. The second reason to choose this machine over the other coffee machines in the hospital is connected to the lame slogan (read it again, bet it hasn't grown on you at all). It has beans that actually get ground and pressed. Hey, real coffee, what a concept...but I think that many Japanese people like the instant coffee better though. And the third and final reason that this machine is the number one choice of anyone who knows anything about coffee (ok honestly you don't have to even like coffee to enjoy this point, but I wanted to make myself feel superior): it makes the coffee right in front of you eyes...kind of. There is a camera in the machine and a screen on the front that shows the beans dropping into the grinder and in to the carafe; the water filling the carafe and getting pressed into the cup; any poison you choose to have added to your brew; the lid getting screwed on; then your coffee pops out the front.

When this exciting a process stops being fun, you can imagine the level of boredom that is required (and the disgusting amount of coffee consumed). This was the case in my marathon of monotony.

Day 20

Up with the lights. Not a freaking chance. Sunday is the one day of the week with no morning physiotherapy, and and opportunity that is too good to pass up. The skills I honed earlier in the week were put to full use this morning. The lights came on with an 'ohayo gozaimasu' and my pillow went over my face. For the first time, the curtains were drawn and the light of a grey dawn filtered in. The nurse left, and with the assistance of my crutch I shut the curtains with as little effort as possible. Then I went back to sleep.

I say I went back to sleep, and this seems to imply that I slept for a considerable amount of time, but the staff are persistent, and for whatever reason all patients are supposed to wake up on schedule at twenty after six. You think they would have learned how stubborn I am. They woke me up when they came to check my temperature, I pretended to be asleep still. They left. They woke me up when they brought breakfast, I pretended to be asleep (I checked what it was after they left, nothing you want to eat at half past seven, so I went back to sleep.) They woke me up when they came to clear the dishes and saw I hadn't eaten, towel over my face, I continued to feign being asleep.

Now in between these spurts of pretend sleep, I actually slept. Here is the really weird part. I was dreaming about normal weekend mornings in the hospital. So while I was actually sleeping in on a Sunday morning, I was dreaming that I was doing the regular old Sunday morning routine. This is a bit of an absurd concept, and it made for some really weird moments when I actually woke up. Since the setting of both my dream land and 'reality' were here in my hospital bed, it made for more than a few moments of pure confusion. In a groggy half-asleep state, waking from a dream about being in the same bed and position which I was currently in, left me with no ability to tell which state was actually reality and which was my dream land. When I finally woke up and figured it out I started laughing at the humour of the situation. I was awake in my hospital bed in my dreams, and in the hospital I was asleep in bed. I just hope that I am actually awake right now, because it would be very cruel to dream that I just wrote three and a half pages and then wake up...there is no auto-save function in my dreams.

The monotony of Saturday was thankfully shed on Sunday. Around noon, Tomoko and Eriko from night class came by for a visit. They brought coffee, water and food, and even better some good conversation. Since their command of English is at a very high level, and since they make a point of trying to learn new and complex words, we are always able to have really good talks. Munching on our MOS burgers and sipping on joe, we managed to burn three hours. That's half a week by yesterday's time scale. We covered a range of topics that I can barely even recall half of. The best part is that we can cover topics like alienation and isolation, and then talk about other things like social equality and historical influence. These rather complex topics obviously require assistance from my electronic dictionary, but other than looking up the nouns that are a little too academic, we are able to speak almost entirely in English.

They took their leave and I had some down time, and then right as dinner time was rolling around Brandon and Rich showed up. They also came bearing gifts of cheese burgers and espresso. I am starting to get the idea that people know me pretty well. I mean, I haven't even been wearing my “If you come, bring coffee” t-shirt. Or maybe I just have a problem. While I doubt there is a twelve step program for caffeine, and honestly I don't want to quit drinking coffee, I should probably cut back a little bit. But as I already said, it is the only vice I can succumb to while incarcerated...I mean hospitalized, so I don't think that I will be cutting back in the next few weeks.

That pretty much brings us to now. It is an hour before “lights out” (where are we, summer camp?) and I am juiced up. Having taken advantage of the very high speed internet connection here yesterday, my hard drive is now loaded up with new episodes of Colbert and the Daily Show. I am part way through a book, and I have one more after that. I definitely have enough to entertain myself this evening, and it just might be enough to make it to the end of my sentence.

Speaking of which, everyone asks, so I'll save you the breath and write the conversation:

You say something like: “When are you getting out?”

I reply with something like: “I won't know until a few days before, but probably around the 20th.”

You follow up with a neutral statement like: “Oh” or “OK” or my favourite “That's good.”

I grind my teeth and wonder how many times I will have to have this conversation and exactly what it is that makes around the 20th good.

Now, I just sound ungrateful...which really is not the case. I answer everyone politely, and I know they ask because they care, and that I have to answer the same questions so many times because there are a lot of people who care enough to come and ask. It makes me feel really happy and a bit embarrassed that I have the most visitors of any one on this floor. Maybe I should change my bring coffee t-shirt into a “My leg is good, physio is good, the food is bad, and I'll tell ya when I know when I am getting out” shirt, then when people come we can start talking about something else right away.

Days 12, 13, 14, 15

2007-04-07T10:37:00.000+09:00

The days have all started to blend together. The separation that is usually represented by a difference in schedule and daily events is becoming less and less present. That is not to say that the daily events of everyday are exact mirror images of each other, but rather my ability to perceive these differences is slowly slipping.

Day 12 and 13

Days five and six marked the first weekend in the hospital, but days twelve and thirteen make up the first weekend since starting my more or less standard routine. Since these days are the weekend, the standard daily routine is not applicable. The rude awakenings, and the feeding times are the same however the other events that fill time are more or less removed.

The schedule of the physiotherapy room is quite different on the weekend. The ratio of times per day gets turned on it's head. Where normally the schedule dictates twice in one day, the weekend consists of once in two days. I firmly believe that Japanese people are overworked; this is arguably a fact, made all the more evident by Japan's suicide rate, which happens to be the highest in the world. Thankfully for the physiotherapists, only three of them are required on Saturday morning. From Saturday afternoon onwards they all get to have some time off. Almost unheard of. This is great for them, but for the patients (or this one in particular) it makes for a really boring weekend.

Having never stayed in the hospital in Canada, I am not extremely well versed in what is offered to patients. However, I do believe that there is some form of entertainment offered, be it craft time, a games room, or some kind of communal activity. Here the options are quite limited. Other than the books, my computer, and my PSP, all which I brought along (foreseeing this exact situation), my options as provided by the hospital are as follows: look out my window (I seriously feel like a fish sometimes), watch TV, or watch my laundry spin in the dryer (for the low low cost of a buck for thirty minutes). There is not an activity room of any sort, nor are there any activities. I am quite thankful that my foresight was clear, and that I came prepared. Scouting can apparently prepare you for survival in a very controlled environment, not just in the wilderness.

The upside of being bored out of my skull, is that it provides more time for visitors. Needless to mention, Yuriko came again. This time she brought along her friend, and my co-worker, Mochida-sensei. They brought coffee and snacks, and bless them, four litres of water (the water here has the distinct flavour of a swimming pool, and I am not just talking about chlorine). The other patients and guests in the lounge kept giving us funny looks (really all the old people look at me funny) but it was probably less a result of us laughing loudly, and more due to us only speaking English. Mochida-sensei is an English teacher and she worked in Scotland for a few years, so her English is spot on, humour and all.

The turn of the month brought a little bit of fun. I played an April Fools joke on Brandon (which pissed him off...I don't think he is one for practical jokes, well at least being the butt end of them), and I also learned a little about April Fools Day in Japan. As far as I know, on April Fools Day you play a joke on someone and say “April Fools” when you get them. There is also the stipulation that you can only play a joke before noon. Well in Japan they do neither of those. You can joke all day, and you really just lie to people. It definitely takes away from the fun a little bit. Yuriko told a few stories that turned out to be lies, but because she never said “April Fools” afterwards it was really just confusing. Moreover, the stories weren't really ones that got anyone upset or worked up, they were really just lies about things that had happened to her last week.

Sunday was a really slow paced day. With no physio on Sunday, I stayed in bed until about ten. I had signed up for the first shower spot, so I was able to have a morning shower or sorts (the first time being at ten in the morning). I followed that up with a coffee from the machine downstairs, and I even read the news paper online. It felt like a normal Sunday...save the fact that I am not allowed outside, or that I am not at home, or that I had to eat breakfast at seven in the morning. So it wasn't really like a normal Sunday, but it was as close as I am going to get here on the inside.

Sunday afternoon also brought a break from the slop that passes for food sometimes. I say sometimes in reference for it passing as food, not for it being slop (that is a constant.) The Gals from night class came for another visit, and this time it almost had the feeling of a picnic...minus the wind, the bugs, the fresh outdoor smell, the blankets, and most everything you associate with picnics. But just like my Sunday morning was as close to a Sunday morning as I was going to get, this was the closest thing to a picnic that I can fathom at this point. They brought along some servings of sushi, bagels (the real deal, and hard to find in Japan), fruit, and snacks. We spread it out on the table and had a good time. As always with the Gals, the conversation covered many topics and idioms that inspired some furious note taking on their part. They really are conscientious learners. The picnicesque (I know it's not a word, shut up) feeling of the day was really heart warming for me, as the warmer weather this year is causing early blooming of the sakura I have recently been thinking about the unlikelihood of being able to attend a sakura viewing party. While there were no sakura, nor any visible from the window (they aren't blooming here yet anyways), it had the same feeling for me, and that is what really counts.

After the excitement in the afternoon, I had pretty much resigned myself to a quite evening. I settled in the lounge with my book, and set in on the last few chapters. It was just about then that Brandon and Rich suddenly showed up. Brandon was toting some things my mum had sent to me through him. They stayed for a while and we had a good chat. Rich has been through surgery, and in his former life as a paramedic he is pretty knowledgeable on medical issues. We had a good chat, and made Brandon wince as we bonded over the experience of having a catheter removed (as Rich so pleasantly put it: like rip starting a lawn mower.) They stayed a little while, but then it was time for them to get back.

I opened the packages from my mum and I was really touched. The box from Mum contained the usual: snacks, a book, peanut butter, etc. However it was the package from her school that really got me. She had talked to one of the classes at her school about my life in Japan, and my surgery. The large envelope contained letters from all of the students in that class. They are really cute letters (made all the cuter by the mistakes some contain) and they brought a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye. It really reminded me why I love working with children. As dictated by the nature of my job in Japan, I don't really get much of an opportunity for meaningful conversation with children (the grasp we have of each other's languages makes this very hard.) These letters contained some really intelligent comments. Of course there were some pretty silly things in there too, but even those reminded me of how much fun it is to communicate with young developing minds and see how you can push them into expanding their understanding of the world. These kids are all really sweet, and many of them are quite silly. As I seem to have a lot of time on my hands, I am going to make a point of writing back to each one individually.

Day 14

The last day of the second week, and also the first day of this week. Monday is always a strange day here in the hospital, and personally it usually gets my blood boiling and my bile rising.

Monday kicks back into the usual routine of twice daily physio, which is really nice. I upped my weight and busted ass. I am not just doing physio, I am consuming it. It is what I get up for in the morning. It is what I look forward to in the afternoon. I am attacking it, because I know that it is my ticket to recovery. It is neither friend nor foe, pain nor pleasure (though it induces both), it is an obstacle that is in my path and there is no way that I am going to let it stop me. I carry this attitude with me every time I walk into that room. I am there when they open the doors in the morning, and I am usually the first one through. I feel like a prisoner in this hospital with all the set times of eating and lights on / lights off. Just like the big beefcakes in real jails, I take all the time I can to improve my body. When I have finished my leg routine I do sit-ups. When I finish my sit-ups I lift dumbbells. They have control over most of what goes into my body, but I have control over what I do with my body. When I am in physio it is just me and that obstacle (and my music pumping me up.)

As long as I am in this damn place I will have a weekly case of the “Mun-days.” The near volcanic eruption that occurred last week was brought on by the sheer pointlessness of the routine Monday events. I say pointless, but that is from a patient prospective. Perhaps these events are very well considered, and perhaps they are very pointed. I would not doubt if it were all a plan to make patients more docile and easy to control, after all Monday, more than any other day, really feels like jail.

Monday afternoon sees a special event, doctor's rounds. While this really is not special in anyway, as the doctors happen to do rounds everyday, Monday has a special sort of rounds. It is usually on Monday that the head-honcho Dr. Akizuki joins the rounds. He really is the top man, not just in the department; he is the director of the hospital. Usually on Monday he joins every other doctor in the department and they march around the floor in a big old gaggle. They truly sound like a gaggle of geese as they move down the hallway. In the case of normal rounds, patients may be with visitors in the lounge, but on Monday, since Mr. Big-Man is with the team, all patients are required to be in their beds in their rooms, apparently as a matter of respect (which I always thought was a reciprocal concept, but not in this country.) They spare us the shackles, but really at that point does it make a difference?

Half past three is the 'scheduled' time for these rounds. This week, as I knew they were going to happen, I was ready and waiting in my room at that time. Four rolled around, and then half past four. Finally at quarter to five the gaggle gathered in my room. Low and behold, Akizuki-sensei wasn't even with them today. Moreover, my surgeon Dr. Horiuchi was also absent! They spoke to my room mate for about a minute, then it was my turn. The highest in command looked at my leg, said “It's swolen” (which happens to be a single word in Japanese). I responded with “It usually is after physiotherapy.” Then they walked out of the room.

The instantaneous spike in my blood pressure and heart rate was so great, that the sound of my heart furiously forcing my blood through restricted veins was the only thing I could hear. I couldn't believe that it happened again. I sat around in my bed for an hour and a half for some doctor, who isn't even the head doctor (and thus negating the entire point of being in my damn room), to come in and look at my leg and make a single word observation that even some freaking uneducated homeless punk off the street could make! Beyond the complete contempt for the rights of the patients, this is simply too much for me. I have staples in my leg that are ready to be pulled, but the nurses keep insisting the schedule says I have to wait until two weeks have passed. The doctor never even lifted my bandage to check them. Had he, I know that they would have pulled them that day. This tradition is insulting to the patients, and worse than pointless. Since they never even took more than a passing glance at my leg, any point of doing a check up was completely nullified. What a crock.

It is on this note that I have decided to show them what I think of the 'required respect' for the Monday rounds. Next week after physio, I am going to take my PSP or a book to some remote corner of the hospital, a place they will never look for me. I will wait until about five thirty to ensure that the doctors have finished their rounds before returning to my room. If, and when ( I know it will be when) I get flack for not being in my room, there is going to be hell to pay. And I, I will be the one collecting. I have had enough of this authority worship ruling my life in this damn place. The point of medical care is patient recovery, not deifying the doctors. Talk about a God Complex. If they want to feel all high and might they they should go skydiving.

Day 15

Two weeks ago this day, I walked through the front doors of the hospital and I have yet to go back through them. I used a roller coaster analogy in a previous post, but I have revised my idea. The time I am spending here is more like rock climbing.

Marked with scrapes, bruises, and cuts, I use every single ounce of energy to get up the face of this beast. Straining muscles pumped full of lactic acid are screaming as they are pushed farther and father past their limit. And for all this effort, all it takes is for a hand or foot to find a less then secure purchase, or for a gust of wind to come out of the blue, and then I drop. Free-fall tumbling down, spiralling out of control, to the point where my rope snaps tight, wrenching my body. And from that low I am forced to regain my balance, refocus my mind, and start up the beast again.

I am extremely lucky to have people to man that rope for me. They are the ones who help me keep some of the ground I gain before I am tossed down again. I have had so many visitors, and they make me feel truly honoured. The little things I have received are pick me ups in the times that the system has beaten me down. Flowers, candy, cards, and toys all adorn my little corner of this room. I am not at home, and that much is ever apparent, but I have a little space where I can at least feel ownership of something.

Today Rich and his gal Kaori came to visit. They brought a big ol' goodie bag, and it seriously felt like Christmas. There were snacks and treats, toys and games, and even DVDs (Rich has a massive DVD collection, and he brought me some of his favourite picks). To top it all off, they brought me Bamiyan. Bamiyan is a Chinese food restaurant in Japan, and according to the box it is world famous (I highly doubt that, but really does anything that makes that claim live up to that? Is is possible?) The validity of it's claim aside, Bamiyan makes some bad-ass food. Rich and Kaori brought me a big bowl of ginger beef, and oh my was I in heaven. I threw it on top of the rice that came with dinner and it may very well have been the best thing I have eaten since getting locked up in here. After I ate dinner and read a bit, I settled in bed and watched some DVDs on my computer. It is the moments like these that my support network provides me with.

It is these moments that help me, for however brief it may be, forget where I am and the regulations that govern my existence in here. I am truly lucky that I have people over here who make the effort to make my stay better. A big thanks goes out to all of them, and also to all of you who read and comment. For your comments also keep me going and writing, and when I hit a bump in the road here, knowing that it will make a funny or interesting story on my blog, and I am glad that I can release some of the tension that way. Please raise a glass to you for me (since I can't drink in here). Cheers to you all.

Days 9, 10, & 11 (look Ma I can count!)

2007-03-31T19:05:00.000+09:00

Days 9 and 10

A calm has befallen the event at Matsushiro General. Whether this is due to becoming more accustomed to the style of life, or to the attention the staff is now paying to being more informative, or even to the schedules recently given to me, I cannot cay. However, the lull in insanity is definitely welcome.

As mentioned, after recent events the staff have seen fit to provide me with a few lists and schedules. Information I have received includes the approximate times of doctor's rounds, the weekly routines of retrieving my bodily fluids, and other pokes and prods that occur regularly. Beyond these routine events, that were previously stated to be unscheduled, the nurses, for the most part, have been quite diligent about informing me of changes to the standard course as well as taking their time to explain things fully. It is very fortunate that this level of care and attention to not just the physical, but mental health of the patient is being provided. It is still very unfortunate that events had to unfold as they did earlier this week in order to bring about this awareness.

I am able to recognize that prior to this change, the staff were still looking after my best interests as they saw fit. That last prepositional phrase however is the proverbial pea under the tower of mattresses. In contemplating the attitudes that surrounded me, it was obvious that their intent was not malicious. That being stated, a lack of malicious intent and the ability to cause harm are not causatively linked. Stated otherwise, by considering simply my physical condition, they in effect reduced my existence to only that state. The care for my physical well being is not in anyway malicious, in fact it is rather the opposite, but in doing so they pushed the health of my mental state to the outskirts of consideration, and that, while unintentional, caused much harm.

Things have become much better, and I believe that everyone is feeling good about it. I can tell that a few of the staff are on eggshells around me, but to be honest I feel that a change of that nature is positive. Those specific people previously seemed concerned with only the status quo. This is not simply a feeling that was brought up by my status as an outsider or from the organizational facets of my personality. There are a few students staying on the floor, with the same injury as I, and they all agreed that those nurses are the least friendly, and in my words curt.

I can only hope that as far as the future of this department is concerned, that a lesson is learned from the hardships I have experienced. If they walk away thinking that Gaijin or Canadians are difficult patients, then they have missed the point (that may be true for this Canadian Gaijin, but that is still beside the point.) If they think that foreigners need extra care and attention when staying in the hospital, as true as that may be, they have still missed the point. Only if they realize that the level of care and attention that I have demanded of them is the only acceptable level of care for all patients, Japanese and Gaijin alike, then they will have fully understood what I have struggled so hard to illuminate. The care giving facilities of the staff must be focused on the physical state of the patients, but if this comes at a detriment to the attention paid to the mental wellness of the patients then there is simply no point in even operating. When that is the case, the physical condition of the patient is fixed simply to cause damage to the mental condition.

Aside from the philosophical differences that the nursing staff and I have towards patient care, things have been going very well. I am attending “rihabiri” (physiotherapy) twice a day, and achieving noticeable results. Since beginning Monday, I have doubled the weight in the exercises on my injured leg. While walking I have also been focusing a majority my attention on my gate. I am trying to walk as naturally as possible, using the crutches only to relieve weight from my leg. I believe I have been quite successful at this. The practice on crutches last year, as in going to Tokyo three times and Kyoto once on the damn things, has no doubt helped me in this endeavour. While I am not holding my breath that any of this will help me heal more quickly, I am hopeful that this will help my body heal as best as it can.

Day 11

Anyone who has ever ridden a tall roller coaster will be able to remember the points where one chain drive ends, and the next picks up. There is a little bit of a jolt to the car, but things keep moving in the same direction. Today has seen a few of these points, but this are still more or less on the up.

The first jolt really occurred last night, but much like the observance of supernovae long after the event itself has taken place, the resonance of this jolt didn't come to fruition until today. Last night I singed up for a shower time. There is a shower in my room, but as I cannot really stand in it currently, I am more or less required to shower in the communal room where there are seats. The communal room is quite large and is used by everyone, but by only one person at a time. When my slot was called last night, I hobbled to my room and collected my shower stuff, and proceeded to the shower room. However, upon arrival I found that my time had been unceremoniously stolen by one of the Domestic Silver-haired Giichans. There was very little time left in the hours of operation for the shower, so in another room I washed my hair in a sink. I also cleared an early morning spot with the night nurses, with the guarantee that they would inform the morning staff.

After struggling to conciousness with my alarm at six (they were late on the lights today), I grabbed my bag and towel and headed off. I was about three strides out the door when who else but Patronizing Nurse stopped me. I told her that I had cleared a morning shower and all was good. In a less that appealing manner she told me I had to wait for my temperature to be taken, and to get back to my room. She stated she was only two rooms down the hall and would be in my room soon. As I was making an effort to remain congenial (man I was straining) I went back and waited. She finally came, and, after about a total of fifteen minuets elapsed, I was free to go.

The shower felt great. I haven't had a morning shower since before my surgery. I forgot how good I can feel in the morning with a little time under hot water, and some soap under my...well you get the idea. I ate almost all my breakfast as I was nice and awake. I had a wonderful start to my day.

After returning from physio, the ripples had continued to spread. I was approached by the head nurse, who explained to me that the shower times are from ten in the morning until nine at night. She stated that this was a hospital regulation (or rather that is what my electronic dictionary said) and that she couldn't bend the rules for me, because other people would also expect the same thing. The part about bending the rules was completely reasonable to me, but I couldn't figure out why there was no morning shower slot. Apparently they only staff three nurses until nine, and if someone falls in the shower then they are afraid that they will not have the resources to deal with other situations. Again, completely reasonable. I told her I understood, and that it was just unfortunate that many people from North America are not accustomed to evening showers, and that I always feel so much better after a wash in the morning. I didn't complain or ask for special compensation at all. The one thing I enquired about was the shower in my room. There is another rule about not showering while your room mate is there; that I didn't understand but I let it slide.

My disappointment was obvious, but she made sense so there wasn't much I could do. It was at that point that Dr. Horiuchi came to my aid. He told me that he completely understood where I was coming from, as he encountered the reverse when he was in the United States. He knew that a morning shower would help my spirits, especially as the only good coffee in the hospital costs a fortune. He said he would talk it over with the other doctors and draw a conclusion with in a few hours.

A man of his word, he came back and he had good news. I could shower in my room in the morning, and he had run it past my room mate who had no problem with it (my room mates 27 year old son also likes morning showers). The only problem was when we put a shower chair in my shower and there was almost no space. As I respect Dr. Horiuchi, and he decided to help me with this situation even with out me asking for help (or even raising a fuss...seriously!) I told him we could compromise. Until my staples are yanked, I will shower in the afternoon in the common room. Once I can get my leg wet and stand in the shower, I have free reign over the shower in my room. I told him that I felt we reached a great compromise and had met each other half way. He said that it was the Japanese way, and that in North America it is black or white. I couldn't stifle my laughter and I refuted his claim and told him that the true Japanese way is to shut your mouth and follow the rules.

There was another jolt in the ride up today. It first came to light in the morning, but again played out over many hours. The true insanity, and to me sheer hilarity, of the situation is that it was something I have been trying to avoid for months.

My leg is currently wrapped in a very expensive array of very light weight high tensile strength plastic, and velcro straps, better known in the ward by the name “Don-Joy.” Don-Joy is a custom knee brace company, the piece of hardware I am sporting is definitely near the top of the line. The price tag alone should confirm the fact. This baby drops in at over fifteen hundred Canadian. Since receiving my brace, I have asked a few people about who, how, and when I am supposed to pay for this baby. Nobody had given me a clear answer, but of course that didn't mean I was getting off with out paying. And of course, regardless to how hard I tried to find out how to pay, when if finally came down from the other end of the line, it was now an immediate situation.

Patronizing Nurse rushed in my room, and threw her face barely farther than the end of my tooth brush and started to interrogate me about paying for the brace. I pulled a few inches back, and removed my tooth brush (it's electric so I let it spin a little after I removed it, with hopes that the spray would make her back off a bit). I informed her that I have been trying to get to the bottom of that since I got the damn thing. She spouted a bunch of Japanese that I didn't understand, and as she wasn't making an effort of to be understandable, I went back to cleaning my teeth. A very nice friendly nurse came in after a few minutes, and we were able to have a normal conversation (and no it isn't just my dislike for PN that makes her hard to understand, she just can't seem to think of various ways to describe situations and just ends up repeating herself. The comic value would be tremendously high if I were only observing from a slightly farther and much more removed position.)

The Don-Joy Man (and no, neither of those is actually his name, though he is a man) comes on every Thursday. He was here yesterday looking to collect. Funny, I inquired about this a bunch of times, why did this information suddenly become common knowledge? I told them that since I would like two things from Mr.DonJoy: an invoice (before I drop a bucket of cash), and the English instruction manual (as they saw fit to provide me with the Japanese manual). The whole not having paid yet, didn't really seem to be an issue, it was more how I was going to pay that got the water boiling.

This problem extends beyond the brace and to the hospital fees as well. The brace is a one shot deal, but the hospital, unlike how I believe things work at home, you pay your balance every ten days (maybe so if you die on them you are not a total loss?) Now as far as the hospital fees go, I have been trying to find those out since December, but I kept getting run around until five days prior to my stay. When it is all said and done, the brace, the stay, and the surgery will total around 750,000 yen. Now that isn't a problem, I have the money (and I get a lot back after I file for medical assistance). The problem is getting the money.

Since I was only informed five days in advance of my stay of the actual cost, I was at a loss to get the money. The bank machines give a total of 100,000 yen a day, and I had other expenses to pay prior to coming to the hospital. My credit cards are out of the question, as my Master Card is expired with the new one on my mom's counter in Richmond, and my Visa limit is too low...not to mention the exchange gouge they would hit me with. So it's cash or nothing. Well never to worry, the hospital is run by JA (an agricultural alliance, that has their fingers in everything) which also runs a bank. Low and behold there is a bank machine in the hospital. That is good for everyone who uses the mountain hick bank of JA, but I am with the moderately sized rural city bank 82. And for some stupid reason, the JA bank machine in the hospital only accepts JA cards. I think they really don't want me to pay.

I managed to get 300,000 yen out before I came, and it is locked in my room safe. No one here knows that, and I am sure as hell not going to tell anyone. This is my ticket. They are going to authorize me to go out to the bank and get some cash. The nurses are sympathetic, as most of them bank with 82, but get paid in JA accounts. I am not so excited about going to the bank, but I am getting permission to go outside! The other part of my plan is that I can then also hit the convenience store, and stock up on stuff that is too expensive at the hospital JA run store.

The nurses suggested the idea, and my student Yuriko and I started scheming this afternoon. We made plans to book out tomorrow afternoon, and even get a quick but good meal on the outside. I seriously felt like I was getting day parole or something. It was all good to go...until Dr. Horiuchi spoke up. In his opinion (which I do trust) it is too early to go out as he thinks it's going to be dangerous on my crutches. Now granted he didn't see me ride a jam-packed bus in Kyoto, or the bullet train and Yamanote line with crutches, but hey he's the doc. He already took the liberty of having my hospital payments waived until he thinks it's safe for me to go outside, and he called Don-Joy and has had them invoice me but I don't have to pay until I am given my parole. It was tough to get my hopes up and have them deflated again, but to be honest, this not having to pay a bunch of separate times is much better.

So I am stuck here for the weekend, with no snack food reinforcements (save those which I am brought) and only the nasty tap water and expensive coffee...not to mention what ever it is that passes for food sometimes. In spite of that, I am looking forward to this weekend. Yuriko and her friend Mochida-sensei (a teacher I occasionally work with) are coming tomorrow afternoon, and that should be a barrel of monkeys. Sunday also brings some excitement as the Gals from night class are coming down, and that is always a good time. I am especially looking forward to it as Eriko lent me a copy of “Kafka on the Shore” and I am closing in on the end. I have some interesting thoughts that I can't wait to discuss with the few of them who have read it in Japanese. On that note, you should all read it. Kenan first recommended it to me, and I fully understand why. I don't want to stop reading it, but I also don't want to rush it, as I want to savour everyone of the gourmet ideas that are perfectly served up.

Anyhow, I am now sitting in the dark (have been for an hour) with my head lamp on, very probably getting eye damage from my screen. It is late, and to be honest, I want to go read. Hope you have all enjoyed my latest misadventures. I may be insane for doing this in Japan, and doing this in Japan may be making me insane, but at least I will walk out of here with one hell of a story (I don't know which is more exciting at this point, the walking, or the walking out of here, or the one hell of a story.) I seem to have a problem stopping once I start writing. I think I need a twelve step program.

Day 7 and 8

2007-03-28T07:11:00.000+09:00

As spring break ticks away here in Japan, so do the day at the hospital. My friends are all out on vacation, but in here I am the one on a freaking trip. Like a hallucinogenic trip there are ups and downs, and also the distinct possibility that the trip can turn bad. Somethings that happen are entirely unbelievable but yet they are completely real, just the opposite of the aforementioned hallucinogenics.

Day 7

Up with the slow rise of dawn...oh how I wish. It is more like up with the blink and flicker of the florescent lights being snapped on at six in the morning. The only sunshine is in the voice of the offending nurse as she greets us with an “ohayo gozaimasu”. The morning routine seems to be slightly different everyday, and I hadn't got it quite figured out.

The time between the cheerful good morning and feeding time is a dreamy mix of semi-conciousness and sleep. Sometimes a nurse comes and shoves a thermometer in my face and asks me to put it under my arm, and some of those times she grabs my arm and starts to take my blood pressure. Other mornings its a needle in the arm, and an empty cup on the table, with instructions to fill it...and don't forget. One time I was so irritated I filled it to the brim, but low and behold the damn nurse never came to pick it up. Don't forget, ha.

I was under the impression that every morning we were given piping hot face towels, and asked it we want a nurse to wipe us down (until we can shower of course). Today is different though, as I never got a towel. In fact I didn't even know that the nurse had come to bring them, until she left the room taking my room mate's towel away. For the life of me I can't understand why I wasn't offered one; they wake me up to stick me and prick me, but I guess my feeling clean is not on their priority list.

Furthermore, I received said sponge (really a towel, my towel) bath only once... and that was the day after surgery. A few days have passed since then, and with my post-operative fever I am starting to rival a block of very good cheese. I finally had enough this morning and when what ever two of the twelve doctors did rounds I demanded to know when I could shower. When they told me that once my staples were pulled in a few weeks I would be able to shower, the anger in my voice started to rival the stench wafting from my unmentionable parts. The nurses saved the situation by saying I could cover my leg in plastic, and the doctor agreed. I asked the nurse to sign me up for a time slot in the shower room, and to inform me of what time that would be at. She of course said yes, and the like the current state of the polar ice caps, she disappeared never to be seen again.

As breakfast was being dropped off, I asked a few questions. First off, it was still my Mum's birthday in Canada and I wanted to buy some internet time and make a call to send my best wishes. On top of that I had some laundry to do (especially with my semblance to cheese). I knew I was starting physiotherapy, so I was inquiring as to what time that was at. Food times are set, so I was trying to calculate what the most efficient way to do my chores was. I asked two separate nurses on to separate occasions, only to have them never return.

I proceeded to make my phone call before the head nurse came in to introduce myself and my room mate to three new nursing staff...she did not introduce them to us. I stopped her and asked her about the physio schedule and explained why I wanted to know. She said she would get back to me when she had done the rounds with the newbies. Bless her heart she got back to me. I just wish it was in a different manner.

The buzz of the intercom near my head was quickly followed the head nurse telling me to go to physio...now. I had a moment of rage, and a moment of panic, and then I told her I would have to put on some underwear and shorts as I was still in my pyjamas. I rushed down to physio and luckily beat the masses. That is understandable even on my crutches, as the masses mostly consist of two breeds, the Japanese Silver-haired Giichan and Baachan. My trainer introduced herself. She showed me where to sit, and how to wear my brace, and then she slapped some ankle weights on me. She got me started before running off to deal with no less that six other patients. She periodically came back and assigned me the next set of exercises. They hurt, and they are tough, but I persevered. Roughly two hours later she released me with the instructions to return in the afternoon. Thankfully she gave me a time.

Back to the sixth floor and time for laundry. The washing machine was not that hard to figure out, it eats lots of money and quite possibly the occasional sock. Two bucks later, my skivvies and my towels were getting clean. Oh how I envied them.

Food came and went, the dryer swallowed more of my money, and soon again it was down to physio again. The same set, but this time unsupervised. The biggest difference however was that this time I didn't forget my music. All was good until I was interrupted and told I had visitors.

Maryuyama-sensei and Chie-sensei from Kosha had come to visit. I called it a day, and we went to chat in the sixth floor lounge. Bless their hearts; they brought flowers and strawberries (which I am eating now). These two wonderful ladies were a few of my best friends as Kosha. The three of us sat together in the teachers room, and Maruyama-sensei was the head of the English department. Even my eyes got tears earlier this year when I learned that they were both getting transferred to different schools next year. About half and hour in, and in the midst of a great chat, a nurse came running over a blabbed some super fast Japanese. Bless her heart, Maruyama-sensei translated that all the doctors (as in all twelve) were about to do rounds and I was required to be in my bed. This being the first I had ever heard of this I was quite shocked, but my friends cut our chat short and took their leave.

I raced to my bed, hopped out of the wheel chair and manoeuvred into the iron frame. Then I did what I seem to do the best at this hospital, wait. After the passage of a few minutes my room suddenly became a sea of white. I say there were twelve doctors, but in all honesty it was hard to tell where one doctor became the next. The chief doctor, and a good English speaker, Akizuki-sensei led the pack. After a few words with my room mate it was on to me. He first asked how I felt, to which I answered fine. Then he picked up my leg and wiggled it a bit, following up with a question on my impressions of Japanese hospitals. First off I could tell he was showing off his English in front of the other doctors, and secondly I could tell he had pre-expected answers to his questions. When I told him that it was a beautiful hospital with good doctors, he seemed pleased. But continuing with my impression that the hospitalization process in Canada was better, he got a little agitated. I forget what he said next, but as swift as it flowed in, the wave of white coats washed out the door. The whole process took under a minute, leaving me angry that I had to return to my bed for such trivial questions and that my friends started a long drive home because of a sixty second check up.

Soon after, Yuriko showed up. She and I set off to get more change for the bottomless (and apparently pointless) clothes dryer. Utterly aggravated by the hurry up and wait for a freaking pointless check up, I was on the war path. It was then, as I walked past the front desk that they informed me that I had a six o'clock shower slot. Six is dinner time, as I informed them. They told me I could eat first the shower, and it was just then that I looked at the clock and realized that it was now five. The nuclear phase of my war path was completed.

Even Yuriko's carafe of coffee couldn't calm my nerves. Kenan mentioned Kafka in his comment to my previous post, and to be honest I have been feeling the same. With the apparently lack of a daily schedule, the sudden appointments, and the complete lack of control over my time, I was really close to meltdown. The lack of effort in communication by many nurses and the prison like life style were running their course on me. I no longer felt that my life was even mine. Before my hospital stay, the doctors had translated the patient contract verbally for me, and I stamped my approval on the Japanese document. Did they forget to mention these things? Or perhaps they didn't even translate what I stamped, but I authorized it never the less.

Yuriko has been so supportive, and she listened to me list my grievances. It was then that she pulled out a pen and some paper and we started making a list. In the end it came to a few major points. I need to know the daily schedule so that I can plan when to do my errands. I need the nurses to read me the food menu (all in Kanji) so I can actually choose between meal A and B, and understand what it is that I am ordering. There were some other points as well, but the one the held the most importance was schedule. I needed to know that they had a schedule, because I was very afraid of the consequences of they didn't.

I ate dinner, and went to the shower. Yuriko and I planned that she would talk to the staff while I was cleaning, and that the two of us and a nurse would sit down after and talk through the solutions to the problems I was having. As I was getting ready to wash there was a knock on the changing room door. It was Patronizing Nurse (PN) again. I let her in, as I still had pants on, and she handed me a schedule with food times, and blanks for me to write in the times that physio and I decided. I couldn't believe it. I explained to her that those times were the same everyday, and I had already figured those out. The times of other things like rounds, and what check-ups will be done that day (and when) was what I was looking for. She spurted unintelligible Japanese. When I told her I didn't understand she repeated herself, or said something else equally mystifying. That dumb show proceeded, as I got more and more frustrated. I finally broke into English and explained that: she understands simple English, but if I speak very quickly using complex words and grammar that there is no chance she will ever understand what I am saying, and that they exact reverse of that is what was currently taking place. I stopped and asked in Japanese if she understood. When she said 'no,' I said 'exactly.' It was then that I pushed her out the door, and reiterated that she could talk with Yuriko and I after my shower.

Physically refreshed, I put on some clean clothes and my game face. It was time for showdown in the lounge Monday Night Edition. She came and sat down, but nothing was getting through. At first she couldn't comprehend what I meant by daily routine (even with Yuriko translating), and when she finally did she insisted that no such thing existed. I stood up and announced that if that was the case that I was removing myself from their care, or the quite obvious lack-there-of. Yuriko said something different in Japanese to calm PN down. (I think the fact that it was PN made it all the worse for me.)

After Yuriko explained what I meant by schedule in a few different ways, the nurse said that I must have received a colourful piece of paper that explained all this. I carry every paper I got from the hospital in a shoulder bag (good old A type) and I pulled out the folder. They are all white. I started pulling them all out and we finally came to a white piece of paper that gives the roughest sketch of what will happen over the course of a month. Needless to say it is all in Japanese, but I went to the effort of translating it with my English teachers.

I opened it up, she beamed that it was the right paper, and the smile was instantly shoved back to the pit of her stomach as I lashed out again that it wasn't good enough since there were no specifics as to date and time, and that it was a farce since certain things (like getting cleaned) were not happening. I wanted a schedule that was on a daily level, and it would be best if there were estimated times, but I would settle for morning/afternoon/evening, and hell even just knowing what the day had in-store even if there was no associated time. I didn't need it then, but just being informed of the daily schedule in the mornings would be enough for me. She tried to explain that it was simply impossible, as the nurses in the morning don't know what will happen because the doctor's haven't decided what will happen that day. When I asked to be informed when they schedule was created, she also thought that was impossible. It got to the point where Yuriko finally stopped me, and told the nurse to get a doctor.

The doctor came, and I spared him none of my wrath. I was polite (mostly), but forceful. He was gracious, and actually quite understanding. He told me that they all understood that they didn't know how to help me the best way, since my cultural background is so much different. He listened to what I had to say, and he finally had a chat with the nurse.

After he left, she opened my folder, and started reading through the schedule inside. She told me when I get needles, and when I pee in a cup. She told me of X-rays and MRIs. She taught me when the doctors do rounds, and for which of those I have to be in my room. In the end, I had a schedule that, while not complete, was a framework to plan my life a bit. I pleaded to be informed of anything that gets added. There was a bloody schedule all along! Why was it so difficult for them to tell me that? And why did she say that it didn't exist? Argh.

In the end, she pulled out a form that was the nursing staff's “care form” for me. It listed the major points that they were trying to ensure, including being better with communication and asking to use my dictionary (things that came from a previous scuffle that Yuriko helped me with), and also the standards of making risk assessments and making sure I don't fall or get injured. I thanked her, as it was nice to know that they had a document like that. She then turned it around and asked me to sing the bottom. I stated I wasn't singling another damn form in Japanese because that has caused me enough grief already. She was about to argue, so I took the paper and wrote “NO.” After an explanation by Yuriko, she put the thing in an online translator that came back with some weird kind of pseudo-English. It doesn't make that much sense, but I singed it, cause hey it doesn't make sense so it doesn't mean anything.

After the whole ordeal, my torn ACL buddy Koyasu-san came over. Somehow we got going on why I was so irritated, and I got into how I was reminded of Kafka. That started it. The three of us were grabbing for the electronic dictionary and it turned into an hour long chat about life and philosophy. Even though we were translating to each other, we had a really meaning full chat, and I felt remarkably better. But I was left with another thought: how could we talk in two different languages about existentialism, metaphysics, and other complex topics so easily, but the nursing staff seems unable to get anything across to me?

Day 8

Today was smooth sailing. I got my original room and window spot back. I went to physio twice, and I can tell that my leg is stronger every time I go.

There is only one thing that troubled me today. A decent night's sleep has evaded me since coming to the hospital, but this was something different. I have woken up a sweat a few times, and just passed it off on my post-op fever. Last night however, I distinctly remember a rather strange dream. It is not so much a nightmare, bad dream, or scary dream, as much as it is simply disturbing. I remember it thoroughly, but awake I don't understand why it disturbs me so. What really gets me, is that when I awoke remembering this dream, I also realized that I have had this dream repeatedly in the last few nights.

It has nothing do do with hospitals or doctors, but rather trains. It is very bizarre, and I must spend more time contemplating it. There must be some connection to the hospital stay and the events in the dream. I'll think more on it, and hopefully I won't experience it again tonight...but if I do that will just make contemplating it easier.

Kenan, you told me not to cut my posts short, and this is far from it. I breached page five, it is well past lights out, and the nurses let me stay in the lounge to write. Now I have to pee...and to be honest I don't know how much more I could write tonight. I hope you all enjoyed reading the insanity that is currently my life.

Day 6 (& 3, 4, 5)

2007-03-26T08:46:00.000+09:00

So I haven't exactly kept up with actually writing everyday, but I will give you the gist of what happened each day. I'll start with day 3, the big day.

Day 3 – D-Day

I was woken up slightly before 6am. Craving coffee, all I received was an enema. In the end I guess they accomplish the same, but it is just so much easier to enjoy a nice cup of joe. After that I received a nice bagged breakfast, that was inserted into my arm. In fact, every meal that day was fed the same way...one after the next after the next.

I was rudely informed that my goatee would have to go. No amount of logical argument seemed to get through, so in the end I just had to go with it. Since nobody saw it fitting to inform me of this prior to D-Day, I hadn't brought my beard trimmer...and my goatee was gettin' shaggy. I asked it they had something I could trim with, and they said no, spawning a new round of arguments. Anyone who has ever had to shave a moderate length, bushed out beard will know the pain involved. I asked if they had scissors, and my request was granted with a pair of paper cutting snips. I was thoroughly unimpressed. I asked if they had a thinner pair of scissors with a point. After initially saying no (and my ensuing response that there was no way I was getting surgery if they were using a pair of paper scissors on me), I finally received a pair of surgical sheers. I trimmed my beard short, and tried not to shed a tear as I took the final swipes of the razor.

Next battle. Noon. The surgeon came to me earlier in the day and told me that I would be going in around two or three in the afternoon. It was shortly after noon that a nurse (unfortunately for her, I remembered she was the one who dropped the beard news) came to my room and asked me to get into what I call “rikishi” pants. Rikishi are the contestants in sumo, and “pantsu” is underwear in Japanese. These gonch are a cross between a fig leaf, a thong, pacific islander garb, and sumo...things. I informed the nurse that the doctor said between two and three, and I would put them on closer to the time. That wasn't good enough for her, I told her I would as soon as I was done working on the computer. When she came back in half an hour and they were still on the bed, she freaked. I resisted, but she was getting close to thermonuclear, so after she left (and against my wishes) I put them on. When she came back in another twenty minutes and said that the doctor called and that they were very busy and behind schedule and I might not be in until four or five, I gave her a look that would freeze the sun (on a side note, she is kinda cute, but talks to all the patients in this patronizing tone that makes me want to wring her neck.)

Quarter to five rolled around, and they tossed me on a stretcher. It was into the elevator, and down to op-level. Through the corridors (of which I have committed the ceilings to memory) and into the OR. The anaesthesiologist was first up, and he proceeded to iodine my spine, and then insert a tube into it. The nurses were laughing as he was doing his best with minimal English and I was only speaking Japanese. Then it was time for the arm restraints, and then the gas. I made everyone laugh with my final comment of “itterashai” which you say when someone leaves the room or house.

I woke up like a bat outta hell, and they quickly pulled the tubes out of my throat. I was instantly aware and fully understood where I was and what had happened. The first thing I did was feel my leg. Cast. One month.

Before rushing out the door, I had a chance to read the timers in the room. Almost three hours under, and almost two for the surgery. Then it was down the hallway, of which I still remembered the ceiling, and up to the sixth floor recovery room. The head doc met me there and explained the deal. My ACL had fused to the PCL, a good thing, but it was about 2/3 torn and they felt that it would provide insufficient stability. So it was full reconstruction. Then the surgeon came in and told me they were surprised at how stiff Canadian knees are in comparison to Japanese knees. I told him because they all sit on their knees, and then told him how bad that is for your knees (berating the knee doctor, ha.) He laughed, and said that they all had discussed that and they completely agreed.

Then I passed out in a restless sleep. I sweated the night away, completely unaware of how much time had passed in the dark recovery room. Various things happened, and various medicines were administered (in various ways...I still couldn't eat). But the worst of it was all coming to an end, and I was slowly getting strength back.

Day 4 and 5

Were pretty much the same. I had some visitors, and I was up and at it. I was (and still am) running a fever, but I wasn't letting that slow me down. I was whippin 360s in my wheel chair, and having a good time. The bathroom was a little difficult, but hey I had a cast before, and these toilets automatically raise the lid and have a button for the seat (as well as many features for the butt cleaning sprayers). Day four my night class student and friend Yuriko (my saviour, she brought me here, and has come everyday except surgery day)came with a big carafe of coffee. Then as I was trying to figure out what to do with my evening, my friend and co-worker Takayama-sensei came to visit. He is one of the nicest people at Kosha, and I am pleased to call him my friend.

Day five hit a few snags as the internet in my new bed didn't work. I was in the same room, but lost the window to Hori-san. Hori-san is a great guy with a couple of really cute kids. He has a pretty awful hernia and crawls to the toilet. He has a portable DVD player that gets TV, but only on the window side. I couldn't hold it against him that he jacked my spot. But never the less my internet was down...I had already purchased time, and part of the reason for paying for a pair room is the internet. Well five hours and three technicians later, the high tech solution was to use Hori's internet port (which was not a very good soultion for a variety of reasons) or to move to an other room (which I had already turned down because it is much narrower, and I am paying the highest rate). In the end, and I say this leaving a lot of tense discussion with the nursing staff, I moved rooms. Nobody was happy in the end.

Day 6

I woke up, and finally got a chance to call Mum (I spell it Mom, but at her instance Ill go with the u). It's here birthday here today, and by the time I post this, probably there too. She was rushing out to the ballet with a friend, so we were brief. I got a little bit of the support I needed, and she got a little bit of the piece of mind that she needed. I was going to call back later to talk to my sis, but things happened pretty fast.

I was called into the working room, and low and behold my cast was cut in half. Physio starts tomorrow, and I get to wear my one hundred fifty thousand yen knee brace. Then the doc came in and pulled the tube that was inserted in my spine on D-Day. I had been carrying around a little bag that had a condom like thing slowly dispensing pain killer to my leg, and a button for a big hit of pain killer. It was pardon the pun a real pain. I accidentally spilt coffee on it, and pissed on in, as well as various other mishaps...like saying how amazing it was that I had no pain in my knee, until I realized I was sitting on the button. It was gone. Yeehaw.

Then my word shook. Or rather the central portion of Japan shook. There was a magnitude 7.1 earthquake of the west cost of Japan. It clocked in at about a 5 here in Nagano, and caused the sixth floor to go swinging back and forth pretty far for the better part of what felt like two minutes. I was so happy...my first big earthquake in Japan. I was on the internet and I was instantly googling to see where and how big it was. I got the news about twenty seconds before the TV. There have been a few aftershocks, one major enough to shake us for another thirty seconds. Talk about excitement. You can't pay for fun like that! Or maybe only people who studied a lot of geography get that excited by the release of subductional friction.

This line just broke onto the third page of my word processor, and I know that I am reaching the limit of some readers attention. Also I want to go pee and get a coffee. From here on, it's up on my feet for part of the day, and wheeling around the rest. Soon enough it's all me (and the crutches). Here I go!

Day 2

2007-03-21T22:29:00.000+09:00

***WARNING this post contains frank discussions that my be disgusting to some readers. If you read it don't complain to me. If you complain to me...well I really just don't care.***

The second day, of a yet undetermined number, is coming to an end. This day has seen a little action and an attempt at battling anxiety. Let's take a little chronological walk through the highlights.

Twenty after five in the morning I was curtly awakened (I hesitate to say rude as it was not so much rude, but simple and to the point). Now that time of the morning is usually reserved for one of two things: sleeping, or still partying from the previous day. As I was not partying, inertia dictated that I was to remain sleeping. When she said she was going to do a blood test, I mumbled something and held out my arm. Well, I woke up pretty quick when I realized what was actually happening. Good thing I am not afraid of needles, but to be honest it didn't really hurt. She left; I kept sleeping.

One hour after my previous awakening, I was drawn back to consciousness again. This time for a temperature and blood pressure check. Since breakfast was soon, and I wanted a shower and coffee, I dragged my ass outta bed. The view out the window was stunning, as the sun rose to begin it's near perfect twelve hour trek across the heavens.

Breakfast was mediocre. Menus are created in three day spans, and I wasn't here to sign up for the “bread” meal. On a side note, a common, and ridiculous, question from Japanese people is “Which do you like rice or bread?” Which is usually followed (without waiting for an answer) by some statement about how Japanese people like rice but Americans (read: Westerners...god I hate that) like bread so much. I usually tell them that in THE WEST (stress not America) people like many things, and that saying you like rice or bread is a strange idea, as you can like both. This concept is usually not understood, as how is it possible to like both the same (sometimes I say I like noodles just to screw with them). This morning with the breakfast lady was no different. She handed me the Japanese style breakfast (fish, rice, miso soup, some veggies) and said that next time the bread breakfast would probably be better wouldn't it. I launched into the aforementioned spiel, and the results were standard. To be honest, the bread breakfast is usually more appealing, not because I don't like rice, but because it comes with eggs and fruit not fish and soup.

Twenty to nine and it was time for a trip to physio. They did the final pre-op tests and checks on my leg. As usual I was cracking jokes and getting the staff to enjoy their job a little more. All went well, and I was back in my room by half past nine. Which is when I realized that I might become a record setter in the ward.

Two in the afternoon yesterday until two in the afternoon today was my chance to be a champion. This is nothing spectacular, and everything short of it. Really this is nothing to write home about, but screw you all, I'm going to anyway. For the said twenty four hour period I had to collect all my urine. They provided me with a graded cup and bucket like pitcher. Last night I amused myself comparing how much my bladder held until I had to pee. It ranged from two hundred fifty to three hundred millilitres. Not bad, that's a can of pop right there. This morning I was a little more sensitive and I was only getting out about one hundred fifty millilitres. That was till I hit the mother load and almost overfilled the cup at a whopping four hundred millilitres. I will stop talking about my pee in a second, but first to my record. I could have squeezed in (or is that out?) one more time, but I lost track of time. However, in the end I wound up with a whopping record setting three litres of pee, so much so that I had to get a second bucket to hold it all. Thank you one litre nalgene bottle and travel coffee mug, I couldn't have done it with out you. (speaking of which: pee break)

Before my pissing contest ended, five of my night class students (the gals) came to visit. They brought lunch and came just as I got my plate of non-memorable food. We chatted it up and had a right old time in the lounge. They brought me some very nice flowers, and one of the girls lent me a book (Kafka on the Shore). It was a great break to a potentially boring day.

After they left I had coffee with a friend I made in the ward, and his friend. We are the ACL club.
Koyasu-san (who lives one town over) is in for his second knee, and the other gentleman (an elementary school teacher) is in for a tear he did over ten years ago. Talking with them had made me feel much better about the whole process. They have not only gone through it, and can thus understand my anxieties, but they have also gone through it with the doctors and staff that I will. Their (and others') insistence that this department is famous is echoed by the fact that there are patients from far away who come here for the doctors skill. I am resting a little more assured with both that knowledge and also with the fact that I have a few friends who truly understand. I know that Koyasu-san and I are going to be friends after this is all over. There isn't a chance he will let that not happen.

Nine in the evening came, and I had to stop eating and drinking. With the surgery and general anaesthetic tomorrow I had to go on the Hollywood diet (way more effective than South Beach). I wolfed down dinner, with hopes it would pass in the same fashion it was consumed. You see (children stop reading) what ever doesn't make it out on it's own accord by six tomorrow morning is getting flushed out. I can't even think of something sarcastic enough to write here, that's how happy I am about that.

Shortly after my...internal shower...I will receive breakfast...internally...or intravenously I should say. Lunch will be the same. Almost as good as this evenings Hollywood diet, but still one calorie is one too many, right Paris? When the clock strikes two, or maybe three, tomorrow afternoon, it will be time to head on down to the OR. The diagnostic procedure will take about fifteen minutes. If they go ahead with the full meal deal, it will be about an hour and a half. After that it's the recovery room and most likely feeling pretty ill.

I can write that all, but I don't know if I really have my head around it all. I am not really nervous, or all that anxious...which leads me to believe it hasn't sunk in yet or that I have more control over my fears than I though (or that I am an android incapable of feelings, but that miraculously has knee ligaments). Whatever the situation, I go under tomorrow. I may not get around to writing a day three post, and I can guarantee if I do write it I won't be posting it tomorrow. This is long however, so enjoy it; read it again; read some old posts; or do whatever it is you do when you are not computing the letters that spell the story of my life in Japan. Until I post again: I love you all, see ya on the other side.

Day 1

2007-03-21T15:36:00.000+09:00

So this is they way it is going to be. I will try to write a journal everyday, and post them whenever I can. That is easier than I thought it would be, as there is a LAN port right beside my bed, but the real question is expense. I have to buy prepaid cards for the TV and the internet. The room itself is more expensive than the base rate as well. I had originally opted for the standard 4 person room, as that style incurs no extra costs. However after much deliberation, and talking through it with many people, I decided that I didn't want to be in a room with 3 geriatric Japanese people who don't know English, and speak the very hard to understand 'old person Japanese' (mumbling mixed with words I don't understand). So I upgraded.

Thirty one bucks a day, on top of all the other costs, gets me a spot in a 2 person room. This room itself is currently occupied by me, myself, and I. I chose the window side bed, as I can open them up for a breeze, and it is brighter than the other side. The bed is hard and narrow...I'm pleased about the former, less so about the latter. The real selling point on my room is the windows. They are very large and they have a spectacular view of the foot hills to the east. The mountains are about a kilometre away, and are quite beautiful. Definitely more beautiful than the parking lot immediately below my window.

The hospital is in the finishing stages of being redone. I am fortunate enough to be in the new tower on the sixth floor. The entire ward is bright and clean, the only down side is, being Japan, there is a tea dispenser but there is no coffee. For that I have to go to the first floor and buy a freaking tiny little cup...or an infamous Japanese can of coffee.

So far today, I have had my piss and blood checked again (third time). I waited. And some more. Saw one doc, saw the other, was admitted and shown my room. Then I had the same conversation about allergies, medicine, and health with at least 3 nurses. I got lunch. I waited I spoke to the anaesthesiologist. I went to get another MRI done (third time). I waited. They took the MRI. I went to the x-ray area. I waited. They took the x-rays. And that was it.

I came back to my room. After all the waiting in the hospital over the last few months, I have really come to hate just sitting around waiting for some other test or talk...but I now have a new appreciation for the waiting. You see, I am currently sitting on my bed, I have nothing to do, and nothing planned for later...so technically I am not waiting...just sitting around bored as hell at 4 in the afternoon. To be honest I would rather be waiting...at least then you feel that there is a purpose to your boredom. I can fake it a bit and say that I am waiting for dinner, or further even for my operation, but those feel like cheating. I am not waiting around in the hospital for once, and how I wish I was.

First things changed

2007-03-13T16:51:00.000+09:00

...and then they changed again. It's from a Tom Petty song, but it may as well be my theme song.

If you have kept current on my blog you will know that I received some really good news the other week regarding the doctors plans to start with orhtoscopic diagnostic surgery. The plan was to freeze me from waist down and stick the camera in my knee, and decide whether the reconstruction surgery is needed. If it is required, we were going to wait a month and then proceed with the real meal deal.

Well not much has changed except all that matters. After my previous meeting I started to change all my plans. The sitter for my cat, not canceling my gym membership, school schedules, even all the preparations for a month in the hospital. This took considerable work but was enjoyable as the chance to not undergo ACL reconstruction gave me some hope.

I went back to the hospital last Friday. After hours of drawing blood, snapping x-rays, doing ECGs, and other preparations for surgery, I sat down with the doctor again. The three main doctors who are working on me sat down prior to that appointment and discussed my situation. They created a revised plan.

I am now going in to the hospital on the 20th. I will have 2 days of observation before they operate under general anesthetic. They will proceed as planned with the diagnostic surgery, however this is where the scenario changes. They decided that it is best, if determined that I require reconstruction surgery, to continue on at that point and do the entire surgery.

Now, there is no doubt in my mind, that if the surgery is required that I will get it done. That is not an issue. Hell, even doing the surgery as a continuation makes sense to me. That is about as far as I get in understanding this situation.

What I have not been able to get my head around is why it changed and changed again. It seems like I was offered a false hope, on which I proceeded to (as I do) plan the next large chunk of time. I have a lot on my plate, but I managed to turn everything around to the new plan, but now it has gone back to the original...sort of. And I am at a loss. I have to do full preparations for both possible outcomes, and in the 12 days between learning about the new new plan and the surgery I have very little free time. That is really just the stress though (and not to down play it as it really is a lot of fucking stress), the worst part is the anxiety.

If you haven't put the pieces together yourself yet, let me do it with you. I will go in on the 20th. I will go under on the 22nd. I will wake up on the 22nd and learn what they have done to my knee, and whether I am in the hospital for a week or a month, and whether I need only medication or a years worth of rehab. Pretty much I know nothing, and that isn't going to change. Some of my friends here don't seem to understand that that causes a lot of angst for me. However, anyone who truly understands my personality also understands that I don't do very well with uncertainty. I like schedules (as precise as possible most of the time), organizing, and preparing far in advance. So 3 days ago I found out that 9 days from now my entire life is a big question mark.

So I am trying to hold myself together as everything is up in the air. I don't want to experience the moment, but since I must I just wish the waiting to be over, when I wake up (groggy from the sleepy juice) and see whether I have a cast on my leg or not.

Cast = 1 month. No cast = 1 week.

That equation is my life for the next 9 days, and all I wish is that I could forget about it till then.

If anyone is familiar with Kafka, I think I understand on a very personal level some of the feelings he had. A total lack of control juxtaposed with the power that the doctors have over my life and schedule. I feel very powerless over something which I am used to having full control.

I thought we had moved past this...

2007-03-03T11:28:00.000+09:00

read me and share this info

...but I now see the true hypocrisy of the American War Machine. It is unbelievable to me that these flimsy excuses are not only still being used, but also seem to hold some sort of clout with the public. How in whatever-(if any)-deity-you-believe-in's-name does this encourage countries like the North Korea and Iran t0 pursue less aggressive stances? In the name of sheer defence of their own national sovereignty, I can understand why these nations would pursue their own nuclear arsenal. We have already seen a drastic change in the respect that North Korea has gotten since they joined the Atomic Club. I really wonder what definition of nonproliferation is being considered.

World War 2 was a spectator sport of appeasement for a considerable time. How long until we recognize the aggressive stance that the USA is taking towards the rest of the world as the possible spark in the very dry brush pile? How long until someone (and really who can do it?) stands up and makes the States accountable under the Nuclear Nonproliferation and Disarmament Treaty? It seems to me like someone has made the bully in to the Hall-monitor, and it's only a matter of time until someone starts something serious.

The future of the World has always been uncertain, but the uncertainty now seems to be what will get us first climate change or war. I for one, feel these two are inexorably linked.

A view from the top

2007-02-20T23:20:00.000+09:00

It is hard to believe that March is already here. Things at school have been so busy lately that it has been quite hard keeping track of time. Weeks cruise by obscuring the true amount of this year that has already passed.

The Cd project I have been working on at Kosha is completely done. The CDs have been burnt with audio, and printed with the top design. The jacket inserts have been designed, printed, cropped, and folded. The copyright logo stickers have been attached to the inserts. They are stacked and waiting to be handed out. Everyone at Kosha is quite impressed, and to be honest I even impressed myself. They look really sweet. I hope that I get the same project next year. More so since I know the programs better (since most were in Japanese) and I have better ideas for the design.

On other school news, four of my graduating students have been accepted into the intensive English program at the high level academic high school in town. I am really proud of them, especially the two who I helped with the English interview. They each spent about 10 hours outside of class to practice listening and answering interview questions. They worked really hard, and I know that after all the hard work they will put in at Nakano Nishi that they will be on a good start towards their dreams. Manami wants to be an English teacher, and Hanami wants to be a flight attendant.

Well winter has turned out to be a beautiful spring here in Nagano. It is really quite sad. One 65 year old man in the English Night Class loves to ski. He has lived his whole life here in the mountains, and he can't recall a winter like this. Ever. Scary. Aside from the greater implications (which I only leave aside since I know I will write for way to long if I do), the local ski hill are a few weeks away from being prime pick-nick spots. The whole world seems to be focused on the issue of Climate Change. Let's hope, for the sake of the future, that this is not just a passing trend.

persuade The beautiful weather made for a really neat adventure a few weeks ago. My friends Jun, Ken, and TB (Tatsubon) are all backcountry snowboard guides and pro riders. Cool ass cats, who just happened to meet while they were all living in Vancouver. It was a Saturday morning, and Jun rang me up. There was no new snow, and Jun knew I wasn't going to waste my time driving to Nozawaonsen for no snow. He said he was going to hike to the top of Mt. Kosha (my school's namesake). He invited me along, so I borrowed some snowshoes (which we really didn't need) and headed to the mountain. We started at the bottom of a ski hill, and took their lifts as far as they went. From there it was boards on our backs and snowshoes on our feet. With avi-beacons (completely not needed) and telescopic poles we were all geared up. This was mostly for show. Jun likes to promote his sponsors, and also he feels a professional responsibility to visually beginners from attempting to follow. The gear actually works well for that.

We started up a path to the top of the mountain. The snow was not very deep, but that made it very bushy. For comparisons sake, Jun pointed out a 3 to 4 metre rock, and said that he has never seen that rock in the winter before. There is a good 12 feet of snow that is just not there. At one point we passed a tori gate, this is due to the fact that there are two shrines at the peak.

We bagged the peak in about 35 min, and set up shop. Jun pulled out a mini MSR stove (free sponsor swag, along with almost everything else) and we boiled some water for cup noodles. Never before has so disgusting a meal tasted so good. More than that, the view was simply spectacular. I live my life in the valley surrounded by impressive mountains, but at that moment I was up there looking down on the valleys. I was sure if we were on a higher mountain we could have seen the sea. It was truly spectacular.

After packing up, and saying a prayer at the shrines, we checked out the ski hills on the other faces of the mountains. Normally you can board from the peak to one of the other hills, but there wasn't enough snow, and way to many bushes. So it was back down the path to the ski hill. This day provided me with another pure Japan moment that I will never forget. I will post pictures on my pic site. Check 'em out.

The Leg Report:
Saw the head doc last week. He felt my knee with the other docs. They were very surprised at how much stronger my leg has become. They now feel that I may not need full reconstruction surgery on my ACL. There is still a chance, but the most likely method now is a medicinal treatment that will cause my ACL to adhere to my PCL (which my have already started). In order to determine the course of action, I will still be going in for surgery, however this will be exploratory. I will have 'spinal anesthesia' (sounds so freaking scary) and then they will put a camera in my knee. Yummy. After a little less than a week I will be sent home. If I need the big deal, then I have to wait a month to spend my month there. That being said, they seem quite hopeful that I will not require the full ACL surgery. I am not getting my hopes up, but this is a turn for the better.

On a sad note:
An ambulance rolled up to my neighbours house this morning. After school today there were sings and lanterns out in front of the house. I asked around, and that is the traditional marker for when a member of the house has passed away. Since I have seen both Mrs. and Mr. Tanaka, that only leaves there mentally-disabled daughter, who I believe to be in her 30s or 40s. I don't know the details, but after seeking advice from my English teachers, I will take some flowers to Mrs. Tanaka tomorrow. She is a sweet old lady, who is always friendly as she slaves in her back yard farm. She looks after Kuno when she is out, and she brings me fruits and vegetables when ever I tell her I am having a party. Please take a moment and give a thought to a lady who I don't really know, but means a lot to me.

New Year, new stuff, new-s

2007-01-24T19:38:00.000+09:00

I am procrastinating on doing the dishes, as my kitchen is quite cold these days, and I figured it was a good time to stop procrastinating on my blog.

Here to start the New Year is a bit of change to the layout of things. There is my fun new comment spot below my photo, and there is a new link. Yes, you read that correctly, it is a link to my online photos. I finally got over the fact that google can use my images with out asking, well not really over it, but resigned. So yeah, check out the photos, and hopefully that and my little comment box will keep me more entertained on this site.

Things here have been pretty good lately. I have recently started letting Kuno outside for extended periods of time. Her behaivour has greatly improved, and it gives me a chance to move quickly around the house without her always underfoot. She also has new cat furniture, including another freaking thing to climb on, and an electric hot pad bed. It is cold, and when I'm gone to work I feel sorry for her.

Speaking of work, things are busier than they have ever been. I am back up to a minimum of 20 classes a week (in a schedule of about 25 classes a week). That is more than most of the Japanese English Teachers at my school. I take it as a sing that they respect my performance and ideas in the classroom, but it comes on top of other growing duties at the school. I have pretty much become the computer guru, which is quite amusing. The computer club sponsor/network administrator now comes to me and asks me about things; Maruyama-sensei has had me do a number of projects for her, including the current one of assisting her in making a grad CD. They have collected the rights to some songs and are planning on burning a CD for all the staff and graduating students. I am really managing what they want, as well as doing all the imaging for the CD case and the face of the CD itself. That is actually quite interesting. One of the teachers has a new printer which is capable of printing on back of most new CDs. That being said, it is a brand new machine, and of course, I was enlisted to set it all up and make it start working properly. I am glad that I am there though, because I don't think it would get done at the magnitude that Maruyama-sensei wants if I wasn't. They just don't have the skills or the time to acquire them.

Other than that, it is just the same old of always wanting more hours in the day, and invariably needing more hours at night. On that note I should probably stop procrastinating on the dishes, so I can then make some food, since my stomach says it's dinner time and the clock says 8:30. Ugh the TV tells me it's -4 outside, that make it -3.9 in my kitchen.

Fire me a comment or good old fashioned e-mail (do you remember the days before blogs and myspace, that's almost as far back as when people were buying CDs). Check out my photos.

So it snowed...

2006-11-29T00:50:00.000+09:00

you lucky bastards! It hasn't come down yet in town. Whether (weather?) or not you love it or hate is, enjoy a taste of the winter as it is for me.

Build a snowman or ten for me...or a Kamakura, aka snowfort...well really more of an igloo. Also enjoy semi-unreasonably priced christmas lights...as compared to the insanely unreasonably priced ones here. $80 for 3 metres. ugh. I'll stay dark for now.

Speaking of what's his name's (Santa right?) birthday, I'll be home for Christmas. Not as long as I was in summer, but back never the less. I'll have to make sure to buy cheep-ass boxing day lights to bring back to Japan. I can also enjoy not having to explain Boxing Day to anyone either...neither the Japanese nor the Americans really get it...but then again to any Canadians really understand it either? I should probably spend my time brushing up on my own culture, too eh?

Well for more deep thoughts from the shallow end tune in sometime in the future.

It's long, and long awaited

2006-11-22T11:53:00.000+09:00

Well hello everyone who still checks this site from time to time. I know it has been a horribly long time since I have updated this. I have given you pretty much nothing new since I came back to Japan. Well hopefully some people still check because there’s a lot to tell. I mean a lot. You might want to read this in installments. And I refuse to write a table of contents, although I probably should.

My second year has been surprisingly different from my first year. As was to be expected there was not so much adjustment as with my initial arrival in Japan. That being said, there have been some marked changes that have changed the routine of my life here.

First off is the big one, the reason I am even here: work. This year the city cut back from four AETs (Assistant English Teachers) to three. That doesn’t seem too ground shaking, but when you consider that there are four junior high schools, it makes a big difference. This year we are on a two month routine. Of every eight weeks, we each spend six at our base school (Kosha for me) and the other two weeks are at Nakano Daira JHS. The loss of Devin has also meant that there are more elementary schools to visit. So now I have four elementary schools. This indeed makes for a lot of running around, and even more time spent doing preparations for various classes. It’s enough to make me feel a little lost sometimes.

Besides the musical schools routine, school life has been really good this year. At Kosha I am starting to feel like a real teacher, not just the foreigner on a working holiday. I was asked to coach a student on an English speech, I helped train a class for a group skip rope competition at the school festival (my area of expertise don’t you know), and I have given the go ahead to start implementing some of my own ideas on marking and running class. It really feels wonderful. I think the teachers all look at me a little differently now. The English teachers have always liked me, but now I feel like I get respect from all the other teachers.

Outside of school things have not been anymore hectic. That isn’t to say I haven’t had plenty of free time, it’s just that it has been less abundant this fall. The main reason for this is that on top of the Tuesday night class Brandon and I teach, I am also teaching a Thursday beginner class at a different community centre. This class has been both a source of frustration and joy.

To start, I wanted a night class for ‘Beginner Conversation’ not ‘Beginner English.’ The purpose of the course is Eikaiwa (or English conversation). When asked to start the course I firmly stated that everyone must have a basic grasp of English, something I feel is a necessity for conversation. Well something was lost in that world called translation, and it was marketed as a beginner basics class. To compound the problems, half of the students are or have been regulars at the other night class. They speak wonderful English, and I could really help them excel. The others are pretty much beginners. I had one old bastard complain 3 times to the community hall that the class was too hard. I was teaching ‘I am’ and ‘You are’…I can see how very confusing that can be. Ha! So in the end is was just a matter of getting into a routine and making a curriculum that is fun review for the advanced speakers and not over the top difficult for the beginners. To my joy, the old fart dropped out, but didn’t tell anyone so I continued to teach really basic stuff for three more weeks until I gave up on him. Good riddance to…well you get the picture.

When I am not going half mad trying to find and create activities for a night class or elementary school, I have been making a real effort to go to the gym. A year ago a big new fitness centre went up right near my house. It is beautiful. There is a weight room with machines, free weights, and a thwack of cardio gear. There’s an aerobics studio, and here’s the kicker: there is a pool! I have been trying to get in 2 or 3 days a week and I have been pretty good about it. It is hard to procrastinate about going when the monthly fee is upwards of $80 CDN. Yeah you read that right. Thank whatever deity you believe in that my job pays well. I have lost a few kilos, namely the ones I put on last year, and I feel less like a…tatami potato.

There have been some changes in my social life this year as well. Brandon and Rich both have girlfriends now. Riches gal lives close by, but Brandon’s is from Chiba (out past Tokyo). That should say she was from Chiba. She now lives next door with Brandon. All this has lead to me seeing my friends less, so I have started hanging out with my Japanese friends more. Now the main dudes are Jun, Ken, and Tatsubon. They are the coolest Japanese people ever. They run a back country snowboarding company, they are friends with all the Japanese pro boarders, and they all met in Gastown while they were living in Canada a number of years back. They all have a good command over English. They tell me that they learned in Canada by hanging out with Canadians, so it’s mostly Japanese when we hangout. And damn, my Japanese is improving. That being said, they are all from Kansai (the region near Osaka and Kyoto) and they speak a regional dialect known as Kansai-ben or Osaka-ben. This is by far the coolest sounding Japanese. Everyone in Japan knows it, and save the Tokyo folks, they all think it’s super cool. Needless to say I am now the weird Gaijin who drops Kansai-ben whenever he can.

My knee. It’s still there, between my ankle and hip. Thankfully my hip doesn’t hurt, but I can’t say the same of my ankle and knee. My ankle is tight and sore often. I try to stretch it out and keep it warm, but winter is just around the corner and the days are too cold to keep it loose. My knees is good most of the time, but I still notice some weakness and pain from time to time. I have been to a third hospital, had another MRI, about 25 more Xrays, and started physio.

This is all lead up for spring break. March is the month, and my knee is the focus. That’s when I make my move into the hospital for a month. That’s right, I’m going under the knife to get a new ACL. It will be made of a piece of my hamstring. If you want the full details ask me, or google it. It’s a little too gory for everyone to hear. After the knife is a week of nothing…not even standing. Hell. I don’t know exactly how I’ll go to the bathroom then, but I am pretty sure I can’t actually go to the bathroom which leaves only one very uncomfortable option. The rest of my stay will be the road to recovery. Daily rehab and strengthening exercises will be my life for a month. And the worst part is this: the hospital is an hour and a half drive from home, and my operation is in the spring stages of the snowboard season. In other words I am pretty sure I am going to have a very lonely month.

Now it’s time for the best news of all. For those of you who stuck it our and read all the way to here, congrats. For those who skipped and skimmed, you are people after my own heart. For those of you who stopped reading a while ago…well I guess it doesn’t matter if I say anything to you or not. Drum roll please…

I got a cat, a kitten actually. She is the most adorable little thing. She is all black, Makuro (jet black) is what my Japanese friends call the colour. She is a native species of Japan…we’re pretty sure…well the Vet is pretty sure. See when I adopted her it was a bit of a strange situation so I don’t really know what bread she is. I had been searching for kittens for a while, but I hadn’t found anything. I tired the humane society (run around) and the newspapers (dogs dogs dogs) but nothing came up. In the end I mentioned it at school, and within a week a student had found a kitten.

She was tiny, and pretty scared. He had found her in a park between the school and his house. Her mom had been living there, but she died shortly after birthing. So I became the proud parent of a little sharp black ball of fur. I mentioned that we think she is a Japanese breed, which is due to the fact that her tail is curly like a pig tail. That being said it is not sensitive, so the Vet thinks it is natural. There is a species of Japanese cat with a strange tail like that, so that’s our best guess.

I called her Taisho SentoNeko Kunoichi. That means General Kunoichi Battlecat. She is the Japanese cousin of Kenan and Sam’s cats, the Canadian Battlecat family. I call her Kuno or Kunoichi, which was the name for female ninjas. Fitting for an all black Japanese female cat, eh? She lives up to the name for sure. She has terrorized my house. The rice paper Shoji doors were shredded, plants have been eaten or beaten, and my bed was the site of a few little box training issues. Well that’s not really fair. She was fully litter trained (kinda) when she came to my house (at like 6 week of age). She just decided to tell me when she felt her litter box was in need of cleaning. She did this by pissing on my bed. Needless to say, she is banished from my bedroom. Sucks for her, but if I have to go to the Laundromat with my comforters again I am going to lose it.

Kuno has made my evenings very exciting. I hang out and play with her. She is psychotic, and one hell of a hunter. She is going to be a great stalker when she can finally go outside in 3 weeks. Although I am not sure she’ll want to be out when the snow starts coming down. She is vaccinated and just needs one last shot and she will be ready for the great big world, and also good to go for a life in Canada. I am making sure to get her all she needs to immigrate when I do. All those Canadian cats better watch out; when Kuno comes to town it is all over!

Well that’s the update. I am sure I have left something out; although I am also sure everyone will be happy if I stop writing soon…or a few paragraphs ago. I apologize for not updating this sooner, and for not staying in touch with people who have been emailing. I will endeavour to be better at updating this site and also replying to emails. Thanks for the email, the parcels, or just the thoughts. Hope all is well back in Once-Again-Did-You-Ever-Doubt-It-Rainy-Vancouver. Boil your water…or something.

kilometre stones (everything must go metric at some point)

2006-09-06T21:01:00.001+09:00

Well it has been some time since I sat down and started writing. This summer has flown past, which I should have expected since this past year also seemed to fly as well. I can hardly believe that I am in the second year of my life in Japan. It was a dream that I managed to realize, and it still feels sureal from time to time. This seems like a fitting time to write some thing deep...but isn't going to happen, I'm just gonna write my usual entertainment magazine quality crap. Hey, at least it free.

Well it has been a year. As I sit here staring at that sentance, I realize that when I read it my mind goes to a million places and memories, but for the life of me there are no word to describe them all. I will attempt to open up that vault and share it with you, but I am unsure if that is even possible.

I think back to a little over a year ago. Last summer, July. That was my last month in Canada, and I was not only trying to prepare to move across an ocean but I was trying to absorb as much of home as I could before setting off on my journey. I felt like the Boy in Paullo Coelho's The Alchemist after he had sold flock to pay for a boat ride across the sea to Africa. He was leaving behind his whole life up to that point, all for one dream. I too felt torn between the life I had created for myself and the dream that I had been holding for so long. On one hand, I was granted an amazing opportunity to not only see Japan, but to live it. On the other hand, I couldn't stop thinking about my family, friends, and all the other parts of life in Vancouver that I love so much. Like the Boy, I had to make that sacrifice. I gave up many things I held very dear, in order to find what was out there, and inside me.

A year later, I cannot help but be amazed at what I have experienced. I would be a big liar if I said that I haven't and don't miss Vancouver. Vancouver is like my model railway. It took me many years to get the little pieces in the right spots, in order to have my life be what I wanted. What really amazes me is that in just one year I have started to arrange another life for myself. In one year, I went from being a fresh-off-the-plane Gaijin with a place to go, but no idea how to get there, or what to do when I did. Now, a little more than one year after first setting foot in Japan, I touched down again. This time was entirely different. I pulled out my phone, called a buncha friends, emailed others, took a train to Tokyo, lockered my luggage, met a friend, headed to his place in Chiba, and drank. The next day I took a bullet train home to Nagano, and got a ride into Nakano from Brandon. Basically it there was nothing out of the ordinary at all.

I also can't help but look at other things in my life, and feel very lucky. I have made some very good friends in Japan. The first few were other ex-pats, but some of the best friends I have made are Japanese people. 3 of my Japanese buddies are sponsored professional snowboarders. They introduced me to the "grandfather of snowboarding in Japan." Moreover, I have thrown two big parties this summer. Now other people in town have had other parties, but none of them has had the amount of mixing and mingling of Japanese and Gaijin. None of them has had so many neighbourhood irritating fireworks. None of them have been so close to my house. I digress.

The point is this: I have been here for one year. A long time by some standards (like compared to the 24 stomach flu), and a short time by other standards (say the geological time scale). When I look back at the year and all the amazing memories I have, I can’t help but feel that whether 1 year is a long or short time, that I have accomplished a hell of a lot. I can't wait to see where I get to this year.

A big thank you goes out to everyone who reads this site, emails, or calls me. You are my support. You are my Vancouver life, and you will probably never know how much it means to me to know that you are all there, and rooting for me. Leaving Vancouver was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I don't at all feel as if I have lost anything. Thank you for being here with me through the ups and downs. From Binzuru, to the Fire Festival. From Hokkaido, to my big blue cast, I have had you to share my adventures with. Here is to you, and to more adventures for you to read about (and me to live)!

Arrivals

2006-07-07T00:28:00.000+09:00

Well, July is finally here. The one year mark of my arrival in Japan is fast approaching. I should take this opportunity to write a thoughtful reflection on the events of the past year…but that isn’t going to happen, and besides my entries are too long as is.

Summer has arrived. Really it came a few weeks ago. I didn’t mark it by the distance from the sun, but rather from the bloody temperature here. A few weeks ago was the first time we had a 30+ degree day. Since then there have been many…but it’s not the heat that gets you, it’s the humidity. Some days have been so humid and hazy that I couldn’t see the mountains (and trust me the valley I live in is not THAT big). Luckily for me I get to miss 3 weeks of the nasty weather here…but the other side of the coin is that I get to return just in time for the nastiest of it all, August. Yokoso Summer (Welcome summer).

Typhoon 3 is on its way. It seems that Japan is the land of natural disasters. There was a small earthquake near Nagano a few weeks ago. About a month ago, Okinawa and the southern islands were hit by the average monthly rainfall (and this is the rainy season) in just over 2 days. There were landslides, and some people were washed away in swollen rivers. And now for Typhoon 3. It appears to be a decent sized Typhoon. It’s been moving nice and slow, aiming straight for Honshu. That means it will be nice and strong. The prediction is that it will be here on the weekend or early next week. They usually stick to the Pacific coast, which means the waves on the Sea of Japan side, are bigger, but not dangerous. I might strap my board to the roof and head out to the surf. Yokoso Typhoon 3.

Canada Day has come and gone. While some of you were out partying, and others just kicking back, I was recovering. You see, Canada Day came for me roughly 16 hours before it came for you. Being a proud Canuck in exile, I did what any other poutine loving SOB would do. I threw a party. And not just any party a kick ass party. There were over 20 people in my backyard. I bought a pop-up tent, and we BBQed and lit of fireworks, and caused general mayhem. The party was great…it was a good mix of my Gaijin friends and my Japanese friends. Most conversations were taking place in a mix of both English and Japanese. The coolest part (other than the flag on a hockey stick) was that most of the Japanese people who were here had been to Canada for Working Holidays. The second best part, was that since Canada Day was a weekend, and the 4^th of July was a Tuesday, the Americans had to come to a Canada Day party! In the end there was a big bag of cans and two bags of glass bottles. Two of the red wine bottles were mine. Surprisingly I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t even hungover the next day. I just sweat it all out as I cleaned the yard. I have to say, I was really hoping to be home in Canada by Canada Day, but I am actually really happy that I wasn’t; the party was a true success! Yokoso internationalization.

July has arrived. That means that in a little over a week, I will be setting foot on Canadian soil again (not just in my living room, which I have unofficially deemed Canadian soil, or was that soiled by a Canadian…). I am pretty excited to get to see everyone again, and to kick back and relax Vancouver style. Oh, and how can I forget, good dark beer. Japanese beer is a nice treat when you live in Canada, but if that is the only stuff you can get your hands on then the fruity taste starts to get really crappy really quick. Anyway, I am really pumped for my trip home. I have a fair amount of prep to do for my trip, and even more to prepare for when I am back here in Japan. The biggest one was scheduling my appointment to get a Japanese Drivers Licence. I won’t bore you with any of the details though.

Well that’s the update for now. I hope everyone is well, and for those readers of you in Vancouver, I am looking forward to seeing you all real soon. Take care and enjoy summer time.

Drops

2006-06-15T23:29:00.000+09:00

Recently there have been some very powerful drops in Japan. One sort is making National news, the other sort made local news.

The National news is reporting very heavy rains in South Japan. From Okinawa to Kyoto, there have been daily rain falls of 350ml in some areas. Today the heaviest rains were around 40ml an hour. The sheer number of rain drops has started some catastrophic events. There have been land slides and flooding, and people have been washed away in swollen rivers. This is all just the beginning of the rain season, but Okinawa has received over half of its annual rainfall in the past month.

The have been so heavy due to the warm tropical westerly (from the west) winds that are blowing from South East Asia. This flow of air is occluding (when one front catches up to another…the reason it rains a lot in Vancouver too) with flows of southerly flows coming up off the Pacific Ocean. This mixture of warm moist air causes rain drop coalescence and strong winds. That has been your backyard meteorology lesson for today.

The other drops are of a much more solemn nature. I suggest if you don’t want to feel a little sad not to read on.

As I mentioned these drops are much more local. These drops are the tears of families in Nakano. Right here in my neighbourhood, Nangu. On Tuesday evening, around 5 o’clock, a second year student from Nangu Junior High School was on his bike. He was either headed to or from the tennis courts right near my house. He didn’t have his helmet on, and he apparently blew through a stop sign. He came out of a blind side street and was hit by a car. They did everything they could, but his injuries were too serious. He passed away within the hour.

Needless to say the people in my neighbourhood, and the staff and students at Nangu JHS are all pretty shaken up. Nangu is the school at which Brandon teaches. He knew the kid, and says he was a pretty good guy. Maybe not have been the best student, but he was still a good hearted little guy. Second grade JHS students are usually 13 or 14 years old.

We found out on Wednesday morning at Kousha JHS. The teachers were all pretty shocked, but they relayed that there have been a number of traffic accidents in Nagano recently. Apparently in another city a boy was hurt pretty badly in another traffic accident. I was pretty shocked. As I wandered around the school looking at the kids, I couldn’t help but think that they are just that, kids. I couldn’t imagine how I would react if that had happened to one of them. Brandon seems to be taking it ok, but I wonder how I would take it. My school is a third of the size, and it is such a tight knit community that I think something like that would be very traumatic for everyone.

I guess it is just another reminder that part of the beauty of life is how wonderful it can be, while being so fragile.

Info and Pictures

2006-06-11T21:05:00.000+09:00

Yet again it has been a while since I sat down to write for my blog. It is neither that I have not sat nor written, I simply have not gotten around to writing for this. He is a bit of a catch up on things, before I get to the fun stuff…photos included.

The catch up:

My leg. Everyone asks, so I guess people wanna know. It’s doing ok, still gets sore when I push it, but it is getting better. There is still no set time on when it will be better. It’s an injury, and unique to it’s own characteristics and to my body and life. I really wish I knew that in Japanese, and could politely say it to the people who ask me the same question “How is your leg” every time they see me.

School Work Stuff. It’s been busy as usual ever since the school year kicked off. I have been doing many elementary school visits, and a more consistent class schedule at Kousha. Things are good. I had to go to a conference in Tokyo last week. It was for JETs that have singed up for a second year. I really wish I could have just stayed and taught. The small group meetings led by senior JETs were for the most part well done. That’s more than I can say about the ones put on by CLAIR (one of JETs governing bodies) and MEXT (the Japanese Ministry of A Million and One F*#$ing Things…seriously, it’s like sports, culture, education, science, and technology). When they were not simply patting us all on the bums for having the ‘noble job of ALT,’ they were completely insulting our intelligences by offering irrelevant presentations and by appearing to answer genuine concerns of JETs while simply spewing political crap at us. So yeah, that’s how I feel about that. I just saw it as a huge expense for our BOE to send 2 of us all the way to Tokyo, put us up in a 4 star hotel downtown Shinjuku, pay of the conference fees, and have half of the material be completely irrelevant and insulting. Especially since they don’t have enough money to keep 4 JETs after July. Just wasteful in my opinion.

Coming Home. I have a visit planed to Lotusland…or is it Yogawearland yet? Either way, I am going to be in Vancouver for the better part of 3 weeks. I arrive on July 15^th, sometime well before I actually left Japan. I have a return ticket for the 4^th or 5^th of August, which puts me back into Japan an entire day after I took off. Ah, the International Date Line…doesn’t it make international air travel so much fun?

Technology. I will now be sharing more photos as I finally chose the digital camera I want. I also got the hack for my DVD player, so it is now region free and will play all my Canadian and Japanese DVDs!

And now a story, with the promised pictures.

So this weekend in Nakano was the バラまつり (Rose Festival). The city rose garden is know around these parts to be pretty spectacular when its in bloom. This leads itself to large crowds of Japanese people packed will all sorts of digital recording devices. Be it a simple cell phone, to a professional quality camera, everyone save the kids are toting something.

My part in the Festival was a little different. Miyuki and Yoshiko, two gals from the English Conversation class we teach at the community centre, asked Devin and I to help them with a contest. The way it works is that 10 teams receive buckets upon buckets of roses, and a metre squared box full of Oasis (that green flower spongy stuff). We were all given 3 hours to create an image for a contest. The public wandering through the park for the weekend would vote on the images.

Devin with our roses

The other teams were off at the word go. Our team was a little tired and dragging our feet a little. The other teams seemed super organized. Groups started pulling out all sorts of prepared materials. One group had a stencil, a group of Baachans (Grannies) had some scale prints of impressionist paintings. We stood around deciding what we were going to make. We had a few small images printed, and decided on a large wave. There is a famous Japanese block print that has s big wave and a buncha dudes in a boat. We took the wave and put a sunset instead of the dudes in the boat.

Devin started on the sun. I got going on the wave. Yoshiko and Miyuki worked on the ocean and the reflection of the sun. We were still the slowest moving team, as Miyuki’s husband (one of the organizers) was eager to point out. Still we plodded.

Devin and Yoshiko hunched over the sun.

Same thing from the proper angle.

Our picture started to take shape, and we all got really excited. We worked hard for a few hours, and saw some of the other groups finishing up. A class from a local elementary school was one of the first done. Some Highschoolers were quickly putting the finishing thouches on their work. Even the Baachans were onto the fine detail of their impressionist work.

Finally after most groups were gone, and the rest seemed to be cleaning up, we stood up to take a look at our finished work. This is it in all its splendour. We called it “Beach in Bloom” in Japanese, and for ourselves we went with the cheesy name of Rosebuddies.

"Beach in Bloom"

You can only kind of see it in the picture, but the wave actually grows three dimensionally as it rises and crests. It was really sweet.

In an epilogue to the creation, we went back today for the announcement of the winners. We had looked around at them the day before. We were confident that the elementary schoolers would take first, what they lacked in creative capacity they more than made up for with their cuteness in the logo of their school. The others were good, but lacked a lot of thematic creativity. The other nicely themed one was the Baachans. That being said, you really couldn’t tell what it was when you were looking at it.

Well we ended up winning something. We got the Special Achievement Award or some other sweet sounding consolation prize that really means 5^th place. The elementary school kids and the higschoolers beat us, which was nice to see…even though ours was superior. The real kick in the teeth though was that the Baachans took the gold. We are positive that what they lacked in clarity of image, they made up for with sheer voting numbers…I mean can a half foreign team really compete with a team of aged locals?

We still got a beautiful framed enlargement of our team around the finished work. Devin and I went onstage to receive our award and prize. I am sure we will be in the local rag again. And on top of it all, I got more roses than I could ever dream of having use for. They are in vases and hanging up sidedown all over my house. I have stripped the petals of other, and given a bunch to my sweet old neighbour. And that is the end.

Spring has sprung

2006-05-07T14:35:00.000+09:00

***sorry for the delay, life has been busy. I wrote this a week ago but I haven't had time to post it. All time refrences are as of a week ago. I know this is a little long, but trust me this is the shortened version**

It’s an amazing transformation that wakes the world. The blankets of snow have been gone for some time, but lately the temperature has started to be consistently warmer. The energy of spring is radiating through everything here. Change is in the air, at the schools, in the trees and plants, and in the life.

A little over a week ago I had a very strange moment upon entering my house. In the winter my house smells…cold. The kitchen usually smells like food, and the living room like incense. But that night, I walked in my house and smelled something that I hadn’t even noticed had been missing. The smell of tatami. In the warm months it’s the prevalent smell in the house. In summer it is crisp, but in fall it was a musty scent. Spring has the musty tones to it, but it also smells fresh. It was a neat moment to realize that I had been missing that smell. That was one of the fist indications of spring in Nakano.

Unlike most North American schools, Japanese schools begin their school year in April. There is a short break between the end of the previous year and the new one. Once the new year starts there are many changes around the school. Two of the English teachers left, and we have a new one. Kawamura-sensei is a pretty cool guy. He’s 23, this is his first full on teaching gig, and he plays in a band. He’s all about playing guitar and singing in class. The other day I caught the kids singing one of the songs by themselves.

Speaking of the students, there is an entire new group of students. It’s strange though. Each grade has a different coloured track suit, but apparently they keep the same colour as they progress in grades. It’s just quite strange to see what had been the old 3^rd grade colour on the new 1^st year students. We have a lot of really good new and returning kids at Kousha, so it should be a good year.

The school yard at Kousha is changing too. The metres of snow have melted and the school grounds have re-emerged. The grass is getting greener with every rain fall. Perhaps the most beautiful thing is the Cherry Blossom trees.

Cherry Blossoms are called Sakura in Japan, and both their beauty and the fleetingness there of, are celebrated by all. The trees at my school were in full bloom the other day. It was a spectacular sight to behold these giant Sakura trees, a swaying sea of white and pink. Even more spectacular was when they started to fall. The school grounds were blanketed in white once again, but this time with a tint of pink. The air was also full of petals, caught on the breeze and swirling around the schools garden. Perhaps the most beautiful time of all is now, as the petals are being washed away. The Sakura burst into life, the first splotch of colour on the spring canvas. Then they scatter and disappear. The first herald of life awakening.

My yard is changing as well. As my garden emerged from the weight of the snow, I regretfully found that most of my plants didn’t fare very well. I should have copied my neighbours and build wooden tee-pees around them before the snows came. On a brighter note, the growing sea of weeds (that passes for my lawn) was the stage for a beautiful sight. Red and yellow tulips popped out of nowhere and have brought a beautiful look to my yard. Both Brandon and I were shocked to see them. I never knew they were there, and Brandon swears he never saw them last year. I am sure he just never noticed. Either way, their arrival is a welcome bit of new life to my yard.

The air itself is beginning to transform as well. When the skies cleared up in winter, the air was clear and crisp. Lately there has been haze in the air. Not quite a fog, just a haze. I think it’s being caused by moisture from the wet earth starting to evaporate. That combined with all the plants starting to kick into gear. I termed it the “breath of the land.” Then again, it could be more of that damn sand from China.

And then I guess there’s my leg. My cast came off quite quickly. I have been free of it for a month. The crutches went away a little more slowly, as I wasn’t supposed to put much weight on my leg. I still had two for most of the time that my mom and sister were here. I had one for a week. Then it was time to go with out them (which to be honest I was already doing around my house a bit.) Now it has been about two weeks with out them. My leg is surprisingly well. I can walk around without my brace on, and I am even supposed to be running lightly with the brace on. All in all it’s going pretty smoothly.

Another change with my leg is the treatment. One of my English night class students got me an in with this hospital one town over. The building was renovated four months ago, but what the real draw is the joint specialist doctor guy. The lady from my class had her wrist operated on by him and said he did a fabulous job. He is also supposedly quite renowned, and he even has some foreign doctor training under him. On the up and up, they both speak English. They pulled…well sucked, 12cc of ‘joint fluid’ out of my knee the other day. Then they shot in some medicine. It was kinda cool, but it hurt a lot. That being said, the swelling has gone down considerably.

Best thing of all: new joint specialist doctor guy did some tests of my knee stability, and he says I don’t need surgery. He says we’ll take a conservative approach in the rehab and that it should be fine. Sweet.

Walking? What's that?

2006-03-29T20:38:00.000+09:00

I felt like asking the doctor that today. My cast is now fully removed, a week ahead of the initial schedule. I was supposed to wear the rear half of the cast until next week, but after another 4 x-rays today (man I think my doctor just loves looking at new ones) it turns out that my Fibula has healed quite quickly.

Apparently the bone has repaired enough for me to start putting some weight on in. I credit the calcium pills I have been taking every morning, and the yougurt that I have been trying to have daily. (Now on the same note, I am sure that not drinking milk contributed to my leg breaking...that and the tree I hit.) The doc looked at my leg and said she was pleased that the bone has done so well. So, yay! Fixed bone, and no more cast (just my leg brace 24/7).

That being said, the hard part is really starting. The doctor measured how much pressure I could put on my leg today, and I was able to get almost all my weight on it before it started hurting. At least my leg is still that strong...it really looks like a piece of spaghetti beside the other one...sad really. So I still have a fair ammount of strength in my leg. However, the range of motion is the killer.

The doctor says that if I am to get ACL surgery that I need to have full range of motion first...which for Japanese people is 150 degrees. Now I can sit "seiza" (sitting on your knees with your feet tucked flat, sole up) for a little while, but due to the size of my legs I am not able to really sink into it like most Japanese people can. I don't think my leg has ever been able to go 150 degrees, simply because my calf is kinda meaty. Anyways, there is no way my leg can go anywhere near that right now anyways. We did a range of motion test, and I pushed as hard as I could and I barely got to 70 degrees. Let me tell you, it hurt a lot. I pushed (or rather pulled) as hard as I could until it felt like I was going to tear things in my knee. It is probably just swelling, but still it felt like things were going to pop and tear (funny since my MCL is already torn and that's where the pain was.)

So, my homework for the week is to work on my range of motion. She wants me to try for 90 degrees for next week. I soalked my leg for a long time in a super hot bath tonight and started to work it out a little. I think I pushed a little farther than this afternoon, but I am now starting to realize exactly how laborious this rehab is going to be. I will make slow progress, but I am determined to get through it. This afternoon 20 degrees seemed like...if not a walk in the park, then just an easy little hike. This evening 20 degrees seems like a little more. I wouldn't call it Mt. Everest, maybe more like the Grouse Grind...possible, but not without effort.

All that being said, I can walk again. I still use the crutches, but really just for a little support. I am probably going to have them for a few weeks, but for the first time in a few weeks, I have actually used my leg. I have to keep looking at the path ahead and preparing for the rigours that it will bring, but I have to remember to look back and to be proud of getting to where I am.

The Japanese have a wonderful and horrible word all rolled into one. "Gambare" or sometimes "gambatte." Either way, it means "do you best" or "try as hard as you can." Those are direct translations though. They use it in many situations. I get told "gambare" when they see me struggling to put on my shoe, or when I am hoofing down the hall at work, or sometimes when people just see my crutches. I say it is both wonderful and horrible because of how often it is used. Sometimes I just think "of course I am trying my hardest, aren't you watching" but other times I really feel the support of the words. Gamabre is one of those words that even a description like this can't make clear. Ask someone who has lived in Japan what they think of Gambare, see how they take it.

Another phrase that brings both postitve and negative feelings is "kawaisoo." It translates to "pitty" or "poor." It's kinda like saying "poor you" or "what a shame." Most of the time people use it to show sympathy. I get it a lot when I tell people about my leg, or about difficulties in daily life. I even get it when people just see my leg. I don't know why, but "Kawaisoo" is really irritating at times. I just get sick of people saying "poor you." I know it is something that is lost in translation, both lingual and cultural. I appreciate the gesture that people are making when they say it, but I relly don't want their pitty.

Maybe the previous 2 paragraphs have sounded harsh. They are not designed to be. It's really just a little cultural insight I want to share, and at the sametime vent a little. Bless all the people here that are making things easy for me, and offering their support and sympathy. I really appreciate their comments, even when they irritate me

On another completely unrealated note: everything here is gritty. A fine layer of sand has been dusting most of Japan. I have been told the ski hill is turning a little yellow; I know that the skies in Kyoto are taking on a yellow tint; even my windshield has a little dusting of sand. The sand is being picked up by strong winds that are sweeping over China and then it is carried over the sea and starts to settle on Japan. It very strange. It is making the news daily, but so far it seems to be causing no more than minor difficulties. I don't know if anyone at home had seen this on TV or in the paper, but do a search on the internet for it...it's kinda interesting.

Well that's it for tonight. I feel like a cuppa joe and a good sit with my book. Even though I can walk around a bit, I have come to appreciate a good sit. Hope your all well, and please feel free to comment here or email me at aj22@shaw.ca! I love hearing from everyone, and thanks to those of you who have been keeping in touch, it has really helped keep me positive during this stressful time. And please pardon any spelling or other mistakes in this post, I haven't re-installed Office yet...

What a month...

2006-03-23T11:31:00.000+09:00

Well I can finally update my website again. It's been a while, but I left everyone with a good read didn't I? There is a reason for why I haven't been able to update sooner. You see, my luck in the first half of this month has been absolutely awful. Let's recap:

March 1st:
My car won't start. I take it to the mechanic. The starter motor is fired. About $400 for a new starter motor. Mechanic says that the model of my car is a "torabaru oii kuruma" or lotsa trouble car...read lemon. But hey, $400 later it starts and runs, and feels better than ever.

March 4th:
Got up close and personal with a tree. If you want more info on this read my previous post.

March 6th:
Appointment with Orthopedics. They do a bunch more x-rays (read more $$ out of pocket for now, insurance will pay be back, but not for a bit). The doc drains 3 vials of blood off my knee, and says she thinks I tore some ligaments. Schedule an MRI, and get a cast all the way up to my thigh.

March 11th:
Sleeping in since I can't go snowboarding. Get a call from my firend Rich. Since my newly fixed car is manual, I can't drive it with my cast. Rich, Joyce, and I did a 3 way car trade. Rich has my car. He asks what the problem was last week, and if it had something to do with the clutch or gears. I tell him that no it was the starter motor, and that it just wouldn't start. He says "Oh, cause something else is wrong now." The gears are slipping when he takes his foot of the clutch. He take it into a mechaninc, and speaking almsot no Japanese gets the point that whatever it is requires the whole engine taken out to fix. The estimate is about $1200. I say screw it, my mechanic told me the resale value of my car, and with the $400 before and $1200 now, I really should just buy a new car. Rich brings the car to my house and takes Joyce's car. Now I am completely stranded at my house.

March 12th:
Computer starts to go. It's acting like it has either a virus or some software is not agreeing with other system operations. Try as I might, windows is slow and sluggish...if it does what I want it to do at all. Between the second breakdown of my car and this, I don't know what to do...but thankfully I still had a working TV and hockey games on tape (Liz you are a lifesaver...or at least sanity)

March 14th:
MRI. It went really well. I zoned out and relaxed. It only took around 20 to 30 min. The best part, since it was my knee they were scanning I didn't have to put my head into that tiny little tube.

March 15th: -The Ides of March-
Results. What a day to recieve results. I was half laughing and half frightened about the date of my meeting with the doc, but hey that's just bad luck for Ceaser, right? Well not fully. I got the MRI results, and it looks like I have a torn ACL and MCL, and there is a good chance I tore something in my Ankle. The doc isn't willing to say surgery is needed, but it is definately an option. She feels that if I want to do the high strain sports I enjoy that surgery is probably the best route...but she wants to wait and see.

That was the first half of the month...let's take a little peek at what the second half has held so far...

March 18th:
First day of spring break. Formerly known as two weeks of solid snowboarding, now known as two weeks of trying to figure out what to do with myself. That being said, my new Playstation 2 is keeping me entertained for a fair ammount of time.

March 20th:
Finally decide to screw the computer that is still giving me a hard time. Full format and reinstall. Trash it all, and start fresh. Luckily I was able to back up all my important files before this point. Now my computer works beautifully again. Maybe my luck is improving...

March 22nd:
Meeting with the Doc. Getting the front half of my cast cut off. I will be able to remove this half cast and then I can take a shower...yay, sponge baths are very cold. The cast frees my ankle too, and I am supposed to start some rehab on that. I am to have this cast till the 5th of April, but that's the first day of school. I ask the doc if we can re-schedule. She says how about next week. So there we go, I get my cast off fully a week early. I still cant walk on my leg and I have to wear my knee brace all the time, but I can deal with that.

And that brings us to today. I can finally respond to emails on a regular basis, and I can update my website. Thanks to everyone who has commented recently on my site, and to those who have sent me emails. It's really nice to have some contact with home, and it helps pass the time while all my friends are up snowboarding. I will try to respond more regularly now that my computer isn't on the fritz. Drop me a line!

Close Encounters of the Coniferous Kind

2006-03-09T18:41:00.000+09:00

That’s what I had last Saturday. Now being a nature lover, I usually savour the chance to get close with various trees…however this was never what I had in mind.

Last weekend at Nozawaonsen was very lovely. There had been a little bit of fresh snow on top of a base that had been soaked with rain for a little over a week. The fresh snow was wonderful and light, unfortunately it was on top of a hard icy base. That gives the fresh snow a tendency to slip off of the ice and leave bare spots. I managed to find one of those spots. I lost my edge and started to bounce off the snow. The smooth icy surface offered no friction to slow me down as I bounced along the ground. My board edge wouldn’t dig in no matter how hard I tired…and trying ended up causing me to bounce, and bounce, and finally do a bit of a 180 in the air. As I came around in the air, I realized I would stop soon. I knew that because I was about 3 feet from two 30cm circumference trees. My left leg went straight into one of them (or maybe both…my memory of that exact moment is fuzzy to say the least) and spun me around to a stop. The stars in my vision and the pain in my leg led me to believe that I had either broken my leg or I was one luck bastard.

Lady luck was not on my side, as an x-ray at the hospital proved that yes indeed I broke my leg: my Fibula to be exact, about 3 cm below the knee. I was in good spirits the whole way to the hospital (mostly on a snowmobile, the worst way to get off a mountain) and while I was there. I was in some serious pain, but I have been hurt before and I was dealing with it. They cast my leg, but they did it below the knee, which made no sense to me. They also made an appointment at the large regional hospital, which just happens to be a few blocks from my house. I couldn’t get crutches at the hospital I was at, but they assured me I could get some when I went for my appointment at Hokushin Hospital.

Well Monday rolled around, and after hobbling around my house with a walking stick and a rolling chair I was glad to sit down in a real wheel chair and make my way around the hospital. Now I would have thought that the Nozawaonsen Hospital would have forwarded the 4 x-rays they took, but apparently not. So wheel over to the x-ray room, take 2 more. Go back to the desk and hurry up and wait. But apparently the low cast confused the x-ray technician and he took the shots too low down my leg. Back to the x-ray room and 2 more of the right place. Hurry up and wait again.

Finally they call my number and I get to see and orthopaedic doctor. She says yup its broken, and that the cast needs to be redone since it didn’t even cover the break (what gives eh?). She also feels around my knee a little while it is accessible. She had some concerns about my ligaments. She figures I tore my MCL, but says that that shouldn’t require surgery. She is also concerned about my PCL and my ankle, so she has scheduled an MRI to take place next week. Also, it seems that I had a lot of blood pooling in my knee, so she drained off 3 vials. It was kinda gross, but I watched the whole thing. After that it was off to the casting room. The nurse cutting off the old cast was funny, but she nicked my ankle bone with the bloody saw…it didn’t break skin, but left me with a little burn. Then it was casting time. I was glad because the bigger hospital also had more selection. Nozawa had a whole selection of white and white casts. Hokushin had white, pink, and blue. So needless to say, I now have a big blue stiff leg. My cast goes from the ball of my foot to mid thigh.

This being my first broken bone, it is also my first cast. They are cumbersome, but it isn’t bad. Its way better for my knee than the first low cast they put on. The itch is there, and I am sure I will sing a different tune at the end of the month, but for now I can deal with the itch. And heck, I have a buncha metal clothes hangers that are just waiting to be straightened out into leg scratchers.

Well I now have crutches so I can get around. I traded cars with a friend so I have an automatic and I can drive. I have been at work since Tuesday. I am trying hard to say in good spirits, and to figure out how to do the daily things that have become so difficult. From putting on underwear, to going to the bathroom in my closet of a toilet, to staying clean with out taking a shower or a bath, it’s all new. But I love to create new and easy ways of doing things, so at least my mind is stimulated while my body is gimped.

Well I will update this after I get the results from my MRI. I go for the test on Tuesday and the results on Wednesday. If you have any to spare, please send me some positive energy. I am staying positive, but a little help will never hurt.

With that I am off to hobble and roll to the kitchen to make some dinner. I hope everyone is having a good time, and staying safe…watch out for those rascally trees.

Adam the Tripod…or is that triped???

What a trip...

2006-02-21T14:27:00.000+09:00

About two weeks ago the guys from town and I took a bit of a vacation. We planned a trip up to Hokkaido. It was a multi purpose trip. Hokkaido has some of the most famous snowboarding in Japan, and in Sapporo there is also the famous “Yuki Matsuri” or Snow Festival. Let me start the tale with the trip there…

Saturday morning. Rise and shine bright and early. Our flight out is around 1pm, but we have to trek it down to the airport. The airport in Nagano Prefecture is in Matsumoto City. It’s 2 trains and a bus ride away from my house. All said and done, it takes about 2.5 to 3 hours to get there. The cost of the trains one way is close to $40 as well.

So there we were riding along the rails down to Matsumoto on the second of two trains, and Brandon get a phone call on his cell phone. It’s the airport. Apparently there is a blizzard sweeping across Hokkaido. Good for snowboarding, bad for airplanes. Our flight has been cancelled and there is only one flight a day from Matsumoto to Hokkaido. After sitting in disbelief for a little bit, we get a call back with some decent news. There is space for the three of us on the flight out the next day. So getting to Hokkaido is taken care of, but we are on a train that costs the better part of $30 that doesn’t stop until Matsumoto. We get some advice on hotels, but after some frantic calling we get no where. We are now totally screwed for the night, as we either have to take the train all the way home and then back out the next day, or we have to find somewhere to stay.

We end up calling a friend of Brandon’s who lives in a suburb of Matsumoto. He not only offers to put us up in his little apartment for the night, but he says he will pick us up from the train station. So we cram 4 dudes, and 3 large snowboard bags into his car (well half in his car) and make our way to his house. We ended up having a good time, as we went to a good restaurant and also to an arcade. The next day we are off to the airport again, and thankfully we didn’t get any unexpected calls. However this started the real day from hell.

We show up at the airport, flight is on, but not on schedule. It’s and hour late. Ok we can deal with that as long is it gets us there. Now Brandon had planned out all the transfers and trains to get us to the hotel we are staying at. We take a look at it all, and even with an hour delay we should make them all. So a little bit later we are boarding the plane. Now there are 2 airports that service Sapporo…but none of us knew that until we got on the plane. Our flight is going to New Chitose Airport…however Brandon’s schedules are planned from Sapporo Airport. Ok, we do some math, 1 hr flight delay plus about 1 hr from the new airport to Sapporo station. We should still be able to make it, just barely, but we should make it. Touch down and bust off the plane. Get the bags and run to the train platform, we should just make the train out to Sapporo. We made it there in time, however the train didn’t. Apparently the snow is causing trouble with trains too. The train finally shows up over 20 min. late. These delays are starting to get serious now, we are right on the borderline of making it to our final train transfer. We pack ourselves onto the train and find a corner by a vending machine to cram into, as all the seats are full. The train ride goes smoothly…until we get between North Sapporo and Sapporo station (our terminus). The conductor comes over the speakers and announces a brief delay for snow clearing on the track ahead of us. Brief means 15 min. and that’s enough to screw things up big time.

We finally arrive in Sapporo, almost 3 hours (and a day) behind schedule. We are all tired and worn out, and I am the only one keeping my humour at this point. Most of you know me, and know that sometimes when stuff is so horrible wrong you just have to laugh at it. Apparently some people don't like that when stuff is going wrong, cause I was getting the rough side of some attitude issues that evening. Brandon went in to find out if we could still get a train to where we were planning on going. The people in the railway office said that there wasn’t a train like that one until the morning. So we thought about a hotel or a bus. In our search we go to the station office (as opposed to the railway office). They tell us that the train we missed is really late and it is at the platform right now. We run through the gate and burn up the stairs, and just as Rich reaches the platform the train leaves. Would you really have expected anything else?

So there we are no direct train (now let me include this here, there was a train, but we would have had to transferred, but since everyone was pissy, no one really wanted to hear that logic, so we followed this route…) and we are stuck in Sapporo. We think about a hotel, but after discussion we decide to see how much a cab will be. Now cabs in Japan are much more expensive than Canada, and this is gonna be a few hour cab ride. Well we ask a cabbie how much, he calls it in and gives us a ball park of $250. We decide that that is a better deal than a hotel, since we would still have to pay for the train in the morning. The problem is this: we all have snowboards and board bags, and he only had ski racks. Well we pull the boards out of the bags; throw the bags in the trunk. We then proceed to put all the snowboards into the cab of the car, and the three of us, plus the cabbie pile in. Brandon was sitting in the front eating his knees, and rich and I were getting cozy in the back seat. The cabbie was a super cool dude, and he stopped so we could get some food at a 7-11. The roads were snowy, and the whole trek took about 2.5 hours. He only almost slid out once…he came with in inches of the snow bank. In the end it was about a $250 cab ride, but since he was a cool cabbie, and we were just happy to be at the hotel, we gave him a $50 tip.

Well that is the adventure of getting there. The rest is pretty much snowboarding and seeing the snow festival. I will put some pictures of the snow festival at the end of this post, so I won’t talk about that too much. As far as the snowboarding: Hokkaido is everything it is cracked up to be. We were at Niseko resort. It doesn’t have the vertical drop that Whistler has, but the terrain is comparable, and the powder is so light and fluffy. The tree runs there are simply to die for. Wonderfully spaced out white birch trees with tonnes of powder between them, it really is a world class resort. Two days the winds were high and the visibility low. It made for less than desirable conditions, but still the snow was so soft and light, that I found it hard to complain.

Well the real adventure was getting there, so now I will leave you with the pictures I took on my cell phone at the snow festival.

The Benz display

Malaysia's sculpture in the country competition.

Canada's sculpture. They won last year.

A 4 foot temple.

A huge temple.

A famous Australian train station.

Mmm, beer.

A close up of the huge temple.

A Narnia display by Honda. This is massive...about 10m high by 35m wide.

A cool display.

Some deer made from ice.

JAL's display featuring famous Japanese golfer Ai-chan. Zoom in on her eyes to see the amazing detail that was put into this one.

Some funky octopus thing.

on the rolling waves

2006-01-23T23:15:00.000+09:00

Friday January 13th to Friday January 20th

Well it has been one hell of a week. Read it as positive, read it as negative. Either way you are right. The Wheel of Fortune (and no I am not talking about Pat Sajak and Vanna White here people) has been spinning and stopping constantly, it has doled out its fair share of ups and downs. Strange that it seems to have come out that way, but that is how it worked.

Weather:

Upside: The street in front of my house has finally been ploughed. It is quite narrow (really only 1 car wide, and it has those open gutters on either side, gaijin traps for the enlightened, that are about a foot wide and a good 18 inches deep. The only part with out the gaijin traps is the part where the road drops off a good 10 feet and then you’re on the railway tracks. This treacherous road has not been ploughed, let a lone being clear of snow, for a good month. I’m talking the better part of a foot here people.
The weather warmed up last weekend, and they sent the ploughs out in full force, and on Monday night our road was finally done. Yay! I was also able to clear a lot of over hanging snow of the roof. So I in actual fact sleep better now know that there isn’t at least a hundred kilograms of ice and snow hanging over my front door and walk way.

Downside: Remember the warm weather that enabled them to finally clear the road on Monday. That weather started Friday? It wasn’t warm and sunny though, and there’s the rub. It was what I would describe as a torrential rain fall. This was as awful as some of the worst rainy days in Vancouver. Well that pretty much started Friday. Thankfully I cleared my roof off about two hours before it started coming down. So there was a silver lining in those damn dark clouds.
So much for a powder day, eh? We hit the hill anyways and started to get a ride in. Apparently one of the gondolas, and all the charis that service the top of the mountain were closed to high wind…although most of the windsocks were no where near unfurled. Ok then, ride the groomers with the masses. It was interesting to do two things I like at the same time: snowboard and shower. But it was more like a cold shower in heavy clothes…which didn’t equal a whole lotta fun. So we call it a day early and head for home. Once I got to the little back roads that access my neighbourhood and off of the major routes I was driving on some pretty thick, pretty slushy snow. It was still snow at that point. I can’t say the same for when Brandon and I went to meet some snowboarding friends I know in Chiba prefecture.
The guys were crashing at my house for a night and I had to go meet them at the Gusto (a cheep restaurant chain). I pull my car out of my drive way and started to navigate my way around the corner. I am now pulling up to the part of the road that still has a barrier before the drop off to the train tracks, and my car starts becoming really unresponsive in the slush that has developed. I manage to control it before I bump the barrier. I straighten out and start to go again. I clear where the barrier is, and my car starts to move pretty much sideways. Now I’ve got a 4 wheel drive car with new snow tires on it, but it just starts sliding to the right (which is the side I sit on) and its getting close to the gaijin trap. I get it stopped, and under control, then I start to work the gas again. Really to no avail, since the road is about ten inch deep slush and there are still icy chunks and old frozen tire tracks in it. Even with the greatest care my tires are spinning, each revolution pulling the back end of the car closer to the gaijin trap.
B and I get out and start to dig out a little. We dig a lot. We push and rock and try to get it unstuck. We actually do get it out a few times…a few feet. Each stop another spot to dig out. Each time a little closer to the gutter. Finally we enlist the help of our buddy Devin. We joke around and call him “Devin from Heaven,” because of his dreamy blue eyes (he, he, he), but he was a god sent. All three of us dug and dug, then they rocked the car and I gave it gas. With a big push from them I was finally sliding and slipping my way through the brutal slush towards the bare pavement…a few hundred metres down the road. Sweet, sweet freedom.
We finally made it to Gusto. We meet the dudes, ate, and headed back here for a few cold ones. The roads were pretty good most of the way home…that is until we reach my neighbourhood. We pull around this corner about to do the last home stretch. Not the same rout as the way out. This is a straight shot 200m of deep as slush with gaijin traps lining either side. That was the plan at least. But what do we see? An old Japanese man (oh come on were you really expecting big foot or aliens). It’s one of the neighbourhood regulars, and he’s got his snow scoop out. Old man just doing trips from the middle of the road to the gutter. Side the snow, dump the snow, pick more up and repeat. There are three of them all doing this right in the middle of the home stretch.
Good they have some bare spots made; my car should be able to make it through no problem. We will never know. The jerk had the audacity to ignore us for about a full minute, and when he finally looked up he waved us around the block (to the route where I got stuck before), and just went back to work. Brandon explained in Japanese that our house was that way and the dude just completely ignored him. We waited and waited, and finally his stubborn old bones won over my impatience. I took the other route, and low and behold I get stuck in pretty much the same spot I did before.
This time there are six of us and two cars. We start trying to tackle the issue with the full arsenal of shovels that Brandon and I have. That gave us 5 men working and one on a rotating break. We worked for a good 15 min and got about 15 centimetres down the road. This was chunky riveted ice under slushy crap. Our irritated voices attracted our neighbour (one who had been out shovelling, but not the rude guy). He brings some kind of a garden hoe and starts hacking off huge pieces of ice, and we all start to clear. We finagled the hoe from him and he leaves us alone for a bit. When he came back he had a pick axe as well. So we tear through the ice, clear it all and get the cars parked. Time for beer…
…and some cross cultural banter. Four dudes in all came up from Chiba. Including Brandon and I, the official score sheet was 1 Canuck, 2 Yanks, 2 Brits, and a Kiwi. It was a nice change, as I am very often the lone Canadian in a group of Americans. This time there was even more cross cultural banter than before. While I was still the lone man defending the leaf, there were pot shots getting tossed at everyone as opposed to me being the sole target. The best part was that there was a big Common Wealth posse, and we could stick it to the Yanks a little more than I can on my own. All in all a good time was had.

Nozawaonsen Fire Festival:

Upside: I am privileged to say that I have not only attended, but also participated in one of the coolest festivals in Japan. Nozawaonsen is the Ski hill we attend. It is named after the village at its base, that up until recently was owned buy this small few thousand person village. Annually on January 15th the town hosts its traditional festival. Around this time in Northern Nagano many areas have some sort of festival that incorporates fire. In most there is a burning of lucky charms, many in the form of these red heads called DARUMA. From what I gather most deal with luck both good and bad. The Nozawaonsen Fire Festival isn’t a stack of hay with Daruma on it, no; it is a freaking shrine made of big ass trees and branches. Oh yeah, and it has real live people on it.
You see apparently age 42 and 25 are unlucky and Nozawaonsen has a special way of helping expel the bad luck. The 42 year olds sit on top of this giant beautiful wooden structure, the 25 year old are at the bottom holding these ropes tied to the structure. Now I know you are hoping I don't say that they pull the ropes and the shrine starts to fall. Of course not. You see those 25 year olds are actually defending the shrine and the 42 year olds. They are holding big boughs from fir trees. What on earth are they protecting the shrine from? Well the rest of the village of course! Everyone else in the village has sparked up a huge bonfire built earlier that day. Using wood that the 42 year olds toss down to them, they start to rush the 25 year olds. At first it starts nice and easy. Guys rushing to burn the shrine, 25 year olds batting away their burning staves using the boughs. A good little flow gets going, but soon people are getting whacked with branches and others whacked with burning bundles. It all sounds kinda crazy right? Well would it make more sense if everyone was drunk?
Well either way, that is the case. See the other kick ass upside to this festival is that everyone is completely liquored up on free sake. Everyone including the 42 year olds, the 25 year olds, the villagers with fire, and the audience. That’s right, there is so much free sake there that they even have guys walking around with bottles and cups tied to them…you know, just to make sure nobody needs go longer than 10 minutes with out another. This is no cheep sake either. This stuff is quality.
Free sake, fire, being a guy. It was a pretty good combo, that is until the drunk, English speaking Japanese lady (that incidentally been calling the ‘Sake-man’ back in our direction) told us that we could participate. My friend Kris convinced me to go…it didn’t really take a lot. We set off. Head for the wood being tossed off from the top and before we had even made it that far some random Japanese handed us bundles of wood. I ended up with two. We ducked into the area where the bonfire was, and loaded up for our attack wave. There were lost of other gaijin we knew in there. It was a riot. We make it a short way in and my sticks get snuffed. I was on my way back to the bonfire when I was pulled to the side. It was a reporter with a mic and a dude with a camera. Japanese guys, but asking me in English where I am from and what I think of the festival. I got out a few answers before one of the gaijin came over pulled my arm and said we have to go make another offensive. I explained that to the reporter and then ran off. Pretty cool.

Downside: I had no idea that I would be participating in the fray, and I wasn’t really dressed appropriately. I was smart enough to take off my fleece (that would have been really dumb) and I though the rest of what I was wearing was ok. I guess I should have thought again in this day and age of cotton synthetic mixes.
During our second wave I managed to tuck in behind some of those 25 years olds getting nasty with the boughs. I was in a beautiful position. I held my blazing torch high and started to get some of the prayer papers and rope going a bit. It was at about that point that I was discovered. A few quick whacks with the branches and my fire was turned to ashes. Unfortunately a lot of those ashes ended up on me, in the hood of my hoodie, and even down it. I walked away at that point. I figured I had some fun, better go before I get burnt.
I have only one tiny little burn on my hand, and I am now the owner of a beautiful hoodie with some nice burn holes and scorch marks on it. I also have a sweet t-shirt and a long underwear shirt that have holes in them as well. Still I don't regret going in and getting dirty. Next year I’m getting fire retardant clothes and I’m bringing that sucker down.
In the end no one succeeded in burning down the shrine before the wood torches ran out. That signalled the time for the 42 year olds to evacuate. The bonfire had been slowly shifted towards the shrine. Now it was right below it. Apparently no one ever succeeds in burning it with the little sticks, so they put the big bonfire under the thing. In about 10 minutes it was smoking. In 15 it was engulfed in flame. After about 25 minutes the top of the sucker just fell in. This wave of heat rolled over the crowd. After that it was just a matter of tossing on some giant good luck charms for the babies born last year.
Man do the people in Nozawaonsen know how to do it. What a killer time. I will take my losses and still call this one a win. If anyone is considering visiting Japan in the winter, may I recommend you try to make it coincide with the fire festival?

Back to the weather:

Upside: I’m at a loss here people.

Downside: It got cold again after the roads were rained on and ploughed. Cold wet roads = all out black ice. My “Ice Guard” tires lived up to their name in the ice…they just apparently suck in slush. The rest of the week brought a few small snow flurries, but mostly sunshine.

January 23, 2006

More weather:

Upside: It snowed a lot again. Last night and this morning brought probably around 15 cm of snow. Yeah, after 2 weeks of now real powder boarding it looks as if we will finally get to shred it up again.

Downside: Did someone say shovelling?

Happy New Year

2006-01-11T19:45:00.000+09:00

I hope you all had fun on New Years, and that this year brings peace and harmony to you and your family.

As Christmas is not a holiday in Japan, the winter break does not start until closer to New Years Eve. The first day of the break was the 29^th. Students went back to school on the 10^th of January. The teachers went back on like the 4^th or 5^th. Luckily for me, my Board of Education says there is no point in us AET’s being in school if there are no classes. I say no classes as opposed to no students at school, since it seems that the majority of kids went to school over winter break to practice with their clubs. I swear sometimes I really don't understand this place.

That all being said I still had my break, and I intended to use it. While some of the dudes here in town went home for the holidays, others had people coming to visit. Since I had neither, I accepted the gracious invitation from the Yamaguchi family to come and spend some time at their house. For those of you who don't know them, they are one of the families that I tutored in Vancouver. They lived in Van for about 4 years, and I tutored them for the better part of three and a half.

They live in Tokyo Prefecture, about 40 min out of downtown. So on Dec 30^th I boarded a Bullet Train and I was levitated to Tokyo. After doing a little train hopping, I finally made it out to their station. They came to get me at the station, and I was met by two of the three kids running up to me. I cannot believe how much they have grown. Anyway, we hopped in to their minivan and sailed off to their house.

Now I am from the countryside of Japan. Well it’s still developed, but people in the city treat it like the countryside, and really in comparison it is. With that in mind, I kinda made the assumption that space would be a definite premium in The City. Needless to say, I was more than a little surprised when I saw their house. I was expecting something pretty tight for space, but it turned out to be a fairly nicely sized house.

Everyone had rooms upstairs with the two little girls sharing a room. I had a futon (not like the couch kind in North America, this is the real deal) on the floor in the only room that had tatami floor. It’s amazing how comfortable it is sleeping on a futon on tatami. I am glad I have a bed at home here in the cold cold interior of Japan…especially since I have flooring in my bed room, but it wasn’t too bad in Tokyo. As far as the weather goes, there was no snow in Tokyo, and it was quite a nice temperature, but I now understand what people from Eastern Canada say about Vancouver winters. The temp was warm compared to what I was used to, but the air was damp like it is in Vancouver. That moisture just sucks the heat right out of you. It was actually kinda nice since it reminded me of being back in Vancouver.

During my stay we did many traditional Japanese New Year things. On New Years Eve (my first full day there) we went to a city called Kamakura, in Kanagawa Prefecture. Kamakura was the base of power for the Samurai when they ruled Japan. It has considerable history, and a very large temple. Now tradition in Japan dictates that you must go to a temple/shrine on New Years Day. Apparently the shrine in Kamakura is the third most popular in Japan. Whit that in mind we went on New Years Eve, just to sight see. I got the full low down on the history of the place, and we did some traditional Japanese prayers, etc.

The Yamaguchis and I at a shrine (I think) in Kamakura

Writing on a prayer tablet

Hanging up my lucky fortune

Aiki and I.

After the temple, we went to Daibutsu. Daibutsu is a giant Buddha. It is really neat, because you can actually go inside of it. When we where in there checking it out, the kids and I noticed people had stuck coins into the joins in the brass that makes up the statue. The funniest thing is that I noticed one didn’t look Japanese…in fact it had the picture of Queen Elizabeth on the back. Since I couldn’t see the whole thing I am a little unsure, but I am willing to bet it was a Canadian Nickel of all things!
We ended up doing a little more sightseeing and then we played on the beach. There are some beautiful beaches in Kanagawa. They have a nice southern exposure on the pacific ocean, and the sand is fine and soft.

A beautiful photo taken by Aiki (almost age 7)

That night we started the real traditional elements of New Years. Just before the change of the year we had Toshi-koshi-soba (or is it koshi-toshi-soba…) Either way, it translates as the changing of the year soba. If you have never had soba, I highly recommend it. It is delicious buckwheat noodles, and Nagano is actually a little famous for it (almost everywhere in Japan claims to be famous for it’s soba, but Nagano actually is). After the soba we waited for midnight. As the clock struck 12, large temple bells all over Japan started to toll 108 times. We watched the telecast of it. After that we were all getting ready for bed when we heard Hanabi (literally flower-fire…or fire works). We headed out to see if we could catch them. We saw some of them but we retired when it seemed as if they had stopped. Murphy apparently doesn’t take a night off, because as soon as we were back in the house, they started up again.

The next morning brought the full onslaught of Japanese New Years. For the first few mornings of the New Year, Japanese families eat Osechi-ryori…or New Years Food. It is all food that lasts a few days so it can be eaten over the next few days to give the mom a break from making everyone breakfast. It includes many different things and many of them have significance to starting off a new year. For example there are white and black beans, I don't remember exactly what they represent, but it is something to do with having the seeds of a good year. We also had a whole side of fish eggs. Now, since I have been in Japan, I have had my share of fish eggs…some I like, others I don't. I have to admit that these fit into the latter, but to credit myself I ate almost all of them.

Osechi-ryori

Later that day we took a train to a temple in Tokyo Prefecture. The temple was completely packed. There was a line up about 8 people wide, and at least 700 metres long, just to get through the temple gate. It is funny how some things are the same around the world. One either side of the line up were vendor tents, most selling what the Japanese version of ‘festival food’ is. Once we got through the gate, there was a little more of a line to get to the shrine thingy. We tossed in our coins and clapped twice, then made a new year prayer. It was really cool.

On the way home we bought a kite. Apparently it is a traditional Japanese New Year activity to fly kites. When we were back in their neighbourhood we took the kite and some traditional badminton-like game. We had fun I the school yard until it got too cold to be outside.

Taiki and I playing traditional badminton game

Traditional writing is another New Years activity we tried. The kids wrote mottos for the new year...I wrote my name.

The second of January brought a really interesting experience. It is a treat that I know not every gaijin who visits Japan gets to do. We went to the Imperial Palace. We didn’t just go to it though; we went into the court yard. On January 2^nd the Imperial Family greets the nation. We went and saw the second of about 5 public greetings. They are called public, but really it is just the Emperor, Empress, and some of the family, up on a balcony. It was a only a few minuets long, but it was really neat. The Emperor just looked like an older Japanese man in a nice suit, but the Empress was in a beautiful dress that had a gradation from copper to silver. Later that day we went to the Edo-Tokyo-museum. It was a really cool place that documented the growth of what was initially a small farming village, in to the worlds most booming metropolis.

The next day brought a less traditional side of Tokyo. We went to Odaiba. For those of you who watch the Discovery Channel often, there is a documentary about this part of Tokyo. They refer to it as “Tokyo Teleport Town” or “T3.” I guess that is the English name for it, but damned if the Japanese people know it. This part of town has some large displays from some of the largest companies in Japan. We went to a big display centre for Toyota. It was pretty cool. There were tonnes of cars and all sorts of multimedia and interactive displays. We also went to a Fuji Television centre. Apparently that is where they film some of the very popular shows in Japan. Usually you can look down into the studios, but since it was around New Years, everything was on break. There was a tonne of fun things to see and do in and around Odaiba. It is known as a local hot spot for younger Tokyoites, and it did not fail to impress.

The next day entailed a lazy morning, and then my train ride home in the afternoon. I arrived home to my car a few feet in snow. It took the better part of 2 hours to clear it all away, but that was a small price to pay for the hospitality I received in Tokyo. The Yamaguchis really are like family to me. Their kids are full of energy and are pretty much monkeys. They were some of the best students I have ever had, and at 11 years old, Taiki the oldest, has already passed the 2^nd highest level of English Proficiency tests. That is the level that one of my English Teachers at school just passed last spring.

If I had to pick the best of the best of my trip, I would still have to make a list. Some of the top things include: seeing those wonderful kids again, and seeing how much they have grown, getting to experience a traditional Japanese New Year, and most definitely more than a few wonderful home cooked Japanese meals (I try to cook Japanese, but really what do I know compared to a Japanese mother of 3?).

They May have grown, but Aiki and Mizuki are still little monkeys!

My most heartfelt thanks go out to the Yamajuchis for having me as a guest. I had a wonderful time, and I really enjoyed everything we did. It is good to know that even though I am not Japanese, that I still have a Japanese family.

To the Yamaguchis:
Ojamma shimashita

& to everyone else
akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!

Here’s to a happy (insert whatever winter holiday you celebrate) to you!

2005-12-25T23:30:00.000+09:00

For me that’s Christmas. This Christmas is definitely a first for me. As it is for many of you, Christmas has always been a family time for me. Getting together with friends and family at my Mom’s house is pretty much the definition of Christmas for me. That being said, this is the first Christmas that I have not been at home. Moreover, a few of the dudes here in Nakano went home to see their families, so our crew here is even smaller. Even though this sounds like a recipe for a blue Christmas, it most definitely has not been that bad.

First of all, it was a white Christmas…well kinda. There is plenty of snow on the ground here. It didn’t snow over night down here in Nakano, but it sure did up at the ski hill. Brandon and I went up to Nozawa-onsen (where we have seasons passes http://www.snowjapan.com/e/resorts/resortdetail.php?resid=40) to shred some powder today. It snowed there last night, and today was a beautiful blue sky day with tonnes of powder. Check out that website, they seriously have 12 feet of snow! Not only was it a beautiful day to be on the hill, but Brandon and I decided to have some fun for Christmas. I wore a Santa jacket and beard, and Brandon wore a Santa hat (my Santa hat wouldn’t fit over my helmet.) We rode around all day with people gawking or gasping and saying “Santa-san!” It was really great. Every time someone would say something or have a funny expression, I would yell “Merry Christmas!” It was often met back with at “Meri Kurisumasu!” The best was when we went in for lunch. There was a little girl no older than three, she saw my suit and dragged her mom over to us. She stared up at me with wide eyes. I gave her my Santa bit and she was all smiles. Then, she noticed Brandon’s hat. She pointed and said “Santa-san no boshi (Santa’s Hat)!” In Japanese, Brandon told her that Santa’s head was too big, so he had to wear the hat. The girl laughed and kept staring and smiling at us until her mom had to drag her away. That moment right there made the whole day for both of us.

Now for the second reason that this Christmas is not as blue as it could be. I got a surprise package in the mail. Now she may say different, and she may even write it here, but I distinctly remember my mom saying that she wasn’t going to send anything for Christmas. She has already sent me many things, at a pretty penny each. I totally understood, and wasn’t expecting anything. Never the less, a box arrived for me, and it was full of Christmas stuff. A few of the unwrapped items included a mini tree, a garland, and some strands of lights. It even had my stocking in it!

I set up the items a few days ago when I opened the box. They definitely gave my house a festive feel. I even put the gifts under the mini tree…well, the tree is on a small table, and I put the gifts under that. Having that all set up was a bit of a double edged sword; it made my house feel more Christmassy, but it also reminded me of what the holidays are really supposed to be like.

Brandon also received a box of gifts from home. He and I decided to open our gifts together. He wanted to open them a few days ago, but I made him wait till at least Christmas Eve. We ended up waxing our snowboards that night, and by the time we got around to open them it was after midnight. In the end I guess we did wait till Christmas to open them, but we just didn’t wait till morning. It was pretty fun for both of us. We laughed at the typical things that we each got. I, of course, got a toothbrush and toothpaste. It wouldn’t be Christmas with out those in my stocking. It was also kind of funny that he and I both opened a package of socks at the same time, and we also opened long sleeve shirts at the same time. The best part was eating the shortbread cookies that my mom sent. The best shortbread ever was made by my Gran, but this is my mom’s best attempt yet. She put her own spin on them and they turned out delicious.

I had a great Christmas, but it would be a little dishonest to make it seem that I don't miss being home for the holidays. I miss getting to spend time with everyone. I miss relaxing by the fire and the tree with a coffee & Baileys. I do miss many things, but I knew what I was getting into when I came here. I feel like I prepared myself well, and I think the way everything turned out has also made it a good Christmas. I am happy with the decisions I have made, including staying here for the holidays.

Now it is almost the end of Christmas here, and most of you are just about to wake up for Christmas morning. I hope that you all have a great Christmas. Enjoy whatever it is that you do today. For me I will be waking up on a Boxing Day in Exile, and going to work. That’s right, we still have school. Winter break doesn’t start until Thursday!

Well here’s hoping for peace on Earth, and to health and happiness for all of you.

They Said it would never happen...

2005-12-22T14:23:00.000+09:00

They never cancel school in Nakano. Come hell, high water, typhoons, or blizzards. Well they never thought this day would come. School was cancelled today…and all over a little snow. By little I mean snow that is almost to my knees. Besides it didn’t come down very quick at all. It has been snowing for 3 hours. That’s only a little over 6 inches and hour. Come on, half a foot in an hour…we should still be in school.

Now if you will pardon my previous sarcasm, I am going to have a beer and build the cities biggest snowman with Brandon!

It's finally here!

2005-12-14T22:43:00.000+09:00

No, not a new post, the SNOW!!!!!

Before anyone starts on about how it has already snowed in Vancouver (and probably in Toronto too Auntie Sue…) I am not talking about a little snow. We have had our share of flurries over the last few weeks, but I am talking about a full-on dump of snow. Snow that even makes die hard snowboarders cringe (well really only when armed with a shitty Japanese snow shovel…but more on that later). So here is the deal:

Monday night, my buddy Derek came over to watch some hockey (yeah for Liz and the delivery of recorded hockey games…the lock out didn’t end for me until yesterday.) At some point in the region of 8:30, I ran out to my car to grab something. The odd night time snow flake was making its slow way to the bare ground; nothing unusual there. I went back inside to watch the rest of the game.

Derek had a hockey practice later that evening to attend, so he booked out around 9:20. I was seeing him to the door, when I happened to glance at the winter boots I bought at Mountain Equipment Co-op. They are rated for -10 and they are comfy and really nice to walk in. Looking at them while Derek was putting on his shoes, my exact words were “Man, I can’t wait for it to snow enough for me to finally get to wear those boots…”

It was seriously not 10 seconds later when Derek opened the door to go, and…all he could say was “ask and ye shall receive.” He stood aside to reveal the ground entirely coated, nay, blanketed in snow. There was a good 8 cm on the ground already, and it had only been snowing for less than an hour!

It was absolutely puking. It made some of the snowstorms I have seen on the Sea to Sky highway look like dry heaves! Everything was coated in fluffy whiteness, even the links in my neighbour’s chain link fence. It was a beautiful sight to see, and yes indeed I got to use my new boots right then and there.

I followed Derek out to his car, only to see that both his and mine were simply amorphous white blobs in a sea of white. As Derek got started on cleaning off his car, I decided that I should do some preparatory snow removal as well…since it didn’t show any signs of letting up. After dusting off (and I use that term very liberally) my car with my little scraper/brush combo, I hauled out the snow shovel to work on my disgustingly large drive way.

A little side note here on Japanese snow shovels: They suck. They are quite unlike the ones we have back in Canada. They don't have that nice curve on them. They aren’t wide. Worst of all, they aren’t made of thick plastic or metal. They are rather flat, only about 20” wide, and worst of all they are kinda like flattened baskets. They are full of holes, as if they were woven. Now maybe in the olden days that’s what they were, woven, but come on now, a flimsy, narrow piece of plastic that is full of holes is not a good way to remove snow.

***Amendment***
I have found the snow shovels that are like the ones in Canada. Apparently they don't stock those till it really snows. By really snows I am talking about feet of snow in a day. I have gotten myself a nice new orange Canadian-style snow shovel now.

Back to the story.

So my driveway and car were clear from snow, so I went back in to my house to do some reading. About half an hour later I went outside to take a peek at the weather. I didn’t think it was possible, but it was coming down even harder than it had been before. I took a walk to my car, and found it covered in another 5 cm of snow. That’s 5 cm in 30 min, which breaks down to about 1cm every 6 min. I am not exaggerating that at all either. At that point I decided that I was just gonna deal with it when it was all down. If all the work I had done was erased in half an hour then I wasn’t gonna bother.

Later that night I was awake reading in bed. It was around 1am, and I was trying to muster enough desire to sleep (I was reading the 11^th book of a series that I am severely addicted to). It was all quite, then I started hearing a strange scraping sound. I took a look out my door, and my neighbour Brandon was out shovelling. When I asked why the hell he was doing it at 1am, he said that last year he found it easier to get it done before the morning. The reasons for that being are that you get your driveway before the plough fills it with more snow, and you can get the road in front of the house before it becomes hard packed and hard to drive on or clear.

That all being said, I was soon hauling on some warm clothes, and my faithful winter boots, and trekking out to my car. The snow had eased significantly, but not before it had thrown down 6 or so centimetres. I cleaned where I had before, my car, and this time I did the road in front of my house as well. After that it was on to the area around my car, and then to my door. Brandon and I were planning on doing the neighbours roadway as well. They are old, and it just makes it a little easier for them come morning. I say planning, because a series of events was put into motion that wouldn’t be resolved till the next afternoon.

It was about 2 am. I was just finishing my snow removal when Brandon came out side. For some reason his gas heater was not working. It was clicking (the electric starter) but not engaging, and then the safety shut off would engage after about 15 seconds of not working. I went in with him to check it out. We tried a bunch of hunches I had on what it would be. None worked. We hauled out another heater he had, and that didn’t work. Brandon was getting a little upset at this point…it was getting damn cold in his house. I have a spare electric only heater, and I told him I would let him borrow that. After trying a few more things, we went into the kitchen and checked the gas range. Low and behold it wasn’t working either.

So we had the problem diagnosed, now time for a prescription. I asked B where his main gas shut off was. He kinda looked at me like “what the hell is the main gas shut off?” I just went outside to find his gas meter. After a little searching, I found the meter and the valve. There was a red light on the meter flashing. For me, that was a sure sign that that was where the problem was. I turned the valve to off, then back on. I looked for something else to do, but it was really dark, cold and late. We went back in, and the gas was still off.

B was gonna lose it at this point. I told him I was gonna go get the other heater I have. On the way to my place, I went to my meter to check out what it looked like to see if there were any clues to how to fix his.

I got to my meter and there was no flashing light. Decided to turn the valve to off, and then back on. I left it in off for about 2 seconds when I heard a very loud, very ominous click. If my suspicions weren’t enough, the little red light on my meter started flashing. Sure enough, my gas was off now too. (note to self: don't mess with the gas lines unless you need to shut them off in an emergency)

I went over to B’s, and told him I couldn’t lend him the heater. He asked why not. I was trying to explain, but I just started laughing. I couldn’t talk. Every time I tried to get out what had happened, I just started laughing more and more. It got to the point where I was in tears, and doubled over in pain. After that had subsided, I managed to squeak out what had happened. B went from chewing nails to doubling over as well. We were both wrecks, but at least it put B in a bit of a better mood.

It was about 2:45am. Our houses were cold. Neither of us could cook breakfast. Neither of us could have showers, but surprisingly we both headed to bed laughing. The situation was just too silly not to laugh at.

The resolution is that we called our boss the next day. While we were at work, a little cold, hungry, and stinky, our boss called the gas company. By the time we had both made it home that day we had gas again. One cold night, and a hungry morning, but in the end all was normal.

As far as the snow goes, there was 20 cm on the ground when I woke up. I stopped snowing sometime in the night, but started up in the afternoon. It has been going on and off ever since. Last time I checked, it is coming down pretty hard again tonight. The real irony is that a few months ago while I was talking to Brandon about when winter arrives, he simply told me “you’ll wake up one day, and there will be a foot of snow.” He wasn’t that far off. The snow is still on the ground, and winter had most definitely arrived.

--------------------------------------------------

So I have a lot of adventures to relay to you all, but they will have to come in time. Since the snow is coming down fierce, the hills are prime for shredding. I hate to tell you all, but ripping up fresh powder with my board is probably my top priority other than the necessities. Who am I kidding, it is one of the necessities!

Well that’s it from Nakano. I have a hockey game to get back to watching…albeit from Oct. 8^th. Big big props to Liz for bringing me a few months worth of NHL on tape (amongst all the other things I requested)…the lock out didn’t end for me until yesterday when I watched my first game in a year and a half.

Cheers Beers all!
Adam

sorry for the wait...

2005-12-06T16:43:00.000+09:00

...but it will be just a little longer for a real update. My life lately has been so intense that there has been very little down time, and that which I have had I have spent burried in the wonderful novels my mom sent to entertain me.

As far as why I have been so busy, here is s recap of my last month. My friend Mike was in Japan with family, so he came and stayed with me for the better part of a week. About a week after he left, I went to Europe for a week with my neighbour Brandon. The day I got back to Japan, Liz came to Japan to visit. That pretty much brings it to this moment. Again, sorry for ignoring you all, but I promise, come next week I will have a hearty update that will hopefully make you happy.

As far as this moment goes, it's snowing. It has been for a few days...off and on. It is cold, but great. Liz and I are forgoing a weekend in Tokyo to hit up the ski hill...

hope you are all having a good time, and please check back soon....

miss you all, and I do really feel guilty for ignoring this!

-adam

Pic's

2005-11-10T18:01:00.000+09:00

***NOTE: click to enlarge photos***

This is a view from the window of Matsumoto Castle. It's taken from the moon viewing room over looking the moat.

Mastumoto castle from outside the moat. Nicknamed "Crow Castle" for the black lattice work that is kind of unique. It appears to have 5 stories, but in reality there is a 6th (the 4th floor) that is hidden from outside view. The used this space for food and ammo storage.

Matsumoto Castle, taken from the inner grounds.

Another shot from the Moon Viewing room. You can see the array of colours that accompany fall in Japan.

Some cool samurai frog things. If you want to know more, you'll have to find someone to translate the sing, cause my Japanese sure isn't that good!

Some ni-nen-seis (2 - year - students) at Hirano Elementary. This was taken at lunch so they are in their serving clothes.

Halloween, English Night Class style. Meet Devin Snow aka. "Cold Cobra," Brandon Dean Back (BD) aka "Masta Rasta," Rich Shelala aka "Soop," and me...I could tell you my code name, but then I would have to kill you!

The good old tub of apple bobbing fun.

One of our students trying after a successful snag...

...and giving the obligitory peace sign as I take her championship photo.

Sakura. The cutest, and most tempermental, little kid. Her mom is a student in our class. Sakura likes me, but takes a good 30 min to warm up to anyone during class. She is holding Kaki, or persimmons...which are suprisingly like pumpkins. We carved them for a good old halloween feel.

Another ni-nen-sei class. This was taken at Nagaoka-sho (sho is short for the word for elementary school) during our Haloween party. Click to enlarge and see the cool costumes. My Spiderman mask pales in comparison.

More Nagaoka-sho kids. This was taken in September. No one would be ballzy enough to wear shorts now!

Pink team taking a bow after their play at English Camp.

Pink team celebrating many victories in the English Camp awards.

A Japanese parfait...edible art.

A traditional Japanese meal...more edible art.

If you click to enlarge, see if you can find the first mountian snowfall.

A waterfall in the hills near my house. I have been told it freezes into an ice fall in the winter.